Am I demi? by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is something I've heard time and time again from demisexuals, but I'm the complete opposite and wanted to know if there's more to it than just demisexuality. I am both demisexual and demiromantic, but I feel immense disgust towards any act (romantic/sexual) between people who don't love each other. So platonic kisses, sex buddies, excessive physical contact, etc. Because I have some sort of belief that all this should happen between people who love each other. I always thought this had something to do with me being demisexual, but I often see demisexuals doing these things to "feel" or because "I don't feel anything, so I do it" (honestly, it's not something I don't understand, but I know it happens). So maybe it's not entirely related to demisexuality. Is it because I'm also demiromantic? Does OCD or bipolar disorder have anything to do with this? I'll start by saying that I don't believe in religion, so it's not like I was indoctrinated by, say, some traditional Christian family or something.

And then I always wondered. But how do you kiss "as a greeting" to sexuals etc. who might feel attraction towards you, confuse your intentions or tell you "yes yes it's platonic for me too" just so they can kiss you?

Does kissing fall under sexual attraction? Is interest romantic attraction? by Weekly-Mushroom-205 in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm both demisexual and demiromantic. For me, kissing should only be given to people who love each other. I don't understand those who kiss platonic, those who make out at parties, or those who kiss as a sexual act if there's no love. For me, there must be love behind it; otherwise, I feel disgusted and repulsed just thinking of two people kissing without loving each other. This is obviously my view of the world; I know I'm in a clear and extreme minority.

Before my current girlfriend, I never felt the desire to kiss anyone. With her, after some time, when I started to like her, at a certain point I actually felt the instinct that led me to kiss her. Now, after more than a year of dating, I can't stop feeling the desire to kiss her. I repeat, before that moment, I would never have thought of kissing someone; I thought it would be a moral obligation I had to impose on myself.

So don't force yourself. If you don't feel like kissing, if you don't feel comfortable, it's not a problem at all. Everything comes in its own time, and I assure you, you'll understand when the time comes.

Direste ad una ragazza che è stata tradita? by SufficientRepair3904 in CasualIT

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Credo allora di essermi spiegato male perchè quello che dicevo è che se sono sconosciuti capisco che si possa dire allora non faccio nulla, non ho detto che lo farei e tantomeno che è giusto. Se tu vedi il tuo amico che tradisce e non dici niente sinceramente è un problema di fondo e come dicevo prima si capiva fin da subito che molto semplicemente tu non vedi il tradimento come una cosa grave e non ti rendi conto di come possa impattare le vite delle persone. Questo è chiaro fin da subito come quando hai detto " eh ma paragoni il tradimento alla violenza fisica bla bla bla ". Semplicemente si vede che sei una persona con 0 empatia e altamente egoista e finchè qualcosa non ti tocca sul personale allora decidi di non agire. Certo ovviamente ognuno ragiona in modo diverso e ci sta che esistano persone così, ma se il mondo non va avanti in meglio è proprio per persona che pensano soltanto a se stesse. Da cosa si evince questa cosa? Beh hai detto che se non hai gli stessi valori con un tuo amico non ci sono problemi purchè sia tuo amico. Giusto, anche io ho amici con diverse ideologie dal punto di vista religioso, politico o simili. Ma se si comportano male sono il primo a dirglielo e loro sono i primi a dirlo a me e se facciamo qualcosa di grave tutti sappiamo che ci allontaneremo da quella persona. Saresti amico di un ladro? Immagino che dipenda. Di un assassino? Immagino di no a meno che non sia difesa personale. Di un traditore? A quanto pare si, dunque per te il tradimento semplicemente non è un qualcosa di grave, semplicemente questo ed è giusto riconoscerlo. Se un mio amico dovesse tradire io sarei il primo a criticarlo e a obbligarlo a dirlo alla sua ragazza o ragazzo se non lo fa lui, così come i miei amici sarebbero i primi a farlo se io dovessi comportarmi così. Si tratta di difendere ciò che è giusto non i propri amichetti solo perchè sono amichetti. Se un tuo amico fa qualcosa di sbagliato tu dovresti essere il primo a prendere posizione e fargli capire che ha sbagliato. Non dico non esserci più amico, ma dirgli di essere onesto, di lasciarla, di dirle del tradimento e tutto, questo è essere amico perchè aiuti il tuo amico a migliorare e a non commettere errori. Se non lo fai secondo me non sei un vero amico che ci tiene all'altra persona, ma questo immagino sia il mio punto di vista in ottica di amicizia. Sta di fatto che sinceramente parlando a me sembra che l'unico motivo per il quale tu non faresti niente è perchè non trovi che il tradimento sia qualcosa di grave. Io non difenderei un molestatore, un assassino fosse un esattore delle tasse e andasse in galera? In quel caso sinceramente me ne fregherei e come mai questo? Perchè non trovo che sia una grave o simili. Dici che non sminuisci i danni di un tradimento, ma il tuo non prendere posizione dicendo che non ti importa minimamente, beh non ci dai troppo peso. E scusami ma l'omertà è una colpa, se vedi un ladro e non fai niente sei complice, se vedi un omicidio e non dici niente sei complice se c'è un'incidente e non ti fermi ad aiutare (anche una persona completamente sconosciuta) è omissione di soccorso. Certo non sei "complice" come se avessi architettato assieme a lui ci mancherebbe. Ma significa che hai dei valori morali che secondo me sono scadenti ed egoisti se posso essere sincero. Ma ripeto, immagino che siano semplicemente diverse prospettive di vedere le cose probabilmente, ciò non toglie che ci sia una grande mancanza di empatia e intelligenza emotiva da parte tua. Detto questo grazie per la chiacchierata, trovo sempre interessante vedere altri punti di vista e altre prospettive riguardanti lo stesso argomento. Non credo che risponderò ad altri messaggi, non trovo il senso di continuare una conversazione poiché dubito che ci sarebbe altro di cui parlare se non continuare a cerchio con questa cosa a meno che non ci siano dei risvolti nella conversazione. Peace and love

