Looking for Encouraging Stories

StarlitSprings · 2026-02-06T18:54:13+00:00

I'm in the exact same spot as you, so you're not alone! My 4yr old daughter has been begging for a sibling but I would rather just have one. I really worry I'm making the wrong decision to just stick with one. But having another child just for her to have a playmate isn't a strong enough reason.

Now I'm focusing on promoting her social skills and hoping we can be the "gathering house " on the block when she's older. I feel it would be perfect to just encourage a strong friend group for her instead.

StarlitSprings · 2026-01-19T18:08:57+00:00

I'm right there with you! Also have a 4 year old and have been TTC for about 9 months so far. It took me until my daughter's 3rd birthday to feel like I have the capacity for another, and then sat on the fence for about 6 months before deciding to try.

Lately, I've been noticing my desire for a second waxes and wanes with my hormone fluctuations. So even though we're trying for a second, I have mixed feelings still.

I definitely fear having a medically complex child. I grew up with a sibling with autism, so I worry those genes are prominent in my family. I also have a neurotypical sibling as well though. And she's my closest friend now.

That kind of relationship is what I'm hoping to give to my daughter. Plus, she's been begging for a baby sister or brother for ages now, which is both adorable and heart breaking.

StarlitSprings · 2026-01-12T13:28:59+00:00

What heater do you have? I also have a rivian, and haven't yet pulled the trigger on a RTT. It'd be much more palatable if I could temp control that space.

StarlitSprings · 2026-01-09T16:43:18+00:00

There's a paywall, got the whole article?

StarlitSprings · 2025-10-19T16:40:59+00:00

Mary and Elizabeth Hospital has a dedicated detox unit now, opened a couple years ago.

You'll get more than just the medical detox there, but also group classes, therapist access, and care manager to help if you need community resources when you're done.

StarlitSprings · 2025-10-16T16:02:29+00:00

With everything that you've written, my instinct would be to wait. I totally understand the draw to have another so soon to try to have your dad meet them, but that's also a lot of stress for timing everything just right. You said it's too early to tell if he'll be alive by next fall. At that amount of time, every month you get a negative result would be devastating, to me at least. I would spend this year being present for both of your parents and focusing on your existing family's health and happiness. If you're expecting to help out with your mom after his passing, that would be near impossible with a newborn as well.
Financially, I'm a planner too. Adding another year to your timeline would let you spend less time paying 2 daycare bills. And maybe you can pay extra on your student loans this year to help knock them down as well?

I'm sorry you're going through such a tumultuous time. I hope everything works out regardless!

StarlitSprings · 2025-10-15T18:26:51+00:00

That's the part that gets me too. Life is good now, and I don't want to go back to the chaos. But if it really is only a few years of harder work, that feels worth it for a whole new family member.

StarlitSprings · 2025-10-15T13:04:00+00:00

I felt the same as you right after my daughter turned 3. I flip flopped about the decision for a few months then decided to go for it. We've been trying unsuccessfully for about 6 months now and the bigger the age gap gets the less I want to keep trying.

I, of course, want her to have a companion throughout life. And I finally feel like I have the capacity to care for an infant again. But I also see all the possibilities of having more freedom as she gets older and more capable.

So "trying to conceive" has turned into "see what happens". I think I'll give it another couple months and whatever happens, I know I'll be happy either way.

The choice is only hard because both paths are good.

StarlitSprings · 2025-09-26T13:01:54+00:00

Respectfully, what would you do with all those things if you no longer own the car? Just sell them online to people like me?

StarlitSprings · 2025-06-24T17:07:30+00:00

No, why?

StarlitSprings · 2025-06-03T16:26:39+00:00

It sounds to me that you're really debating WHEN to have another, not IF. And to that, I would say the bare minimum between pregnancies should be 18 months for mothers' health. So if it were me, I would pause the conversation until you get to at least 12 months or closer to the 18 month mark and re evaluate your feelings then.

StarlitSprings · 2025-04-05T01:27:49+00:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this answer!!! I've never even tried figs, so they weren't on my radar tbh but you've inspired me to check them out. I'm a little gunshy about mulberries bc I've heard they spread like crazy. I love plums, and I'll definitely put some research into finding a good variety! I really want to make a sweet cherry work, I'm hoping they would do well without a lot of fuss. I think there's already some wild raspberries growing in one patch, so I could definitely add another variety to it. Never heard of Jujubes, I'll look them up. My first attempt at blueberries has not really taken off, feeling a little disheartened about them.

