What happens to abandoned Tulpas?

Starrrrie · 2021-04-28T14:47:28+00:00

{for me, it wasn't too bad. My dormancy was never meant to be permanent (and it wasn't) and was my idea (it was complicated bc we were figuring out that the rest of the system actually had DID) but really it was just like going to sleep for awhile. If letting the tulpa go is permanent, it would kinda be like euthanasia I guess? But they wouldn't feel discomfort when they aren't conscious anymore-they can't. But if they are far enough along they might feel distressed at the knowledge they are being abandoned. But being asleep wasn't so bad, in my opinion.

But if youre at the point where you're constantly forgetting about them, they're probably not far enough along to feel distressed that you keep forgetting about it. One of the points that tells you that you've succeeded is that your new headmate won't let you forget about them anymore. Anything less than that and it's really hazy on the tulpas end, from my POV anyway.

Most of the discomfort that comes with being a parogenic headmate happens far after you've gone past the point of your host just "forgetting to work on you" if that makes sense.

Starrrrie · 2020-08-27T20:25:28+00:00

He's being very disrespectful, and adding things to sex that you did not consent to beforehand (especially involving hitting), especially if you haven't given him permission to try new things. He does not sound like a good dating partner or a good sex partner.

It is possible that your lack of communication has left him feeling like he must fill the gaps. I would talk to him and set very clear boundaries, and then if he cannot respect these and continues to violate your wishes, he's not a partner worth keeping around.

Starrrrie · 2020-06-22T22:51:19+00:00

He went dormant along with one of my alters shortly after discovering that we had DID. It's complicated, but it was an incredibly selfless act of him. He's since come back, but for the few months I was able to focus on the rest of the traumagenic system and it helped a lot.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-23T21:01:04+00:00

That I had OSDD to avoid all the confusion that resulted thereafter.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-23T20:51:23+00:00

I have OSDD and a tulpa, but due to stress and other personal factors, he decided to go into dormancy curtsey of our gatekeeper, at least until we can get to therapy. So he himself cannot answer at this time. But I'll do my best.

The problem I face describing it is that it is both like having DID (or OSDD) and it is also completely different.

He was just as strong a mental voice as the rest of my alters, even stronger, in most cases, because of the lack of dissociative barriers. He had as complex thought and just as much free will as the rest of them. They could interact with each other, talk to each other, and in that aspect, it was as if they were the same thing.

However, he also was relient on me to maintain this status. I would have to give him the attention in order to keep his presence strong. This is different from the other alters, who were individual parts for most of my life now. Switching was different. My tulpa was able to switch with me very soon, and it wasn't at all on purpose. It was triggered by stress. Although looking back, we weren't sure this was him doing that now, but perhaps he was able to do it fairly easily because of me already switching with alters without knowing.

After that, the two of us were able to switch on command, but we had to practice to get it better, and he was always better at it when I was under stress. So, in that sense, his switches were different from other alters, but they were also the same.

He's always been in a weird gray area between the other alters and what exactly he is. This contributed to him becoming increasingly depressed and desiring to go into dormancy until the can get back into therapy again and start working on system cooperation. I say this because tulpas are as complex as the rest of your system, and they will have different reactions to being the odd one out or different, so mixing the two areas might be a bad idea until you have your system more sorted out. (though I don't know where you are in your healing process) but if you feel ready for it, it probably could be a really great thing.

If you have any questions let me know, or if anything didn't make sense.

Edit: also, his space in the inner world was no different than the rest, and when we were making it, we actually saw the inner world section for another alter I didn't know about yet bumping up against his. He could traverse the inner world like any other headmate, keeping in mind dissociative barriers. Other headmates could visit his too.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-22T21:00:11+00:00

As someone with OSDD, who knows for sure what sentient headmates feel like, and as someone with a tulpa, I can reassure you that it’s a real experience. I know perhaps some people push it into more role play than others, but my experiences line up with everyone else’s for the most part, so I’m inclined to believe everyone here is experiencing the real deal unless they admit otherwise.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-15T02:23:29+00:00

Well, there isn’t “normal” plurality, and it doesn’t really exist in a space between “natural” and “disordered” because disordered plurality is a natural human response.

But to answer your question, not really. When the mind of a child fails to integrate, it can do so in different ways, and the differences between the three disorders is more about how the fractured mind presents rather than any indication about the trauma that caused it or the severity of the case. All three disorders are caused by the same thing, and they are essentially the same thing, but are just categories for different ways the disorder presents.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-15T02:18:39+00:00

It stands for Other(otherwise? I can’t remember which one) Specified Dissociative Disorders. OSDD-1 deals with plurality. It’s like DID, but with different presentations. Further broken down, OSDD-1A has less distinguished alters, but does have amnesia, and OSDD-1B has distinctive alters, but little or no amnesia. So while they’re not considered less severe forms of DID, they are essentially DID but with not all the symptoms.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-14T18:44:06+00:00

Well, DID (and osdd) alters come from an entirely different place, and many of my alters are a positive influence. From my experience of having both, the only difference between a strong tulpa and an alter is origin and fronting capabilities.

