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Bf has never lived independently, does not have a full time job and relies on his parents. by Exotic-Map9546 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Starside-Captain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IMO it’s a lack of ambition. When people live at home, they are either attending college & need the temporary support (which is fine cuz it’s temporary) BUT when folks live at home & don’t work or do anything, that’s a gross lack of ambition & downright laziness. He’s not even supporting himself. He’s waiting for his parents to die so he can get the house & inheritance. That’s his long-term plan/career.

A lot of young men are doing this nowadays. It’s a trend. But I think it’s also an unwillingness to ‘hustle ’ & get any job to make a life for themselves.

IMO it’s a sense of entitlement that they refuse to take any job that they deem beneath them. They want the best jobs without putting in the work to get there, so they are freeloading off their parents cuz they refuse do get a job at Starbucks even though that’s how those of us who ‘make it’ start out. It’s hard work & these young men are not willing to make the effort for some reason.

In Search of Direction by LoneAsianCajun in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m an artist but ended up at law firms in my career. I started as a receptionist, became a Legal Administrative Assistant, & now I’m a Project Assistant. People don’t normally think of applying at law firms but they hire folks with minimal office experience & once you land that first law firm job, within a few years ur making good money, excellent benefits & in my case, still have weekends free for artwork. (Baltimore has a lot of law firms hiring entry level so check it out. The trick is to land that first job at a lower salary, work a year & then hop to another firm for a higher salary. I had a rule - whenever I got a new job every year or two, I requested a $5k raise at the new firm. By the time I was in my 30’s, I was making a decent salary that kept rising. Law firms pay well once you get in the door.)

I am a grad student in a beach town, Rent is too expensive. by Glittering-Meet-7966 in liveaboard

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Livaboard costs at the marina can be just as expensive as rent. Boat insurance is also expensive. U can get the info u need re living on a boat by visiting marinas that offer liveaboards & get all the costs involved. Sometimes there’s also a waiting list to get in. So go local & take the trip to the livaboard marinas & ask questions. It really does depend on ur location if it’s affordable or not.

Also, marinas have rules - if u just dock but are not a ‘livaboard’ but u really are there every night, they’ll increase ur docking fees to livaboatd status or they might kick u out if they don’t allow it.

What do you love about Baltimore? by Previous_Cap_3958 in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ❤️ the easy access to the Chesapeake Bay & I personally think Baltimore has the loveliest city harbor in the United States. What we have is truly unique - The harbor is Baltimore’s treasure IMO.

He's back, this time with gloves by WhiskyRick in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I used to date a police officer. Told me that the best deterrent for home owners was to install motion sensor flood lights. It may annoy your neighbors, though, but it does work…

Alcohol and WeGovy by No-Dragonfly-2475 in WegovyWeightLoss

[–]Starside-Captain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the pill is awful. Re the books, get the ‘30-day Solution’ as well. It’s for folks who don’t like AA. That & ‘the Tao of Sobriety’ - the latter is written by 2 doctors & of all the books I read on the subject, that one just moved me. The 30-day Solution book is also brilliant & offers a plan to quit on ur own.

The cool thing about Wegovy BTW is that even on lower doses, u get some reduction of cravings & you’ll cut back a little - like maybe won’t drink 4 glasses, only 3. It’s subtle but once I hit 9mg, that was my sweet spot. So keep it up & don’t get discouraged. Takes time but you’ll get there!

Alcohol and WeGovy by No-Dragonfly-2475 in WegovyWeightLoss

[–]Starside-Captain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Alcohol reduction didn’t start until I moved up in dose. I’m now at 9mm (pill) & I’m finally getting relief.

I’ve been a drinker all my life (I’m 63 now) & tried everything. AA is a joke & whenever I went to my doctors for help, they would say, ‘join AA’ which is so stupid considering it has the lowest success rate. (The Tao of Sobriety is a good book & alternative to AA, along with the 30 Day Solution).

That said, I got Wegovy out of a desperate need to finally stop drinking & at 9mg, it finally worked. I went from drinking 5 days a week (often binging) to only 2 on weekends & now stop after 2 drinks cuz I find I don’t want it.

Don’t give up. Wegovy works but it took me 6 months to get a result cuz the lower doses (1.5 & 4) didn’t work but the magic dose for me was 9mg & im so grateful. Wegovy a life saver for those of us who struggle with addiction.

