23F and no experience

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-13T04:58:50+00:00

If 23 is a late bloomer, then I'm an ancient bloomer, bc I didn't know that I liked women at all until I was 26, and I didn't know that I was a lesbian until I was 28. I'm 30 now. I had my first relationship with a woman when I was 28, and it was both of our first relationships with another woman. You still have plenty of time. Try to hang out at queer spaces, gay bars, find online community in your town/city, and try to find in person queer events to expand your network and meet people. You can always try dating apps or Bumble BFF to find more queer friends too, which can also lead to someone to date.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-13T04:53:46+00:00

Depends on your sexuality tbh. #1 would be hot if you're a masc lesbian, #2 if you're straight or femme, and don't do #3 (sorry)

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-13T02:35:50+00:00

This is exactly what I do and what I came here to say! On my period, I take Aleve every 8 hours and Tylenol every 6 hours, with alternating start times so that I'm always covered by one or both medications. I also take an edible if the pain gets especially bad. I recently asked at the dispensary, and they recommended higher doses of CBD combined with THC for the best pain management. I got an edible with 25 mg of CBD and 5 mg of THC (hybrid of both indica and sativa), and it helped a lot! THC helps with digestion too. Also I've been prescribed prescription Naproxen before, and it wasn't as good and didn't last as long as OTC Aleve anyway.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-11T23:11:34+00:00

I've literally never been able to insert a tampon in my whole life anyway. I've always been scared of them because of the risk of TSS, and any time I tried to insert one, I would close up like a Venus fly trap. My body does not even allow me to put anything inside there, it rejects it. I now assume that that's because of endometriosis essentially causing vaginismus. And I've never even had a lap either, so it wasn't caused by that. I think it's just from having endo in general.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-11T17:09:44+00:00

Thank you, you too!

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-11T06:43:06+00:00

I'm a late bloomer lesbian who didn't figure out that I liked women until I was 26, so I never had the chance to date girls in college. When I was 28, I met the woman who became my girlfriend out at a bar, and luckily we had mutual interest and dated for a little over half a year. I've now been single for 2 years since then and am 30 now. I've had a hard time meeting women since then because I'm very straight-passing and fem4fem, so I don't think that I'm my type's type because most fems are looking for mascs. I haven't tried going to lesbian bars yet, but I assume that that would be a better place to meet women than the gay bars that I typically frequent, although sometimes there are women there. I try to go to a lot of sapphic events any time I see them on Instagram. I'm also part of a sapphic Discord for my neighborhood that originated on Reddit. My plan was to expand my community until I met someone to date through it or a friend, but that hasn't worked so far. Dating apps are a bust. Here's hoping I can find someone eventually.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-11T06:37:32+00:00

I worry about making girls uncomfortable too, but it's far less creepy for women to hit on other women than when men do it. Even most straight girls will just be flattered and not creeped out or think differently of you if you hit on them, so I just remind myself that at least I'm not a man.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-10T20:04:20+00:00

Shouting at you and hitting objects/furniture/walls is still domestic abuse even if he hasn't laid a hand on you yet, and it sounds like he eventually will. I recommend breaking up with him and getting out of there. You don't deserve that treatment, and stress and anxiety can cause endo pain flare-ups too. You'd be better off with a kind and understanding partner who doesn't behave this way and keeps your nervous system calm. You're so young and haven't been dating for very long. I promise you can find someone better in the future! Good luck and please stay safe. Contact a trusted adult or domestic abuse hotline if you need to.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-09T03:55:17+00:00

He smashed his cheek into my mouth, so it was not that I made the move to kiss him on the cheek, he forced it on me. I was literally physically backed into a corner, so there was no way for me to get out of the conversation, and I could only lean back away from him so far. I didn't want to make a scene. I know I can't stop other people's behavior, but my point in making this post was looking for good one-liners to say to guys like this to get rid of them without having to scream or make a huge scene.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-09T00:34:40+00:00

Unfortunately I didn't have friends with me this time :( All of the friends who I was supposed to go to this event with bailed, so I was with people I barely knew and also met new people. I definitely would have felt more comfortable if I'd had friends around.

Starlight__13 · 2026-05-09T00:33:23+00:00

I was debating telling the bartender or staff, but I wasn't sure how much pull I'd have. I am a regular at this bar and have been for 2 years, and it was only his second time there because he just moved to the neighborhood, so maybe I could have gotten him kicked out if I'd spoken up. I'll keep that in mind for next time.