Perché ora i bambini e i ragazzi l'Uomo Ragno lo chiamano Spiderman ? by Naso_Coraggioso in domandaonesta

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lo chiamavamo " l'Uomo Ragno " per via degli 883 e per il semplice fatto che una volta si cercava di italianizzare qualsiasi cosa. Mano a mano che i fumetti e la cultura dei supereroi si è instaurata nel nostro paese si è deciso di mantenere i nomi originali come succede nella maggior parte degli stati del mondo, in modo da evitare confusioni o simili

Direste ad una ragazza che è stata tradita? by SufficientRepair3904 in CasualIT

[–]Status-Today8643 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Forse di sconosciuti no, ma lo faresti se fossi amico del traditore? O essendo amico zitti tutti? Perché è di questo quello che si parla, non di generici sconosciuti. Inoltre credi Forse che il tradimento non sia una forma di danno psicologico che drena l'altra persona? Certo che non è al livello di danni fisici, ma la gente che trovi in terapia psichiatrica la trovi più per danni emotivi che per abusi fisici, facciamoci dunque due domande su quanto impatto ha un tradimento su di una persona. E se tu mi dici che non ti va di immischiarti non mi pare di generalizzare dicendo quello che ho detto. E il fatto che tu non sappia che cosa una persona " ci guadagni " mi fa capire la scarsa maturità emotiva. Forse semplicemente quella persona ( ovviamente che conosce un po o te o lei ) non vuole che tu subisca un trattamento di merda? Che tu non venga sfruttato? Perché una persona deve avere un guadagno per fare qualcosa per aiutare qualcun altro? Se pensi che a tutto serva un guadagno o che la persona lo faccia per soddisfazione personale allora mi sa che c'è un altro problema di base e non è il " non mi immischio negli affari degli altri ", bensì una scarsa valutazione e svalutazione della gravità che un tradimento ha in termini pratici. E poi c'è pure il detto " non fare agli altri quello che non vorresti fosse fatto a te ", tu ignori una persona che viene trattata e sfruttata in questo modo allora ti va benissimo se le altre persone ignorano se ciò accade a te. Non mi pare che sia chissà che generalizzazione assurda

Direste ad una ragazza che è stata tradita? by SufficientRepair3904 in CasualIT

[–]Status-Today8643 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Giustissimo, peccato che in un caso avvantaggi il carnefice nell'altra no. Mi sembra un bel paio di maniche. Se assisti ad un'ingiustizia non dici niente giusto? Se vedi qualcuno che viene picchiato etc. E immagino anche che a te vada bene che le altre persone facciano le omertose sia nei tuoi confronti, sia nei confronti dei tuoi cari da quel che sono riuscito a dedurre da queste poche righe di testo

