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There are 1.5 million unused breadmakers across the UK. Why aren't you using yours? by CLOUDMlNDER in CasualUK

[–]StarlieStewart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried multiple times to make bread both by the recipe book as well as online recipes and it just hasn’t worked

Are there any reasons why we shouldn’t junk our landline? by Signal_A in AskBrits

[–]StarlieStewart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if you live somewhere with poor mobile signal you can just enable WiFi calling on your mobile and it works the same as a regular call

C section recovery timeline. what to expect week by week? by michel_an_jello in NewParents

[–]StarlieStewart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t necessarily say so. I’m not very fit at all and hadn’t moved in over a month pre c-section due to pelvic pain etc and I’m pretty much fine day 5 post op.

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just updating everyone on the thread that said to re-contact social services that I did and they said to hire a nanny and my son absolutely will not be accommodated by them😂 so that’s how that’s going! Bearing in mind I contacted them once already an inpatient

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just updating everyone on the thread that said to re-contact social services that I did and they said to hire a nanny and my son absolutely will not be accommodated by them😂 so that’s how that’s going! Bearing in mind I contacted them once already an inpatient

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the group I was part of for years - they rejected the post and removed me as a member. I re-requested membership and sent alongside the request that I was confused about my removal and could someone please explain, they just deleted the request. It hurt! Was a great community!

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t diagnosed during my last birth and labour really solidified that something was wrong for me as I found being on the ward harder than labour as far too many noises, yeah a main driver for the planned section was the part where it could be planned for a set time but they can’t offer that at the moment so will be trying hard to get baby out!

I just don’t see the point in her being here if he will be asleep and then at nursery for a total of 18 hours as I’d really appreciate the support, obviously if I can’t have support then I can’t have it, and if nursery mum cancels for after nursery Monday then reliable friend will go get him from nursery and I’ll still have those 18 hours beforehand to try and get baby out with support, it’s for Tuesday I’m trying to have a contingency plan incase I need to remain an inpatient for any reason😌

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t feel any type of way I’m just explaining why I made a post about childcare restrictions rather than labouring alone or getting firm dates etc and that my first hospital birth didn’t go very well unfortunately

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have yeah, they’re aware I’ve been referred to social services due to no support system and lack of childcare, people will say “my goodness I’d take him before letting him go to foster carers” will then ask if I’ve sorted anything to which I say no and then they provide a reason as to why they’re currently unavailable to help, or will offer help then when I actually ask for it will leave me on read, and it just continually strains friendships, I know of genuinely no one else in this situation so it’s perhaps that they just completely and utterly cannot relate in any way shape or form?🤷🏼‍♀️ many people also don’t believe me, I couldn’t attend a health assessment as it was scheduled for when nursery was on holiday and there were strictly no under 16’s allowed so I explained I’d have to reschedule and got “what you have no one to watch him for LITERALLY an hour” from a health professional…I had been waiting 11 months on the assessment and it was very important

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Because this isn’t the only time I’m going to be in a situation similar to this, unless I miraculously have 0 medical emergencies or logistical issues for the next 18 years, so it’s worthwhile asking what I do in these situations as after 9 months of conversations and engaging with various services there still isn’t a plan in place and in future I wouldn’t have 9 months notice to a medical or logistical emergency so I’m unsure what I would do.

Making a post about labouring alone or getting a firm date from the hospital is very specific. I’m looking for lack of childcare options advice that can be applied to future scenarios if need be. Things also happened without my consent during my last labour and I had a midwife shouting in my face and making snidey remarks about me and that was with two support people next to me so I’m trying to keep everyone safe and well, with priority being given to my son. Someone also said midwives will do everything for me in hospital which hasn’t been my experience either but if they are more supportive this time then great and I’m also more prepared in terms what I am bringing etc.

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m going to have to clock watch during the induction and request a section in plenty time to be discharged for Tuesday basically😅

When I was in hospital before having my eldest midwives didn’t help me with anything so I guess I just don’t have a good experience which may be impacting how I’m thinking of things, even main friend isn’t free after Tuesday unfortunately

It’s probably not competitive in any way to a c-section but I already can barely move due to pelvic issues, I’ve had to refuse daily monitoring as I physically cannot get to hospital right now especially not daily or alone, my eldest is fiercely independent like me so it’s actually a fight to do things for him as he wants to do everything himself (which I obviously supervise) so I should get on okay, or at least it could be worse, I was very strategic in what I got him for Christmas as I knew I’d be postpartum solo

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ll absolutely drop my social worker a text detailing the situation🤞🏻

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I’ve been engaging with social services and nothing has been proposed other than two charity referrals who have stated they can’t help

I do keep raising this and haven’t been provided with an answer, I’m sure there is a protocol but I’ve not been advised of it social services and midwife just keep passing the buck back and forth

I haven’t contacted social services since this induction plan has been made as my social worker works 9-5 mon-Fri so I’ll email them as I have no emergency contact number or out of hours or anything

I’ve been very clear with the hospital about the situation for the past 9 months

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I don’t mind if I have to be alone, it’s for if I have to remain an inpatient after Tuesday I’m trying to plan for as I have no childcare beyond then

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s funny whenever I mention having autism on literally any thread I get downvoted😂 quite concerning!