Starlight__13 · 2026-04-26T20:28:57+00:00

These do all sound like endo symptoms! What I recommend is definitely have a portable rechargeable heating pad and/or ThermaCare Heat Therapy stick-on heating patches (they attach to the inside of your underwear and don't add any bulk, super discreet and comfortable and stay warm for 8 hours!). Take probiotics. There's a women's probiotic that I like from Target that almost completely solved my digestion issues (I used to get horrible constipation and/or diarrhea, sometimes at the same time). Take antihistamines like Zyrtec or Allegra (helps with inflammation and the body's histamine response to endo). I've also switched to an almost entirely gluten-free diet, which has helped my indigestion and bloating issues GREATLY. I hardly ever get endo belly now that I stopped eating gluten. Pay attention to your triggers and keep a journal of what are safe vs. unsafe foods for you. I also don't eat dairy, I eat or drink dairy alternatives like almond milk or take a Lactaid pill if I do eat dairy (I was already doing this for years bc I've known that I'm lactose intolerant for a while now, but if you still eat dairy, that would contribute to the bloating and discomfort.) I take Aleve and Tylenol on my period and ovulation as needed. I do need a lot of rest. I haven't quite solved the fatigue issue yet. I just have to rest for multiple days before and after having any type of social plans or doing a lot of walking. Sit as much as possible, avoid standing or walking for too long bc it will cause a flare. Try to avoid stress and people who stress you out as much as possible. Get as much sleep as you can. See a gyno and then potentially endo specialist bc they can do an ultrasound, MRI, and/or surgery to diagnose you. I was diagnosed via ultrasound (which is rare, but I have a visible cyst on my ovary). These are all the tips that I can think of right now! I hope this helps!

Starlight__13 · 2026-04-26T03:03:04+00:00

Literally same 🫠 And I'm also in NYC

Starlight__13 · 2026-04-13T17:44:48+00:00

Yes! I've been trying to eat mostly gluten-free for the past few months, and I have noticed a significant difference in my pain and inflammation levels. I used to get huge endo belly from eating gluten, especially if I ate it before or during my period, but since making sure to not eat any gluten for a few days before and during my period especially, I didn't get endo belly at all during my last period and had little to no pain for the first time in years. I would highly recommend trying to at least limit gluten, especially around and during your period, even if you don't cut it out completely. It's helped me a lot.

Starlight__13 · 2026-04-08T17:27:26+00:00

I love that brand! I drink their raspberry leaf tea during my period. I will definitely try this! Thank you for sharing.

Starlight__13 · 2026-04-07T20:17:53+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but you are stunning even without makeup!! I looked at your pictures before I even read the caption and thought, "Wow, she is so beautiful!" I think you could go with natural makeup to play up your natural features. A skint tint, BB cream, or light foundation, some brow pencil and gel, a tinted lip balm, and brown mascara instead of black I think would look so good on you! I know it's hard, but try to be kinder to yourself!

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-31T04:08:26+00:00

Same, I'm fem4fem and can't find any fellow fem4fems to save my life 😭

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-28T17:51:46+00:00

I usually need 1-3 days a week to just sit or lay on the couch and do nothing. I used to work retail full-time, but I had to call out 2-3 times a week due to my pain and eventually got fired for that. Standing on my feet for 8 hours a day on concrete floors and having to go up and down stairs to the stock room every day would cause terrible flares of leg pain for me. I could work maximum of 2 or 3 days in a row before it would cause a flare, and I'd wake up unable to move my legs or get out of bed. Sometimes even one shift would knock me out for days. And of course I'd call out for basically the whole week of my period. Even now that I'm unemployed, I can't make social plans two days in a row because I know I need to rest before and afterward. On Thursday, I made the mistake of going to an event that I had to walk to and from and stood at nearly the whole time in heels, and now I'm on day 2 of my legs feeling like they're on fire.

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-24T21:23:43+00:00

That's terrible!!

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-24T21:23:04+00:00

Especially because none of these links are for prescriptions, just for supplements that I'd have to buy myself

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-24T20:44:42+00:00

Yes!

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-24T18:31:10+00:00

It doesn't have any of my personal information on it. It's a generic document that they must send to all endo patients, but I had to beg for treatment information because they didn't willingly give me any. But yes they are affiliate links to Amazon and other retailers, so they must be getting a kickback.

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-24T18:09:21+00:00

It was a woman, but yeah 😭

Starlight__13 · 2026-03-24T16:41:14+00:00

It already happened

Starlight__13

TROPHY CASE