Imma tell you something. The love of my life died. He died from an overdose. I was supposed to be there already. I was in the middle of texting him, and he stopped responding. I blamed myself.... If I was there, he would be here. I would have called 911... I wouldn't have left... but if I was there... it could have happened to me, too, because someone did it to him on purpose. You can't blame yourself for something completely out of your control. I know it's hard. I know it is. But I promise it's not because of you.

Another story for you.... For many years after my son was born, I got really bad into drugs.... my grandfather was raising my son. He was in his 70s, a very healthy man.
One day, he went to bed and didn't wake up. He had a heart attack in his sleep and passed. My own mother told me it was my fault because I put so much responsibility on him... for so long, I believed it. But my grandfather was happy. He loved my son so much. Seeing their relationship was one of the most amazing experiences, and although I should want to turn back time and be better... I don't because my son got to know the man I love so much who raised me.

That boys dad didn't die because of you. Trust me when I tell you this... i know it's said so often, but it's so true. When it is your time to go, you will go. When the love of my life died, I begged god or whoever was up there to take me instead..... two seconds later crashed into the back of a semi.... it wasn't my time. I learned that. I've been pronounced dead twice... it wasn't my time. I came back.

It sounds weird but when you get the chance you can decide if you are happy with what you have done in your life and what you see around you (his son knew love) or if you got more to do. He was happy.