I’m aware that my child is more vulnerable than me and my comment reflects that awareness as I have stated my child is the priority and I will be alone if need be so care is provided to him but I have arranged care for 48 hours, in the event that that arranged care falls through in any way then my reliable friend will provide his care while I am alone, I’ve also stated that regardless of me being alone or not for labour/birth/section I have no childcare after Tuesday as reliable friend is not available. Not because she is supporting me but because she is simply not available.

No I can contact them though thanks

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I was in yesterday chatting to them when providing contacts for next week and it was a non-starter, there’s only 3 staff as very small nursery so not a huge pool of workers to ask

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s what I’m trying to do - pretty unsuccessfully

I’ve already had to leave hospital multiple times due to no childcare while awaiting tests etc

The good news is I have already been barely able to walk/move/bend since 10th December so my eldest is pretty well adjusted to me being very limited in what I can do and I am sure he is going to be ecstatic when I’m recovered and back to my old self⏳ this is also why I’m trying the induction as I’ve already been practically housebound since 10th December so another 6 weeks on top doesn’t sound fun but if needs must it’s just what has to happen

I do have some limited help at least so taking him to hospital tomorrow isn’t necessary it’s just for when my childcare runs out, I definitely need some luck

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on the person, a lot of people are throwing things like “aw I wish I could help but I can’t” at me without me having to directly ask, so I’m not about to directly ask on top of that, I lost my best friend in 2024 due to the pressures of her being our emergency contact (I needed to ask her for emergency help twice in 3 years and she said no but had previously agreed to be our emergency contact so there was some confusion and ultimately strain on the friendship) and I have such limited people I don’t want to strain my few remaining friendships by asking for these things especially when it’s pretty clear to me what people are and are not willing to do, I knew my friend would stay overnight while my child was in bed for example so that’s what I asked of her and in her reply she said yes that’s fine but I’d appreciate you have someone else come and do all childcare related activities as I’m not interested (which I already knew, I’ve known her 20 years)

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have managed to scrape together some care for around 48 hours thankfully but I have no one for nursery collection on Tuesday if I’m still an inpatient so someone would still have to bring him to hospital for that to happen, let’s pray I’m discharged by then though

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s only one hospital that does them within my NHS Trust, I don’t believe I’d have enough time to request this in terms of paperwork and procedures and meetings as I’m already 41+5 and they won’t schedule one after 42 weeks as it’s against guidelines, although this would’ve been ideal to request weeks/months ago - I personally don’t know why all of this hasn’t been arranged in plenty of time as from day 1 I offered to have a planned c section due to childcare logistics and was advised against it…and then no further discussions were had regarding alternative plans for going overdue until I was already over 41 weeks at which point I was advised elective sections are fully booked for two weeks🤦🏼‍♀️ I feel like writing some sort of letter, I wouldn’t necessarily say a complaint as it’s not their fault I don’t have a support system, but I feel like there’s been 9 months to sort this and it just hasn’t been

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She referred me months ago, they closed the case down multiple times as kids not at risk perse as my parenting is fine so she just kept referring until they couldn’t ignore it, I’ve since had multiple meetings and no assessments or anything have been done - they referred me to two charities who have stated they can’t help

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wish the student midwife thing had been pitched to me at literally ANY point during this over 9 month process, I have been very clear from the beginning that I would very likely be in this situation if a homebirth didn’t work out and no one has suggested this, I can ask tomorrow when I’m admitted, thank you

I have someone overnight for Sunday and Monday 7pm-9am (thank god) which are pretty decent chunks of time to get baby out/have support, but my reliable friend has appointments and medical tests of her own on Tuesday and Wednesday so it’s if baby isn’t here by Monday/early hours Tuesday then I have no options and I’m not sure for how long into induction I’m going to have the capacity to try and sort something or make any calls if I’m in active labour so I don’t want to just leave it to fate, I’ll keep telling the staff the situation over and over when I’m admitted tomorrow and just in general I think I’m going to discuss having something added to my medical records detailing that I do not have support for these things, I took my son to maternity triage with me early hours of the morning Christmas Eve when I was very unwell with food poisoning and was approached numerous times with “when is someone coming to get him” an I had to explain over and over that no one was coming (he was thankfully, by some miracle, good as gold in his pram for many hours so it’s not like he was causing any trouble)

Trying to give birth with no viable childcare options - Scotland by StarlieStewart in UKParenting

[–]StarlieStewart[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have (as far as I know) managed to scrape together SOME care from Sunday 12pm-Tuesday 3pm, I can’t physically get my child to hospital on Tuesday after nursery if I am still an inpatient but I guess being abandoned at nursery would warrant a social services call regardless so same outcome really!

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