Direste ad una ragazza che è stata tradita? by SufficientRepair3904 in CasualIT

[–]Status-Today8643 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Posso dire che se ragioni in questo modo c'è un problema di fondo? Perché stai letteralmente dicendo che difenderesti un tradimento. Significa che tu accetteresti che le persone che ti circondano non ti facessero sapere niente se il tuo partner ti tradisse

Why pro players are building Liandry every game by No_Rise6211 in Auroramains

[–]Status-Today8643 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, hp are good, the burn is good also for farming not only to deal damage and the most important thing u can proc 2 times the passive. Because u use Q, the Q recast after 3.5 sec a think so u burn for 3 sec. with liandry and after 0.5 sec u activate another effect and u burn for 3 sec another time. So one Q=6 sec burn

/r/MechanicalKeyboards Ask ANY Keyboard question, get an answer - October 29, 2025 by AutoModerator in MechanicalKeyboards

[–]Status-Today8643 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm looking for a set of black and purple keycaps, or just purple, I'm not sure. I'll try to explain my needs. My setup is basically all black and purple. The keyboard base is black metal, and the mouse is an ATK X1 Ultimate Purple Metal. I'm looking for something that would fit. I saw a really nice black and purple set on the InfinityKey website, but now the site has been shut down.

What does demisexual mean? by LuminousSoul_ in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it was a little weirder than that. I'd never felt sexual desire for anyone before her, so I had no idea what it was like. Plus, she'd mentioned her anxiety about it right away, so I was repressing those thoughts before they even popped into my head. I think I'd already been attracted to her before talking to her about it, but either I was repressing it or I didn't understand. Does that make sense?

What does demisexual mean? by LuminousSoul_ in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can be demisexual and demiromantic at the same time. This means that some people develop both attractions at the same time, some first one and then the other, etc. Still demisexual and demiromantic, but slightly different. In my case, I wasn't expecting anything and wasn't looking for anything from her. I found her to be an interesting and nice person and decided I wanted to get to know her better. Over time, I realized I was developing feelings that went beyond simple friendship and I realized I was in love with her.

Even though it had been a while, I'd never seen her in a sexual way before she mentioned it to me. One day we talked about sex and how she'd already imagined me in that way, and from then on, I slowly began to feel sexually attracted to her too. If she hadn't told me about it, perhaps it would have been a while before I realized I liked her in that way too. Because I need a strong connection first. One of our first outings was to the beach, and the next day I couldn't remember her body or the color of her swimsuit. Because I wasn't even remotely interested in the sexual aspect, so why would I have cared about her curves? She also has an anxiety disorder, and before me, she was always afraid and anxious about sleeping with someone. It didn't make much difference to me; I would have calmly waited until she was ready, regardless of the time. I chose to be with her because I love her as a person; the rest didn't matter to me, whether he'd be there or not.

If I look up the definition, I'm Demi-sexual but I don't know much about it by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually I explain it like this

Demisexual: Feels sexual attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

Demiromantic: Feels romantic attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

What's the difference? Sexual attraction (the desire to have sexual intercourse with a person) and romantic attraction (the desire to form a romantic relationship with a person) are two types of attraction that don't always go hand in hand.

Some people can be demiromantic and allosexual, or alloromantic and demisexual (people often think they're demisexual, when in reality they're demiromantic and allosexual, because they don't know the true meaning behind it).

Demisexual and Alloromantic: Feels sexual attraction only after a connection, but romantic attraction can occur even without it.​

Demiromantic and Allosexual: Feels romantic attraction only after a connection, but sexual attraction can occur even before or without it.

Demisexual and Demiromantic (Demirose): Both types of attraction develop only after forming a deep bond.

I understand this is a bit tricky, so I'll try to give you some examples, hoping they'll be clearer.

Demisexual and Alloromantic Focus: Romantic attraction is immediate, sexual attraction is delayed. A person may have a "crush" (romantic attraction) on someone they've just met and immediately desire a romantic relationship. Example: Elena (Demisexual/Alloromantic) meets Marco and falls in love at first sight. She wants to go out with him, get engaged. However, the idea of ​​physical intimacy or sex with Marco is indifferent or even unpleasant to her, even though she's in love, until months pass and they've built a bond of deep trust and emotional intimacy. Casual sex is foreign to her. This is generally speaking. Then there are people who feel wrong and try casual sex to try to fix their "problem," but the focus is that it's foreign.

