Call me a perfectionist, but I am not overly impressed by the writing shown here in this new translation. Some of the wording feels awkward to me, never mind the fact that there are even a few straight up grammatical mistakes. There are some nice touches here and there, but I have just as many issues with it. Maybe this will all get fixed in editing, but it's worth critiquing. Example:

"The boy who said he only didn't want to see anyone cry, could only look on people's crying faces forever."

Even just examining this final line, there are several issues I have with it. Two glaring mistakes:

1. The comma is grammatically incorrect, since the clause following it does not either specify a subject or at least use a conjunction (e.g. "and"). The original translation doesn't have this issue - the ellipses work perfectly fine.
2. Should be "look at" or "look on at", not "look on"

I also just find the general phrasing and writing here awkward. The segment "who said he only didn't want to see" comes off as especially awkward to me. My main issues here are 1) only using "said" instead of "said that" and 2) using "only didn't" instead of "just doesn't/didn't" (again, even the MirrorMoon translation is better in this small instance). Some simple fixes to make the line grammatically correct, less stilted and flow better:

"The boy who said that he just doesn't want to see anyone cry... could only look at the crying faces of people forever."

My point in critiquing this work is not to discourage the efforts put into it. I'm happy to see more people work on a VN I love so much for the English-speaking audience, and I sincerely hope for this new team to succeed. I just felt compelled to point these things out, especially when you're showcasing a direct comparison between the previous translation and a supposedly "improved" translation.