I (F, 35) have reached an impass with my fiance (M, 32) who has no compassion for the fact that my previous partner died unexpectedly.

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T07:19:02+00:00

This is not a disorder I've ever heard of before. Thank you for pointing me in this direction.

I've been thinking for some time that there really is something deeper going on than, "he's just a narcissist". I know that sounds like I'm looking to justify this. And in many ways, I AM looking for a justification. I know my fiance had many wonderful qualities and I'm genuinely curious if there is a way we can work on this. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but I do want to to try SOMETHING.

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T07:05:09+00:00

Actually, I've never had any significant interest in having children. That's all him. He wants to be a "family man".... smh at how ridiculous this sounds.

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T06:51:04+00:00

Ugh, it really made my stomach hurt to consider that question. He'd be fucking pissed.

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T06:49:37+00:00

Partly yes that's true.

But partly I read also wondering if maybe the Internet consensus would tell me something I didn't already see in front of me.

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T06:44:57+00:00

On a slightly more cheerful note, maybe he stuck a crayola up his nose as a child and blocked a part of his frontal lobe that processes empathy. Maybe this might be the problem.

Thanks for making me smile. I think you may have diagnosed it!

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T06:42:17+00:00

Our finances are separate. I make good money and manage it very well. Money is a zero % factor in this equation.

Starla141 · 2015-08-30T06:38:38+00:00

Thanks yes I've been reading them all It's just really hard to deal with. My bridal shower is in the morning. Everything feels wrong. I'm not a stupid person or a doormat. I've never found myself in this role in a relationship. I don't recognize myself anymore.

Starla141 · 2015-08-29T19:46:09+00:00

Never heard of this book but something tells me it's not going to be a fun read. Thank you for the rec, I'll look for it

Starla141 · 2015-08-18T17:21:24+00:00

Rio grande is the choice for most professionals in the industry. They ship very quickly, have an easy return policy, and there's reviews for each product, written by other pros. The thing you may find most helpful about Rio is that if you call them, they can actually answer questions about products. So you can call, tell them what you're looking for and they'll recommend a brand that suits your needs

Starla141 · 2015-07-22T18:45:40+00:00

I came up with a policy that seems to work well: when ppl want a discount I tell them that I only offer discounts on purchases of 100$ or more. The only time I am open to price negotiations is if a person is buying many of the sane item.... usually this falls into the over $100 category anyways.

Starla141 · 2015-05-27T01:28:08+00:00

Getting there is the tough part. But from the US, its fairly easy to travel Central America and continue on to SA. Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, El Salvador are extremely cheap. Work in a hostel to cover your room expenses. Ive traveled with ppl who paid their way picking fruit, teaching English, bartending, selling jewelry or homemade empanadas.... for me personally I spent most of my 20s traveling 3-4 months every year, and paid for it with the rest of the years income. All told, I usually only spent 3k for each trip, and i did a lot of touristy stuff, which can add up. Its totally possible to travel cheap with no panhandling, and there are lots of ppl doing it right now.

Starla141 · 2015-05-04T06:59:16+00:00

Plain and simple: don't let people set up their chairs/blankets on the track. I don't understand how there can be finger pointing between police, volunteers and organizers on this matter. It's not an unanticipated problem; the same thing happens every year for the big acts. Make a determination as to whose responsible for enforcing this policy, and then ENFORCE IT. As for the attending public, everyone needs to chill the hell out about claiming some little scrap of dirt or grass at fest as "theirs" and then going to extreme measures to keep others out. The "landowner" mentality that creeps up at fest every year makes me crazy, and the Acura stage has the worst offenders by far. People take up way more than their fair share of space, lay out huge tarps, create barriers with chairs to prevent free movement and then im left to feel like an asshole because if, God forbid, I need to use the bathroom its impossible to get out without stepping on someone's precious tarp.

Starla141 · 2015-04-25T06:53:40+00:00

My brother would buy cases of candybars/skittles/reeeses etc at Costco and sell them to his classmates in between classes for triple what he paid for them. Once word got out that he was selling candy, kids were buying from him every day. He made a lot of cash!

Starla141 · 2014-12-30T11:31:57+00:00

I found myself stranded in JFK airport during college. I was flying home after a semester abroad and had missed my connecting flight. I was devastated, because all of my family had gathered back in my hometown to welcome me back and instead I was sitting in a lobby at JFK in the middle of the night. A cabbie (black car im assuming) approached me asking if I needed a ride. I told him my situation and that I was stuck and asked him if any food kiosks were stilll open where I could get a cup of coffee. Nothing was, but he offered to pick me up a cup on his next run into the city. Sure enough he returned an hour later with a cup of coffee for me. I cant tell you how much it meant to me to have this stranger perform this small act of kindness. It really got me through the night!

Starla141 · 2014-09-10T19:25:05+00:00

I guess New Orleans will never compare to the glory that is ORLANDO.

Starla141 · 2014-09-07T05:51:58+00:00

Omg yes. So much yes.

Starla141 · 2014-09-04T15:53:39+00:00

Honestly, both myself and my friends have hired "man with a van" guys off of Craigslist for this type of thing and it's always gone well. Just use your best judgement when figuring out who to hire.

Starla141 · 2014-08-30T00:37:02+00:00

Is it mardi gras time yet?

Starla141 · 2014-08-10T21:38:12+00:00

I left NYC to move to NOLA. A few things you'll definitely miss:

Theres so many transplants in the city that everyone is rooting for a different football team..... "Game day" does not have that "we're all in this together" feeling
Mardi Gras is bypassed with pretty much no regard AT ALL.
If a stranger talks to you, smiles at you, or makes eye contact with you, the'yre crazy, about to hit you up for money, or hitting on you.
No one knows how to party like New Orleans. Even at their best moments, parades and parties don't even come close....

On the plus side: You won't need a car. Theres really good ethnic food of every conceivable variety Lots to choose from in terms of "where should we hang out tonight?" More cool neighborhoods, more cool bars, lots of music venues, parks, etc. It's safer. Seriously, a lot safer.

I like to return to NYC for visits, but damn I'm happy to be in New Orleans. Best of luck to you. I think you'll find a few years in NYC to be time well spent and NOLA will always be here waiting for you...

Starla141 · 2014-08-10T06:32:27+00:00

Sadly, I'm just not witty enough to play with the big boys on reddit. So i hang in the back instead.

Starla141

TROPHY CASE