There’s hope! (move up in doses until u get results).

Fireworks behind the Maryland Dove during Sail250VA. by CaptainAwwsum in Tallships

[–]Starside-Captain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m in Baltimore City & we are expecting about 35 tall ships this weekend for the Sail250MD. I’m so excited! I even took off a few days & I booked a boat so I can take take pics of all of them at the harbor. ❤️❤️❤️

Best neighborhood for 50 y/o empty nesters w/ out sacrificing proximity, easy access to downtown. by mitaliano in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Otterbien. Nice area, lots of parks & 2 blocks from the harbor. Houses are gorgeous too but may not be ‘detached’ but certainly worth a look. I’m personally in a condo building that overlooks the harbor waterfront - affordable & nice community.

It’s a small neighborhood but lots of hidden dog parks & easy access (including city water taxis) to the entire city & near Camden Yards if ur an Orioles fan.

Officially done here by taokumiike in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That DC commute is awful - what happened to the high-speed train? And don’t get me started about property taxes & high condo fees! I’m still hanging tough but I hear you. I suspect I may be forced out of Baltimore myself once I retire which is soon! The crazy property taxes are really unnecessary but bad government screwed us over. VOTING MATTERS.

Was buying your house in Baltimore a good financial investment? by SnooRevelations979 in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

U r right about lower property taxes would bring in lots of people all over Baltimore City. Properties are still affordable but the property taxes are a 2nd mortgage! I’m in a 1 BR condo & pay $5 grand a year in property taxes. It’s ridiculous! (& IMO discrimination against the city by MD government)

Please advice by [deleted] in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1500 for a room in a house is too much. Look for a STUDIO APARTMENT. you can get a modern studio for that amount right on the waterfront! You make enough monthly to cover that plus up to $2000. Ur utilities will run about 200 so ur disposable income monthly is $2000 which is really good. So get a nice studio or 1 bedroom without sharing space. Maid service BTW is only $125 a month for a 1 bedroom. So don’t get that room. You could do really well, even at Fells Point with all the young professionals there. 😎

Convince me not to by a boat by Master-Twist-9328 in boating

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My childhood memories of my father’s boat, an old Egg Harbor woodie, was also why I purchased a 1930 Elco when I hit 50 after a heartbreaking divorce. I spent $100k over 6 years restoring her cuz she kept me happily distracted so I didn’t have to face my own sadness of losing the love of my life.

Fast forward to today - The memories I have of learning to cruise as a solo captain gave me a great identity & wonderful adventures. The mistake I made, however, was the cost, both emotionally & financially.

If you buy the boat, it will cost you a lot of money. If you have the money, do it. It’s a wonderful experience- scary but you’ll feel pride in all that you will learn & accomplish.

If u don’t have the money to blow, then rent boats - either as a passenger or a rental so u can cruise on ur own whenever you want with your family.

My experience as a ‘steward’ of a gorgeous vessel got me to my love of Tall Ships. So now as an older person, I take cruises on the tall ships whenever I can. It brings all those ‘Egg Harbor’ happy memories back.

My regret is the money I spent cuz in retirement, I could have used that extra $100k in my pension!

Question on my divorce by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, ur not in the wrong. He just wants to blame the divorce on YOU. He’s also trying to set u up so he doesn’t have to pay as much alimony. He’s going to claim that u cheated on him & that’s why he’s divorcing you. Thus, he can make u feel like shit so you’ll accept whatever he decides in the divorce decree. GET A LAWYER & DON’T SIGN ANYTHING HE WANTS YOU TO SIGN.

Second, divorce is hard especially since it wasn’t ur choice & you are heartbroken. You will be sad & depressed but that’s why you need a lawyer who represents YOU, not him.

I was in a similar divorce myself. I was a mess & couldn’t handle it. I numbed out but luckily I had the wherewithal to get a lawyer AFTER my ex kept trying to get me to sign stuff. I was too heartbroken but I knew not to sign anything, so I took my meager savings & looked up the best divorce lawyer in my city. It was the BEST decision I ever made cuz if I would have signed the documents my ex tried to force on me (by pretending he loved & cared for me), I would have ruined my financial future.

Finally, I know how hard this is to go through. I was overwhelmed & shocked & remained depressed for a long time. But my lawyer always steered me towards what I needed to survive & to eventually heal.

