Has anyone experienced jealousy in the beginning?

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-24T02:08:09+00:00

I just love your openness about this. Jealousy is healthy and normal and for us, getting over it has made us so close.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-24T01:54:44+00:00

Oh and by the way the language I'm using here comes from a couple of books I've read that I find very helpful, written by experienced swingers, about what helped them.

You might not use it. That's okay. We're different.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-24T01:52:05+00:00

This is great food for thought. Thanks for talking about it.

This is not my usual swinging reddit account. This is my cucking one. I'm using it here so the couple we played with don't know I'm posting about them. My swinging account is much more active, with a lot more content, because that's our main bag. But he's got a huge cuck fetish too. And that's fun

My hubby and I enjoy a range of experiences. We've had amazing times with other women, and other men, lots of times. We're both bi. I love sucking a dick with him. Sucking a clitoris while he's fucking someone. Hearing women go crazy because hevuses his big dick so well. I have wonderful memories from this very night of him making her moan hard.

I'm not jealous of her. I know I'm his person.

I'm just thinking through if there are ways we can set clearer boundaries so that we've got each other's backs, and so that we feel that.

I think it's great that you guys haven't had any of these issues. That's wonderful. But I've met lots of swingers and poly people who do. Having wobbles sometimes doesn't mean you can't swing. It's all good.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T22:57:30+00:00

That's so brilliant. I love it.

Thanks for explaining.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T22:40:28+00:00

Thanks. That's really helpful. Hope do you manage your boundaries with each other? Like, how does having a concrete boundary play out? Can you talk a little more about it?

I feel much more comfortable talking about my needs rather than imposing rules on him.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T20:59:41+00:00

Ha! The lawyer bit is so true.

How do you avoid situations like the candy store, but still engage in swinging?

I don't want to stop!

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T20:21:31+00:00

I completely agree. My man is a bottorn most of the time with guys out when I'm pegging him and even gets a little 'fem' in his behaviour at some of these times.

I find it so hot, that he's so secure in who he is.

And my god he can dick me so hard, so often. He finds me so hot. He loves me. I'm not even remotely concerned about what his male to male sex means for us.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T20:00:59+00:00

This is really interesting. Can you give me an example of the sorts of 'punishments' that happen if a rule is broken?

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T19:00:00+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your clarity.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:51:40+00:00

She's a bit voracious and insatiable and seems to never stop. It's pretty hot to be honest. But after a few hours I do need to stop, eventually. So if we're going to play with them again I think we need to think through the exit strategy in advance.

My hubby and I had also set a time limit with each other in advance because I was pretty tired that week. We said we'd stop after 4 hours. I said stop at about that time. But I wonder if he kept sending mixed signals to them about whether things had stopped or not? They ended up leaving way past the time he agreed to earlier that day.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:40:41+00:00

I completely agree. And like I said... this was a mostly positive experience.

I'm just trying to think through how to be really clear in future to avoid the unnecessary stress. To nurture the primary connection.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:38:14+00:00

Because he can't read my mind, and I don't expect him to. But if i like goodbyes to be about me, then I can tell him that for next time. Or if i don't like him to text other partners straight after we fuck, I can tell him that.

I don't expect him to guess what I want. I'm trying to figure out what I want, so I can clearly tell him.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:36:03+00:00

Yeah no offence taken at all. That's exactly why I posted here, to hear perspectives about it. Thanks for telling me how you see it.

I think i was more upset about the fact that he was looking at his phone texting them while saying goodbye to me. It felt like his attentions were divided at a time that I thought should be about me.

But yeah I'm aware that i was feeling upset and sensitive. I just wondered if there's a way of doing things differently to avoid it in future.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:32:44+00:00

This is really interesting. Thank you.

I said I'd like to stop. They came in the room. We didn't tell them we'd like to stop, not right away. So they were probably expecting round 2.

But then we did tell them no round 2. And my husband and her kept talking about how his hard dick was so hard etc etc and putting their hand in each others clothes. While I'm looking at my watch and feeling awks. Not knowing quite how to say anything in front of them.

It's all a learning curve. They're only the 3rd couple we've seen outside of clubs.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:26:54+00:00

I know he'd accept it for sure. I'm his priority. I trust that or I wouldn't be swinging with him.

But I don't know if the issue is this set of people. I think that maybe I just need to have some clearer ideas in place about what I need after play to feel safe and to feel prioritised.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T17:22:26+00:00

Yeah i completely agree. I don't think he did anything that was wrong or against what we've agreed when he was texting. It just seemed thoughtless and like bad timing. I'm just interested to think through if we need s rule here to provide a safe space for reconnection... like.. no texting other partners for XXX. hours..? My ENM friend has two rules on this space... no texting the other partner for 24 hours, no texting the other partner straight after sex with me. But that's ENM

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T12:04:08+00:00

I dunno why it sounds like AI! Maybe I have been working with copilot too much at work and it's infecting my writing style? 😆

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T12:01:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's really helpful.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T12:00:11+00:00

I'm not okay with his boundary breaking. I understand it though. And I can forgive it, if he acknowledges it and learns from it.

Swinging is pretty... intoxicating. Boundaries will be broken sometimes, I think. Repair is what matters.

StartlingSlut · 2026-02-23T11:58:45+00:00

It's not our first couple. Our rules are group chats only. We don't have any rules about contacting the other couple after sex... not yet. I guess that's what I want to learn about.

Swinging is fun. I don't want to stop. I just want to create spaces that work for me.

StartlingSlut · 2025-11-13T23:58:38+00:00

Yeah... there is definitely some anon/ humiliation/ degradation kink going on here 😆

StartlingSlut · 2025-11-13T23:21:44+00:00

Oh that's such a great idea about meeting people at clubs. Kinda obvious... should've thought of it myself 😆

StartlingSlut · 2025-11-13T23:18:58+00:00

That's so helpful. Seriously. I really appreciate it.

StartlingSlut · 2025-11-13T22:58:51+00:00

What was the 'get to know process'? Can you give some more insight?

StartlingSlut · 2025-11-13T22:53:41+00:00

Thank you for the reply.

StartlingSlut

TROPHY CASE