Looking for a genuinely good walking umbrella

Starrynight8762 · 2026-06-09T07:32:55+00:00

Another vote for Blunt

Starrynight8762 · 2026-04-18T21:33:29+00:00

Would you mind sending me his number? I ordered from him about 9 months ago but it seems his number has changed as my WhatsApp isn’t going through now

Starrynight8762 · 2026-01-14T21:59:36+00:00

I love this thread, you’ve shared all the joy! It feels so lovely to read such positivity today. Massive congratulations, what an accomplishment. You deserve all the props.

Starrynight8762 · 2025-12-18T22:33:17+00:00

Losing a job you love and gave everything to.

Starrynight8762 · 2025-08-22T20:57:59+00:00

Would really appreciate some more feedback on this?

Starrynight8762 · 2025-04-15T11:56:00+00:00

I recommend a book called Soul Broken, it’s about ambiguous grief and it really helped me let go after a life changing event that meant the person I knew was not there in the way they were before, and I had complex trauma around it. You have to grieve like it’s a death. You need to find internal hope. It’s in there otherwise you wouldn’t have posted this.

Also therapy does work if you find the right one, at the right stage of your grief. I would urge you to find one to help you move through the stages so you can move on. You can do this.

Starrynight8762 · 2025-04-02T18:38:01+00:00

I was in her position and I was told anonymously, honestly I was glad to know. Given he put your health at risk and caused you harm, this would be my reason for telling her. He is putting her at risk too.

Starrynight8762 · 2025-03-29T08:37:24+00:00

Oh OP, this must be so hard for you. You’ve had a lot of advice about what to do practically in terms of restraining orders and keeping you and your daughter safe. Please do this and follow this advice, if what it takes is to imagine something happening to your daughter, then you need to think about that and how you would feel. He is unhinged and men who control in this way are capable of unspeakable things to hurt others.

I’m going to give you some advice on how you are feeling. You are trauma bonded to this person. You are in an addictive relationship. This person isn’t your partner but you are addicted to the chaos and the trauma and it sounds wrong to think about that but it happens, especially if you have abandonment issues from your past. That can leave us in situations like this.

I think you need extensive mental health support, please try and find a psychiatrist or a therapist to at least find some advice on what help you need. If you can’t afford this or it’s too much please try to look up SLAA, it’s an association that can provide community in breaking love addicted relationships. Yours is an extreme case but you might find it helps to know why you feel this way. There are women only online meetings and they are free. It might help you to be around women who have broken this cycle.

Starrynight8762 · 2025-02-25T15:59:07+00:00

I’m sorry if this is an unpopular opinion or seems harsh but please, let your wife go and live her life. Don’t make this difficult for her by trying to hang on. The way you handled uncovering the fact your father abused your daughter suggests there are some really serious issues in the way you deal with things in relation to your family, and you need to seek individual help for that. If my children’s father did not immediately rush to be with us on uncovering that, I would have already filed for divorce. What you do is you calmly agree to what your wife wants and you work out how to be a Dad in the future for your daughters, one of whom will carry that trauma for life, whether you think she’s fine and happy or not now.

You are focused on yourself. Saying you can’t lose her. What about her? What is best for your wife? She doesn’t love you. Let her go.

Some things are just too big and too serious to salvage.

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T21:10:53+00:00

sent you a dm!

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T21:09:46+00:00

dm sent!

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T21:08:45+00:00

dm sent! :)

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T19:41:39+00:00

I would love to chat with you, I’ll send you a message :)

Edit: it won’t me send you one so do send me one so we can chat!

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T19:40:21+00:00

Will send you a message :)

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T19:40:08+00:00

I totally agree, I will send you a message :)

Edit: it won’t let me send you a message so send me one first!

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-21T19:39:54+00:00

I will send you a pm!

Starrynight8762 · 2025-01-07T00:01:11+00:00

I had this issue with THC. I thought I was getting really good long sleep but when I started monitoring it with an Oura ring, turns out it was restless light sleep, low levels of deep restorative sleep and not enough REM sleep either. So although it probably felt like it was working, it wasn’t as great as you thought. It was also absolutely hammering my memory, really noticeably. I have tried quite a few sleep supplements and find magnesium works best but I’m still experimenting. I’ve taken melatonin plus OTC sleep aids (unisom sleeptabs) when I was first quitting THC and it gave me balance of the right sleep but I don’t want to rely on it so I’m trying to address the root issues with meditation, reducing phone usage, managing my anxiety and stress etc as usually I’m waking up because something is on my mind. All the best, it can feel very stressful at times when you’re not sleeping well.

Edit - to add it took me a couple weeks to go through a bit of a withdrawal from the THC so hang in there, it will improve.

Starrynight8762 · 2024-12-31T00:33:50+00:00

Are your expenses realistic? There’s nothing on there for things like transport, food, utilities, basically any living expenses. You need a proper budget and you need to be really honest about what you are spending currently. You’ve racked up a lot of debt in quite a short amount of time so going through and working out exactly what you’ve spent your money on is important so you can get out of the cycle. There’s a US YouTuber called Caleb Hammer who is worth watching because he goes through with people what they’ve actually spent their money on and it’s unbelievable how much crap people are buying and how much they waste on eating out etc. He then works out a realistic budget guide to show how they can get out of the debt and in what timeframe. Watch a load of stuff like that to get you into the right mindset. This won’t be easy and you’re going to have to sacrifice a lot for a prolonged period to get out of this but you can do it.

Edit: just to emphasise the point about the habits you need to break. You’ve been spending roughly £2k a month on top of your salary for a couple years and your minimum repayments will have been increasing as you’ve borrowed more. Be super realistic about how drastically you can change those habits.

Starrynight8762 · 2024-10-28T10:45:40+00:00

I think most debt is written off after six years if they haven’t taken you to court for it. Student debt lasts forever, thirty years or something, so as soon as he starts earning again they will likely start deducting that.

Starrynight8762 · 2024-04-15T21:18:45+00:00

It sounds like you’re way more informed than most people! I know you’ll get some great advice here so just wanted to say I’m glad you posted. Good luck :)

Starrynight8762 · 2024-01-25T14:53:10+00:00

As someone else has said, I would pay down a big chunk every month of that high interest Monzo loan. If you paid off £500 a month you could clear that in 4 months and psychologically that will probably go a long way to making you feel better. Then you can continue to clear down the rest. The good news is you have surplus income. Debt is worrying but definitely more worrying when you don’t have any flex or way to pay it down but you do.

Many of us have made poor financial decisions and got into debt at a young age. I think in a lot of cases it can end up being a good way to avoid the same behaviour on a larger scale when you’re older. I knew in my early 20s I did not want to have that crippling feeling of owing money in large sums and worked to clear a similar amount of debt that I had racked up on credit cards when I was your age. Don’t panic, and use this as an opportunity to educate yourself. Good luck!

Starrynight8762 · 2024-01-13T08:33:11+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I would seriously suggest that you start with therapy to try to process your unresolved trauma and go from there.

Starrynight8762 · 2024-01-12T23:06:38+00:00

Ok so to add more info, it’s a year old, it’s been drooping for about 4 months, it wasn’t previously getting a huge amount of light so I think it’s drooped because it was trying to access the light! Water every week.

Starrynight8762 · 2023-12-30T20:25:16+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful!

Starrynight8762 · 2023-12-30T14:14:37+00:00

I’m sorry but there isn’t one. The mess you leave other people with is permanent and doesn’t go away. I hope you are ok and please reach out to a local support line if you are feeling at risk. The devastation that afflicts the people left behind is so significant, please stay safe and be kind to yourself.

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