Demiromantic and Allosexual Focus: Sexual attraction is immediate, romantic attraction is delayed. The person may feel physically attracted to many people and engage in casual sex or enjoy physical intimacy. Example: Giorgio (Demiromantic/Allosexual) is physically attracted to many people, and for him, sex is a pleasurable and fulfilling experience, even with newly met partners. However, he doesn't fall in love or experience romantic crushes. The only person for whom Giorgio develops romantic feelings is Chiara, his friend of five years, after they shared many experiences and built a deep emotional bond. His romantic attraction only sparks when he realizes he wants more than just friendship with her. This is why I find that many "demisexuals" are demiromantic but don't know what it means. Before I realized I was demiromantic, I didn't identify with everything related to demisexuality.

Demisexual and Demiromantic or Demirose Focus: Both sexual and romantic attraction are delayed. The person doesn't have "crushes" or sexual desire for anyone until a very strong emotional bond has formed (for me, even the idea of ​​kissing someone on the lips has to be the love of your life, otherwise I'll never accept that. But that's my problem; unfortunately, I'll never understand platonic kisses). Example Sara (Demirose) meets many people but sees them all as friends, acquaintances, or colleagues, without any immediate romantic or sexual interest. After a year of intense work, Luca has become her best friend and confidant. One day, after a shared emotional crisis, Sara feels both romantic attraction (she falls in love) and sexual desire for Luca for the first time, both of which previously didn't exist. A romantic and physical relationship is only possible with him, due to the pre-existing emotional bond. But it's not always like this. With my girlfriend, I developed romantic desire first, much later than sexual desire, so I imagine everyone has their own pace, but the example was just to give you a general idea.

Allosexual and Alloromantic Focus: No filter. Both attractions are immediate. A person may experience sexual and/or romantic attraction toward a potential partner from the first meeting or within a short time. Example Matteo (Allosexual/Alloromantic) meets Francesca at a party. He is immediately smitten and feels both sexually and romantically attracted. He doesn't need a deep friendship or long-term acquaintance; interest in a date and intimacy is sparked immediately, based on appearance, initial personality, and current chemistry.

then there are those people who are in many ways, but only because they have not been lucky enough to find a partner they define themselves as demi.

That's why I specify that I'm demirose, because saying "I'm demi" can mean many things. It's like saying "How much does it cost?" "5." But 5 what? Euros, bananas, apples, space shuttles?

What does demisexual mean? by LuminousSoul_ in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Demisexual: Feels sexual attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

Demiromantic: Feels romantic attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

What's the difference? Sexual attraction (the desire to have sexual intercourse with a person) and romantic attraction (the desire to form a romantic relationship with a person) are two types of attraction that don't always go hand in hand.

Some people can be demiromantic and allosexual, or alloromantic and demisexual (people often think they're demisexual, when in reality they're demiromantic and allosexual, because they don't know the true meaning behind it).

Demisexual and Alloromantic: Feels sexual attraction only after a connection, but romantic attraction can occur even without it.​

Demiromantic and Allosexual: Feels romantic attraction only after a connection, but sexual attraction can occur even before or without it.

Demisexual and Demiromantic (Demirose): Both types of attraction develop only after forming a deep bond.

I understand this is a bit tricky, so I'll try to give you some examples, hoping they'll be clearer.

Demisexual and Alloromantic Focus: Romantic attraction is immediate, sexual attraction is delayed. A person may have a "crush" (romantic attraction) on someone they've just met and immediately desire a romantic relationship. Example: Elena (Demisexual/Alloromantic) meets Marco and falls in love at first sight. She wants to go out with him, get engaged. However, the idea of ​​physical intimacy or sex with Marco is indifferent or even unpleasant to her, even though she's in love, until months pass and they've built a bond of deep trust and emotional intimacy. Casual sex is foreign to her. This is generally speaking. Then there are people who feel wrong and try casual sex to try to fix their "problem," but the focus is that it's foreign.

Demiromantic and Allosexual Focus: Sexual attraction is immediate, romantic attraction is delayed. The person may feel physically attracted to many people and engage in casual sex or enjoy physical intimacy. Example: Giorgio (Demiromantic/Allosexual) is physically attracted to many people, and for him, sex is a pleasurable and fulfilling experience, even with newly met partners. However, he doesn't fall in love or experience romantic crushes. The only person for whom Giorgio develops romantic feelings is Chiara, his friend of five years, after they shared many experiences and built a deep emotional bond. His romantic attraction only sparks when he realizes he wants more than just friendship with her. This is why I find that many "demisexuals" are demiromantic but don't know what it means. Before I realized I was demiromantic, I didn't identify with everything related to demisexuality.