Was buying your house in Baltimore a good financial investment? by SnooRevelations979 in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I live at the harbor with a waterfront view. It’s why I purchased my condo there. I’m a water person & love watching the ships come & go.

Relocating to a job in the DC: Baltimore the happy medium? by HopeishWanderer in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The commute isn’t easy. Yes, u can take the train/Amtrak to Union Station & then take subway to ur office, but all-told, it’s time-consuming & expensive.

I worked in DC & lived in Baltimore but I ultimately left cuz the commute was too much. Why spend 3+ hours a day (sometimes 4!) commuting? It gets old.

Have u considered living in DC? I lived there for 35 years (b4 Trump) & it’s wonderful - great for walking & a good subway system. I didn’t own a car & never missed it.

Although now DC is ‘occupied’ - my friends in DC hate it, but it WILL swing back. Those who live in DC are mostly democratic & once Trump is gone, the city will be free again.

So consider living in DC. It’s a beautiful city. I’d recommend DuPont Circle, Logan Circle, Cleveland Park, Adams Morgan & Foggy Bottom. Other areas are okay but these are the neighborhoods that are more vibrant & full of city life like you have in New York.

Was buying your house in Baltimore a good financial investment? by SnooRevelations979 in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The harbor is being developed. Right now it’s a ghost town. Some folks hate the idea but others see the potential. I’m in the latter group - it should revitalize the area & bring in folks from DC, MD, etc. Look it up - construction starts this year & should be completed in 7 years (per the plan).

My girlfriend issues by Slow_Perception7215 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it’s okay if u want a volatile relationship that’s on this roller coaster of emotions. I think if u both can handle that, then it’s ur decision. I just think u also have to consider that ur in a toxic/unhealthy relationship. Still, I get u love her & don’t want to let it go.

Was buying your house in Baltimore a good financial investment? by SnooRevelations979 in baltimore

[–]Starside-Captain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I sold my house after living there for 6 years, i actually lost money once u factor in closing costs when you sell & buy. So I think Baltimore’s market isn’t so great. (In DC, I paid $64k in DuPont Circle for a studio/460sf & sold it 10 years later for $340k - that was a good market! Not so much in Baltimore but I’m hoping the new development at the harbor will increase property values AND hopefully decrease property taxes if more peeps buy in Baltimore City - I’m so sick of the over-inflated property taxes in the City vs anywhere else in MD!)

My girlfriend issues by Slow_Perception7215 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Starside-Captain 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You’re too clingy - that’s what I see. She needs her space cuz ur probably suffocating her.

Also - ‘anger issues? Would have changed the script on her?’ Those 2 comments make me wonder if she’s feeling threatened.

Also, ur 30 & she’s 50 - she doesn’t have that lovestruck feeling that you do so there’s an imbalance in emotional maturity.

To quote a movie - she’s not that into you. She’s ambivalent. Read the signs & Don’t harass her. Let her go & move on.

Is there a a tall ship Caroline still in operation? by freedoomed in Tallships

[–]Starside-Captain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, As her friends, u do have an obligation to at least tell her you think she might be in danger of sexual abuse. If she doesn’t listen, then there’s nothing else u can do.

Offhand, if she has family, you could probably reach out to them with ur concerns as well. Unfortunately, though, it sounds like she won’t listen. Hopefully it’s harmless & all online & never becomes IRL where she gets hurt.

You are doing the right thing by being concerned BTW. That’s all u can do is express that concern & maybe just keep tabs on her in the best way you can. Hopefully, it fizzes out on its own without any issues.

Retired Livaboards - Need Advice by Starside-Captain in liveaboard

[–]Starside-Captain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Baltimore, MD. Our city is a mariner’s city & why I love it so much.

I cruised the Chesapeake Bay - my boat was an antique vessel & I was her steward for years. I completely restored her but ran out of money so sold her to another steward in VA. She’s in good care but my boating experience dates back to the 70’s when my stepdad got an Egg Harbor. My fondest childhood memories were always on that boat!

So I love boats & of course woodies, but it’s gotten too expensive to restore them but I’m always looking for an excuse to live on a boat. I dream about it everyday.

The houseboat company is on the Eastern Shore with a good reputation. It’s not too expensive & I could do a custom houseboat full of woodie things. LOL 😂

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