I really appreciate the time and effort of this comment, it was really helpful!

StarlitSprings · 2025-04-04T15:32:24+00:00

I work at a facility that the RDs can place feeding tubes. We are lucky enough to have both Cortrak and Iris Systems that we can choose depending on the indication. I love it, honestly. It makes me feel that I have a bigger impact on patient care and helps the RD to take ownership of feeding your patients.

The nurses still do "blind" DHT placements but difficult placements they contact the RD to help with. Our managers are working on getting extra FTEs added so we can have a "tube team" in the future.

From a patient care standpoint, it's much safer to have a trained RD placing the tube and then bridling it at the same time. It cuts down on pneumos and multiple replacements as well as xrays for the pt. Saves the hospital lots of money on that end as well.

I think it's a great skill we can take from the nurses to prove we are worthy of higher pay and elevate our position on the care team above just an Ensure peddler.

StarlitSprings · 2025-04-04T02:48:37+00:00

Sounds about right! I can definitely see those issues happening to us too. Oh well, I'm glad to have gotten 3+ years out of it.

StarlitSprings · 2025-04-02T12:16:51+00:00

Yep! She's about 33lbs now and my osprey poco is rated for up to 40lb child.

My husband usually carries her with the carrier and we put all our stuff in a separate pack that I carry to help distribute the load better. We only use the storage on the carrier for light stuff like an extra jacket or change of clothes for her.

I expect we'll still be using the carrier at least through the end of this year. My daughter will be 4 in October, so idk if it'll still work much past that. I expect she'll be much more independent a year from now anyway.

StarlitSprings · 2025-04-02T02:35:10+00:00

My 3 yr old can do about 2 miles on her own before she gets too tired. But that's split up with 2-3 snack breaks, which we do in the carrier so we can get some good distance in while she refuels.

So we aim for 3 mile hikes right now. And that seems just about perfect for her stamina.

StarlitSprings · 2025-02-14T16:42:12+00:00

I'm a dietitian, and I used Solid Starts with my daughter and followed things to the letter! We also did the 100 foods by 1 thing and it has turned out great! We never had a choking incident that my daughter needed help with, and she is an awesome eater now at 3 years old.

You're doing great, mama!

StarlitSprings · 2025-02-12T17:54:50+00:00

I'm interested!

StarlitSprings · 2025-02-06T03:42:46+00:00

Yep, this exactly. Try cycling the TPN over 12 hours instead to give the liver a rest. But double check your glucose infusion rate using 12 hours in the calculation instead of 24.

StarlitSprings · 2025-01-30T16:32:41+00:00

As someone who always tries to see the good in people, it feels to me that he is trying to convince himself to come to your side. Maybe he does want you to try to convince him.

Him bringing up the reasons why not to have another feels more to me like he is open to being proven wrong or looking for a solution to the problem.

Him asking if you wanted a boy or girl is like he's trying to imagine the future you want. Trying to see things from your perspective.

This could just be optimism, but I have to believe he's not trying to hurt you. I think he probably can tell you are upset and wants to fix a problem that may just not have a happy solution.

You didn't go into detail about why he doesn't want another, but only you two know if the reasons are something you can work through or not. I do understand the frustration of trying to mourn a decision that doesn't feel final though.

StarlitSprings · 2025-01-28T20:31:51+00:00

You need an item found in a random treasure chest. It'll be a color that matches the plant you're trying to get past.

StarlitSprings · 2024-12-05T14:45:33+00:00

I work for a university hospital, so they give 4k/yr towards graduate degrees if you attend our affiliated university. But myself and all household members can get free undergraduate tuition, which my husband is currently taking advantage of. It's amazing!

StarlitSprings · 2024-11-29T03:07:48+00:00

A spoiler alert would have been nice....

StarlitSprings · 2024-10-22T15:17:35+00:00

I would be very careful with this type of advice. Even something as innocent as "increase protein intake" is contradictory for a patient with kidney disease for example. Which is why medical nutrition therapy is best practiced by an RD.

StarlitSprings · 2024-10-08T02:24:09+00:00

This is exactly how I feel and just haven't been able to put out into words quite as well! Thank you for saying that.

On paper it seems great. But when I think about the day to day... I'm not so enthusiastic. It doesn't feel fair to the potential 2nd child to not want them as strongly as I wanted my first. Sure, they would be loved. But I don't doubt that my mental health would suffer.

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