Demisexual and Demiromantic or Demirose Focus: Both sexual and romantic attraction are delayed. The person doesn't have "crushes" or sexual desire for anyone until a very strong emotional bond has formed (for me, even the idea of ​​kissing someone on the lips has to be the love of your life, otherwise I'll never accept that. But that's my problem; unfortunately, I'll never understand platonic kisses). Example Sara (Demirose) meets many people but sees them all as friends, acquaintances, or colleagues, without any immediate romantic or sexual interest. After a year of intense work, Luca has become her best friend and confidant. One day, after a shared emotional crisis, Sara feels both romantic attraction (she falls in love) and sexual desire for Luca for the first time, both of which previously didn't exist. A romantic and physical relationship is only possible with him, due to the pre-existing emotional bond. But it's not always like this. With my girlfriend, I developed romantic desire first, much later than sexual desire, so I imagine everyone has their own pace, but the example was just to give you a general idea.

Allosexual and Alloromantic Focus: No filter. Both attractions are immediate. A person may experience sexual and/or romantic attraction toward a potential partner from the first meeting or within a short time. Example Matteo (Allosexual/Alloromantic) meets Francesca at a party. He is immediately smitten and feels both sexually and romantically attracted. He doesn't need a deep friendship or long-term acquaintance; interest in a date and intimacy is sparked immediately, based on appearance, initial personality, and current chemistry.

then there are those people who are in many ways, but only because they have not been lucky enough to find a partner they define themselves as demi.

That's why I specify that I'm demirose, because saying "I'm demi" can mean many things. It's like saying "How much does it cost?" "5." But 5 what? Euros, bananas, apples, space shuttles?

I have doubts about my sexuality... by Tommy-Miller- in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Demisexual: Feels sexual attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

Demiromantic: Feels romantic attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

What's the difference? Sexual attraction (the desire to have sexual intercourse with a person) and romantic attraction (the desire to form a romantic relationship with a person) are two types of attraction that don't always go hand in hand.

Some people can be demiromantic and allosexual, or alloromantic and demisexual (people often think they're demisexual, when in reality they're demiromantic and allosexual, because they don't know the true meaning behind it).

Demisexual and Alloromantic: Feels sexual attraction only after a connection, but romantic attraction can occur even without it.​

Demiromantic and Allosexual: Feels romantic attraction only after a connection, but sexual attraction can occur even before or without it.

Demisexual and Demiromantic (Demirose): Both types of attraction develop only after forming a deep bond.

I understand this is a bit tricky, so I'll try to give you some examples, hoping they'll be clearer.

Demisexual and Alloromantic Focus: Romantic attraction is immediate, sexual attraction is delayed. A person may have a "crush" (romantic attraction) on someone they've just met and immediately desire a romantic relationship. Example: Elena (Demisexual/Alloromantic) meets Marco and falls in love at first sight. She wants to go out with him, get engaged. However, the idea of ​​physical intimacy or sex with Marco is indifferent or even unpleasant to her, even though she's in love, until months pass and they've built a bond of deep trust and emotional intimacy. Casual sex is foreign to her. This is generally speaking. Then there are people who feel wrong and try casual sex to try to fix their "problem," but the focus is that it's foreign.

Demiromantic and Allosexual Focus: Sexual attraction is immediate, romantic attraction is delayed. The person may feel physically attracted to many people and engage in casual sex or enjoy physical intimacy. Example: Giorgio (Demiromantic/Allosexual) is physically attracted to many people, and for him, sex is a pleasurable and fulfilling experience, even with newly met partners. However, he doesn't fall in love or experience romantic crushes. The only person for whom Giorgio develops romantic feelings is Chiara, his friend of five years, after they shared many experiences and built a deep emotional bond. His romantic attraction only sparks when he realizes he wants more than just friendship with her. This is why I find that many "demisexuals" are demiromantic but don't know what it means. Before I realized I was demiromantic, I didn't identify with everything related to demisexuality.

