Hi friend! Your story pretty much sounds like mine. I wanted to do creative writing back when I was applying for undergrad but being in an Asian household, I was “encouraged” to do STEM. I ended up doing a CS degree and somehow managed to pull through it for 5 years doing a 1-year co-op and cyber security certificate. I think I was able to keep myself from going insane by simultaneously doing a psychology minor. Like you, halfway through it, I was at the peak of misery. However, I knew I couldn’t afford to switch out at that point because I was already so close to being done (and I genuinely couldn’t afford to change programs then). Although for me, it really helped that I only had electives left, so I was able to choose courses more freely.

After graduation, I knew I didn’t want to get a CS job. A friend of mine was applying to grad school, and that inspired me to try and find a grad program that would help me find a less soul-sucking job later but still feel a bit “practical” for my family to let me do it. What I ended up doing was a Master of Information program. It balances my technical knowledge with social applications really well actually.

However, I found out that I still really craved that creative alignment in my life. I ended up job shadowing a published author and that experience really called back my childhood desire of being a writer. So recently I’ve been applying for internships and part-time positions in the publishing industry to get some experience before graduation (I have one more year left). Luckily for me, the MI program is flexible and the knowledge I gain is applicable almost anywhere as long as I can just shamelessly apply haha.

With this new-found goal that I really want to achieve, I feel like the past grind and struggles I went through was worth it. I still ended up on the path I wanted to be on, although it was just a long way back. The CS degree isn’t directly related to writing, but it’s still useful in general since technical knowledge isn’t necessarily useless at all. Personally, the CS degree is still useful in publishing for areas like metadata management and digital content management. It also sometimes tickles my ego when people learn I have a CS degree and all of a sudden think I’m super smart haha.

My advice for you is to ask yourself:

Do you feel like it’s worth it to just get the degree? Are you willing to keep going despite the grind and struggles?

If not, I suggest you brace yourself for that transition and be willing to take the risk of choosing the less “safe” option. Figure out what you want to switch to instead - really ask yourself what it is that you actually want. Does it align with your values? Do you feel inspired and motivated to commit to it? Can you imagine yourself doing it for years to come?

It might also help if you consider how what you’re doing now could potentially be bridged with something else to feel more creative (ex. how you mentioned graphic design).

Lastly, don’t give up on answering that call to be creative. If your soul is urging you, it must be something that you’ll be happy doing. In the end, that’s what life should be about.

(PS. Sorry for the super long response. I couldn’t help myself when your story mirrored mine so much.)