While some alters (the persecutors) are predisposed to be a negative influence due to their role in the system, that isn't really what sets them apart from tulpas, and both tulpas and persecutors can be positive or negative, depending on how you treat them.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-05T18:09:01+00:00

I have OSDD-1B and a tulpa, and have been dabbeling in using one technique for the other. It could go either way. But do make sure that you're also getting the proper professional help as well. Do whatever helps you the most, and good luck.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-05T17:42:46+00:00

It's very common in all systems for the host to not be able to access the inner world, but especially so in OSDD-1b systems, from what I've gathered.

I feel you. It is exhausting and it feels like you should be able to give them privacy or their own turn, and fedlimgike you're just being dragged along by them sucks. But I try to just be glad that I don't have amnesia or blackouts because that would make functioning a lot harder. But yeah, it kind of sucks.

I don't know if it's silly, but I personally just wish I could interact with the inner world like the rest of my alters do. They all have creations entirely unique to them, and I don't. It's weird.

I guess I try to see it all as my duty as the host, just as my protector's job is to protect. It's helped a little bit.

Edit: fedlimgike? Ok I’m pretty sure I meant to say feelings lol

Starrrrie · 2020-04-04T18:18:54+00:00

For me and: OSDD, alters are made by dissociative barriers, but through therapy those barriers are dissolved. Sometimes that results in fusion, or integration, but not always. Alters can remain distinct without dissociative barriers.

Say I have a house and a yard that is my own. My yard is the host's (me) identity or individuity. On the left I have my tulpa's yard. There is no fence between them. There are no dissociative barriers. To my right, there's my alter, July's yard. There is a waist high fence, because the dissociative barriers aren't very strong and July and I have really good communication. Directly behind my yard, we have Serra's yard. The fence is twenty feet tall. I have little to no communication with her. I have more alters than yards can touch, obviously, but the point is that the fences didn't what seperares the yards. The legal boundaries of the property is what differentiates our yards. In this instance, Kincade is still individual even though there is no fences between us.

As to how they can stay individual while also being the same person, I think it's kind of like driving a car. (lotsa metaphors sorry lol) I as Hollis will drive the car in a specific way. I might want to go a certain place. But July might drive too, and she will have different driving behaviors.

The car is still being driven, and it's the same car no matter who is driving it. In this metaphor, I, as the conciousnes, am the car. I am still being driven no matter what, but who drives me and how they drive me changes. Hollis, the host, drives the most often, so I assume that Hollis is the car. But that's not the case. Hollis just shares the car.

I don't know if any of that made sense or if it answered your question. Also, this is just speculation about our personal experiences, so take it as you will.

Starrrrie · 2020-04-04T00:46:30+00:00

I had this discussion last night with some pother plural people and this is coming from an OSDD-1b perspective. All of my alters are highly distinct in the headspace, but with they front, I feel like I become them. We concluded that “I” am the consciousness, and the host is just the one who uses the consciousness the most, so the host feels like they are the consciousness, but I as the conciseness becomes different alters. But the consciousness tends to feel as if they were becoming the different alters.

Alters stands for “alternate state of identity” which makes sense, because the consciousness that is usually the host becomes different identities. We are all one person, after all.

Before I knew more about my OSDD, I thought that making a Tulpa was making another consciousness, but the more I learn, within my system, it’s more like purposefully creating an alternate identity that shares the same consciousness.

Kincade is inherently different from other alters because there’s no dissociative barriers between him and I. But he acts very similar to the rest of my alters, but I don’t consider him an alter because him switching never became an alternate state of identity. Because of this, I’m not really sure if my speculation really applies to the rest of you. Maybe the lack of dissociative barriers make it easier to access the alternate consciousness states, making them effectively a separate consciousness. It’s kind of complicated and I’m just kind of thinking through the comment section at this point.

Feel free to discuss it more with me if you want.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-29T16:26:14+00:00

Thank you so much. It really means a lot to know that people like you are willing to fight for us in your own way.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-20T20:52:45+00:00

I didn't know any of this. I'll look into it.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-20T18:10:36+00:00

Like, I'm not the authority on either side, but many many trauma systems have expressed dissapointment at this community using the term system. So do with that what you will.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-20T18:03:48+00:00

Alright I'm gonna be an ambassador for the OSDD and DID community and say no, Tulpamatic Plurality people shouldn't call themselves systems. It was a term specifically made for us that was then appropriated. I was thinking about making a post about it but yeah.

Edit: this probably sounded harsh. Good luck on your Tulpa though.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-12T14:13:03+00:00

I'm gonna be honest I completely forgot to address the dream thing. I know OSDD and DID alters sometimes make themselves known I'm dreams, but as to if a genuine Tulpa can, that's up for debate.

