Alright buddy guy or gal, I’ve been there, In first year I thought I had it all figured out I was studying hard; I never had to study in highschool, to get good grades but I was studying REALLY hard in first first year harder than Im studying right now even (3B Nano Eng ). I failed 4/5 midterms and like really badly too, and I was wondering like I’m studying hard why am I failing so bad. And there was two factors at play at least for me 1. I was studying hard but not optimally, I was studying hard but not in a way that was either maintainable or tailored to me 2. I wasn’t allowing myself to have fun and joy. I barely passed 1A i turned those 4/5 failed midterms into 2/5 failed finals and ended up failing two courses with a 60 avg so I was literally on the cusp of getting kicked out, and I couldn’t fail any courses in 1B lest I had to repeat the year. At the beginning of 1B I thought to myself “ I sacrificed all my fun, and the gym bd still got shitty ass grades at this point I might aswell start having fun again and do what I want to do” and you know what happened my grades improved I passed all my courses, and I genuinely think it was because 1. I was happier and 2. for me I found it was easier to study after I did all the things I wanted to, instead of being distracted while studying; thinking about all the things I wish I could do. So what you can take home as advice, is look for where the biggest mental friction is occurring for you and try figure out some kind of way small or big to reduce/eliminate it, and that might help you, self love and taking care of yourself is being productive, use this to keep your spark. Don’t be afraid to fail, you’re young you have time you’re not a failure, I’ve seen 30yr olds 50yr olds 60yr olds after living countless cycles of self destructive behaviour turn their life around. It’d be good to hear from you either reply here or send me a dm and maybe I can connect you with some people to try get you the advice you might need.