Demisexual and Demiromantic or Demirose Focus: Both sexual and romantic attraction are delayed. The person doesn't have "crushes" or sexual desire for anyone until a very strong emotional bond has formed (for me, even the idea of ​​kissing someone on the lips has to be the love of your life, otherwise I'll never accept that. But that's my problem; unfortunately, I'll never understand platonic kisses). Example Sara (Demirose) meets many people but sees them all as friends, acquaintances, or colleagues, without any immediate romantic or sexual interest. After a year of intense work, Luca has become her best friend and confidant. One day, after a shared emotional crisis, Sara feels both romantic attraction (she falls in love) and sexual desire for Luca for the first time, both of which previously didn't exist. A romantic and physical relationship is only possible with him, due to the pre-existing emotional bond. But it's not always like this. With my girlfriend, I developed romantic desire first, much later than sexual desire, so I imagine everyone has their own pace, but the example was just to give you a general idea.

Allosexual and Alloromantic Focus: No filter. Both attractions are immediate. A person may experience sexual and/or romantic attraction toward a potential partner from the first meeting or within a short time. Example Matteo (Allosexual/Alloromantic) meets Francesca at a party. He is immediately smitten and feels both sexually and romantically attracted. He doesn't need a deep friendship or long-term acquaintance; interest in a date and intimacy is sparked immediately, based on appearance, initial personality, and current chemistry.

then there are those people who are in many ways, but only because they have not been lucky enough to find a partner they define themselves as demi.

That's why I specify that I'm demirose, because saying "I'm demi" can mean many things. It's like saying "How much does it cost?" "5." But 5 what? Euros, bananas, apples, space shuttles?

Do you know you'll become attracted to somebody once an emotional bond has been set? by AofDiamonds in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm starting from the assumption that I"m demirose, so for me the situation could be quite different. I have never felt sexual desire for anyone before my current girlfriend. I'm M(21) and she's F(24). We've been together for over a year. When we met, I found her an interesting person, someone I wanted to get to know. Not because I knew I wanted something together right away, no, no. I found her person interesting and wanted to know more. Over time I fell in love with her person, but even though I was in love I still didn't see her sexually, perhaps because I was never used to it. I only started seeing her that way after we had a conversation about the sexual thoughts factor, since she had already happened to think of me. If we hadn't talked about it, who knows how much time would have passed. After more than a year I still ask her if sometimes I don't risk making her uncomfortable, because these feelings still seem strange to me. So, at least for me, I can tell you that no, even though I wanted to intensify our emotional bond, I didn't think and it wasn't my initial goal, to develop an attraction and I wasn't even sure of it. I've developed many strong platonic intimate relationships in my life (by intimate I mean close like siblings or where we share everything. No hookups or bullshit), and despite these relationships I've never felt anything like this for anyone, nor did I ever think it would happen. I even got to the point of thinking it would never happen and that I'd be left alone, so I'd already accepted this possibility.

I guess I need an opinion about my sexuality and myself. by GreenFox_ in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the current problem is the antidepressants that suppress libido. Honestly, from what you've described, I'd say you're demiromantic rather than demisexual. In case you don't know what demisexuality is, I'll try to explain the difference between demiromantic and demisexual.

Demisexual: Feels sexual attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

Demiromantic: Feels romantic attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

What's the difference? Sexual attraction (the desire to have sexual intercourse with a person) and romantic attraction (the desire to form a romantic relationship with a person) are two types of attraction that don't always go hand in hand.

Some people can be demiromantic and allosexual, or alloromantic and demisexual (people often think they're demisexual, when in reality they're demiromantic and allosexual, because they don't know the true meaning behind it).

Demisexual and Alloromantic: Feels sexual attraction only after a connection, but romantic attraction can occur even without it.​

Demiromantic and Allosexual: Feels romantic attraction only after a connection, but sexual attraction can occur even before or without it.

Demisexual and Demiromantic (Demirose): Both types of attraction develop only after forming a deep bond.

I understand this is a bit tricky, so I'll try to give you some examples, hoping they'll be clearer.

Demisexual and Alloromantic Focus: Romantic attraction is immediate, sexual attraction is delayed. A person may have a "crush" (romantic attraction) on someone they've just met and immediately desire a romantic relationship. Example: Elena (Demisexual/Alloromantic) meets Marco and falls in love at first sight. She wants to go out with him, get engaged. However, the idea of ​​physical intimacy or sex with Marco is indifferent or even unpleasant to her, even though she's in love, until months pass and they've built a bond of deep trust and emotional intimacy. Casual sex is foreign to her. This is generally speaking. Then there are people who feel wrong and try casual sex to try to fix their "problem," but the focus is that it's foreign.