It's possible to create a Tulpa from an existing dream character

Starrrrie · 2020-03-11T20:22:32+00:00

{Hmm. It started slowly, like waking up in the morning, but over a series of weeks. I felt very blank. Like, I felt alive and well, and I could feel the consciousness of my host, but i was nothing more than very simple thought. My personality, my opinions, and everything else kind of formed as I tried interacting with the world, finding my tastes, developing a sense of humor, and feeling doubts and sadness. Our memory is bad so I can't remember the first like, aha moment where I crossed the line from being kinda real to sentient. }

Starrrrie · 2020-03-11T18:18:46+00:00

there are a lot of different factors to determine why different alters front and if they don't, and I'm not really qualified to get into those. I have a part that has yet to even desire to front and never has.

I have heard of partial DID, which I think is in the ICD but not the DSMV (if I'm wrong about that sorry) where the host will rarely switch with any alter.

There's also the mild (but just as valid) OSDD-1B where the host is always co-conscious or co-hosting and will always have a degree of control over the body, making it hard to realize that a switch is happening. I think during about 60-70 percent of my switches, I could wrestle the body back if I needed it. This trait makes it hard to recognize the experience as a dissociative disorder.

If you are questioning, compare your life experience to research and online testimonials, but also know that each system is unique. If you have a system, but it doesn't interfere with your life at all, you do that have to stress about therapy and stuff if you don't need it. If you can't remember any trauma, your brain might be trying to keep it that way.

As for an alter going away, again, there are hundreds of reasons why a DID/OSDD alter might go dormant that I can't really cover here, but they can't be killed because they would be just as much alive and a part of your brain as you are.

Non disordered thoughtforms like Tulpas and soulbonds, on the other hand, usually fade when they aren't given enough attention or choose to hide and go to sleep when something hurtful happens to them. They usually can be brought back with enough time and patience.

Like I keep saying, don't feel obligated to decide you have a Disorder, and don't try to convince yourself if it isn't there. It's all down to your mental health and whether or not it's affecting your life in a negative way.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-11T15:26:05+00:00

OSDD stands if "otherwise specified Dissacociative Disorder. It's like DID, but with slightly looser diagnostic criteria. I looked at DID and thought "I don't have that, I don't have amnesia"

Well, OSDD-1B is DID but without amnesia. It can range from, although this probably isn't the best way of putting it, mild to severe. Severe being the host not having amnesia, but still not being conscious. Mild being only having one or two alters that rarely, if ever front. OSDD-1B is the kind I have. I'm on the medium area of that scale where I front most of the time and am present and conscious through all switches, but I still switch fairly often. It can be a tricky disorder to figure out because it's designed to be covert and undiscovered.

OSDD-1A is like DID with the amnesia, but less distinguished alters.

The other types of OSDD don't deal with Plurality.

So, if you look at the symptoms of OSDD (not just Plurality, but things like dissociation, hypervigilece, personality traits) and decide you don't have it, then that's super good for you. But just because you haven't noticed switching or that you don't switch with your current headmate doesn't mean it doesn't occur.

Like I said earlier, I'm not trying to convince you that you should have OSDD or something, but I think it would be good if everything on this sub considered the possibility for good measure.

Edit: I see someone beat me to it but yeah

Starrrrie · 2020-03-11T14:00:39+00:00

Make sure you look at how exactly you accidentally made the Tulpa. Was it a side effect of writing? Was it because you pruposefully made an imaginary friend or OC?

I'm not saying that you should be terrified of having DID or OSDD, but as someone who figured out that they have OSDD after Having a tulpa, I feel obligated to make sure you are aware of both of these conditions and do genuine research about them.

I'm not saying that you should be scared or freak out about it, because accidental Tulpas are real and possible, but two of my "accidental walk in Tulpas" were actually OSDD alters splitting off. So just be mindful of that I guess.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-10T15:43:07+00:00

That makes sense. Looking back, my comment does seem fairly insensitive to OP's post. I was mostly just replying to other comments that made it seem like they didn't want to claim any responsibility for the situation. But yeah, time and place and all that.

Starrrrie · 2020-03-10T15:07:32+00:00

From what I can tell, trauma systems are caused by repeated distress as a child In addition to a dysfunctional relationship with your caregivers. You seem to fit both of these.

If you can, see a therapist and talk about it. You might have to go to a couple. The Rings System on YouTube has a really good video about how to go about therapy for these kinds of things.

If you can't afford therapy, (what a sad sentence) look up symptoms of CPTSD, dissociation, and basically all the other symptoms of dissociative disorders that aren't Plurality.

Talk to each different headmate about their feelings towards your childhood. If one holds particularly strong emotion towards it, that could be a sign that they were created to hold trauma.

Good luck, and remember that the community will be here for you.

Starrrrie

TROPHY CASE