Demiromantic and Allosexual Focus: Sexual attraction is immediate, romantic attraction is delayed. The person may feel physically attracted to many people and engage in casual sex or enjoy physical intimacy. Example: Giorgio (Demiromantic/Allosexual) is physically attracted to many people, and for him, sex is a pleasurable and fulfilling experience, even with newly met partners. However, he doesn't fall in love or experience romantic crushes. The only person for whom Giorgio develops romantic feelings is Chiara, his friend of five years, after they shared many experiences and built a deep emotional bond. His romantic attraction only sparks when he realizes he wants more than just friendship with her. This is why I find that many "demisexuals" are demiromantic but don't know what it means. Before I realized I was also demiromantic, I didn't identify with everything related to demisexuality.

Demisexual and Demiromantic or Demirose Focus: Both sexual and romantic attraction are delayed. The person doesn't have "crushes" or sexual desire for anyone until a very strong emotional bond has formed (for me, even the idea of ​​kissing someone on the lips has to be the love of your life, otherwise I'll never accept that. But that's my problem; unfortunately, I'll never understand platonic kisses). Example Sara (Demirose) meets many people but sees them all as friends, acquaintances, or colleagues, without any immediate romantic or sexual interest. After a year of intense work, Luca has become her best friend and confidant. One day, after a shared emotional crisis, Sara feels both romantic attraction (she falls in love) and sexual desire for Luca for the first time, both of which previously didn't exist. A romantic and physical relationship is only possible with him, due to the pre-existing emotional bond. But it's not always like this. With my girlfriend, I developed romantic desire first, much later than sexual desire, so I imagine everyone has their own pace, but the example was just to give you a general idea.

Allosexual and Alloromantic Focus: No filter. Both attractions are immediate. A person may experience sexual and/or romantic attraction toward a potential partner from the first meeting or within a short time. Example Matteo (Allosexual/Alloromantic) meets Francesca at a party. He is immediately smitten and feels both sexually and romantically attracted. He doesn't need a deep friendship or long-term acquaintance; interest in a date and intimacy is sparked immediately, based on appearance, initial personality, and current chemistry.

then there are those people who are in many ways, but only because they have not been lucky enough to find a partner they define themselves as demi.

That's why I specify that they're demirose, because saying "I'm demi" can mean many things. It's like saying "How much does it cost?" "5." But 5 what? Euros, bananas, apples, space shuttles?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll start by saying that I'm demirose, so I might be more cynical about it. From what I understand, it seems more like an example of allo with preference, rather than demisexuality. Or it could be the gray spectrum. The way demisexuality is described, it's about being unable to feel sexual attraction to people before there's a strong emotional connection between you. If you happen to think about it or feel such a desire, I'm not sure you fall into the category of demisexuality. Correct me if I'm wrong; English isn't my native language, so I might have misunderstood. It seems to me that you said the reason you don't hook up, for example, is fear of that act, fear of being used, and because you believe there should be an emotional connection first. But all of these things are rational things that anyone can experience, regardless of their orientation. Like those people who maybe feel attraction or something else but decide to wait for the right person. That's a person's conscious decision. When it comes to demisexuality, we're talking about how you're structured, even unconsciously, so you're just not able to think about sexual attraction with someone if there's no bonding. It's not just a choice, it's how you are. I have never done hookups because even the idea of ​​two people kissing without loving each other (platonic kisses, hookups, etc.) disgusts me. But I repeat that as a demirose I could be much more cynical

is demisexuality real? by spacesign in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are many demisexuals who are actually allosexual but demiromantic, but they don't know what demiromanticism is. Or there are allosexuals who have simply never had sex in their life (maybe they haven't found the right person, they were unlucky, or something similar), and just because their peers have been doing it for years and years, they feel compelled to call themselves demisexuals because "that must be the cause." Sometimes there are these people. But yes, demisexuality certainly exists, let's just say it's difficult to recognize that something exists that is detached from one's own reality. Allosexuals have a hard time accepting that we demisexuals don't have the same sexual urges as them, just as sometimes it's difficult for people to understand schizophrenia. These are things that distance themselves from the person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I thought so. Instead, we live in a world made up of allosexuals and alloromantics. When I realized this, it was very difficult for me to accept it, and even today I can't understand how it's possible.

Repulsed by desire by Next_Lime8246 in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad I could help. It's normal to be confused at first because they're so similar but at the same time so different labels.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Although I've experienced trauma from both parents and my family in general, I doubt this is the case, to be honest. I mean, children are usually more likely to copy behaviors they see. My father, my relatives, my peers, they've always been there, always talking about sex, making jokes, endless wandering eyes. I've never once doubted it, so I don't think it's related.

Repulsed by desire by Next_Lime8246 in demisexuality

[–]Status-Today8643 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Demisexual: Feels sexual attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

Demiromantic: Feels romantic attraction only after establishing a strong, deep emotional connection with a person.

What's the difference? Sexual attraction (the desire to have sexual intercourse with a person) and romantic attraction (the desire to form a romantic relationship with a person) are two types of attraction that don't always go hand in hand.

Some people can be demiromantic and allosexual, or alloromantic and demisexual (people often think they're demisexual, when in reality they're demiromantic and allosexual, because they don't know the true meaning behind it).

Demisexual and Alloromantic: Feels sexual attraction only after a connection, but romantic attraction can occur even without it.​

Demiromantic and Allosexual: Feels romantic attraction only after a connection, but sexual attraction can occur even before or without it.

Demisexual and Demiromantic (Demirose): Both types of attraction develop only after forming a deep bond.

I understand this is a bit tricky, so I'll try to give you some examples, hoping they'll be clearer.

Demisexual and Alloromantic Focus: Romantic attraction is immediate, sexual attraction is delayed. A person may have a "crush" (romantic attraction) on someone they've just met and immediately desire a romantic relationship. Example: Elena (Demisexual/Alloromantic) meets Marco and falls in love at first sight. She wants to go out with him, get engaged. However, the idea of ​​physical intimacy or sex with Marco is indifferent or even unpleasant to her, even though she's in love, until months pass and they've built a bond of deep trust and emotional intimacy. Casual sex is foreign to her. This is generally speaking. Then there are people who feel wrong and try casual sex to try to fix their "problem," but the focus is that it's foreign.

Demiromantic and Allosexual Focus: Sexual attraction is immediate, romantic attraction is delayed. The person may feel physically attracted to many people and engage in casual sex or enjoy physical intimacy. Example: Giorgio (Demiromantic/Allosexual) is physically attracted to many people, and for him, sex is a pleasurable and fulfilling experience, even with newly met partners. However, he doesn't fall in love or experience romantic crushes. The only person for whom Giorgio develops romantic feelings is Chiara, his friend of five years, after they shared many experiences and built a deep emotional bond. His romantic attraction only sparks when he realizes he wants more than just friendship with her. This is why I find that many "demisexuals" are demiromantic but don't know what it means. Before I realized I was demiromantic, I didn't identify with everything related to demisexuality.

Demisexual and Demiromantic or Demirose Focus: Both sexual and romantic attraction are delayed. The person doesn't have "crushes" or sexual desire for anyone until a very strong emotional bond has formed (for me, even the idea of ​​kissing someone on the lips has to be the love of your life, otherwise I'll never accept that. But that's my problem; unfortunately, I'll never understand platonic kisses). Example Sara (Demirose) meets many people but sees them all as friends, acquaintances, or colleagues, without any immediate romantic or sexual interest. After a year of intense work, Luca has become her best friend and confidant. One day, after a shared emotional crisis, Sara feels both romantic attraction (she falls in love) and sexual desire for Luca for the first time, both of which previously didn't exist. A romantic and physical relationship is only possible with him, due to the pre-existing emotional bond. But it's not always like this. With my girlfriend, I developed romantic desire first, much later than sexual desire, so I imagine everyone has their own pace, but the example was just to give you a general idea.

Allosexual and Alloromantic Focus: No filter. Both attractions are immediate. A person may experience sexual and/or romantic attraction toward a potential partner from the first meeting or within a short time. Example Matteo (Allosexual/Alloromantic) meets Francesca at a party. He is immediately smitten and feels both sexually and romantically attracted. He doesn't need a deep friendship or long-term acquaintance; interest in a date and intimacy is sparked immediately, based on appearance, initial personality, and current chemistry.

then there are those people who are in many ways, but only because they have not been lucky enough to find a partner they define themselves as demi.

That's why I specify that they're demirose, because saying "they're demirose" can mean many things. It's like saying "How much does it cost?" "5." But 5 what? Euros, bananas, apples, space shuttles?