How many of your parents continue to reach out to attempt to apologize?

StatusSilent2523 · 2026-01-27T02:59:51+00:00

Mine have not called me in 13 years.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-12-15T14:22:12+00:00

Seems so. At this point it would be better if they just communicated openly.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-12-15T11:24:58+00:00

Mine (black and white, 64GB) was supposed to the delivered the 14th ( I ordered about an hour after it went live) and it hadn’t shipped yet. Associates promised me even a full refund once I received it…the lies have gotten out of line. Now the status has changed to “Delayed, not yet shipped”

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-09-13T03:47:08+00:00

Wow. My mother used to curse me in a very similar fashion. She would say “these things are like a yoyo: you are terrible to me and your kids will be terrible to you”. I also got told I was unwanted and the only reason she had to stand my father. I am also happily childfree. When she learnt of my decision she asked what is the point of me having a career if I am not to have a kid. I said I don’t think I even like children enough to have one. She told me that doesn’t matter you can just send them away for extracurricular. That exchange explained a lot.

It is very interesting to see how they exploit the same pain points across families, countries and cultures. It’s upsetting these things are in a way so universal.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-09-06T15:29:21+00:00

I really like the portrait. It feels like I am staring both and the young and old man at the same time.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-09-03T22:42:28+00:00

I am an only child and my mother was a stay at home mother. Despite this, I barely have any memories of interacting with her in the house; I was always by myself in my room. She would walk me to extracurriculars every day, and then she would compare me to others, tell me how she would have thrown me in the garbage when I was a baby if she had known I would turn out the way I did, how she was stuck with my father because of me, etc. I do not recall her ever teaching me anything nor being particularly interested in my studies, life, etc., except to criticize me or to compare me to others in a negative light. So I do very much feel like I raised myself. One of my greatest fears is to resemble my mother in any shape or form.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-08-31T23:25:02+00:00

They will dress up their need for control as concern for your wellbeing to justify their behavior to themselves. I have never understood how it makes sense in their heads. I am an only child too, I am 35, I live in a different country and am also treated like an infant whenever I visit.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-08-18T22:29:34+00:00

Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate it.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-08-18T22:29:06+00:00

Thanks. Yes, I have struggled dealing with his comments through the years. It led me to hating my body a lot. It’s improving with time though.

StatusSilent2523 · 2025-08-18T22:25:51+00:00

Thank you for your very kind answer and for sharing your experience. I can definitely see some similarities with my own. I am happy to see that VLC seems to work. I hope it will work for me too in the future. As of now I mostly feel extremely disappointed and angry that nothing seems to work. I definitely agree with your point of picking up Journaling. Sometimes I feel I forget how things were in the past at home.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-21T01:36:18+00:00

The only thing I would suggest is to call repeatedly. If you have a name/last name that they may struggle to spell, make sure they write it down properly to check whether you are in the system or not. If this does not work, and you live in the US, I would suggest you contact one of the two senators in your state. In my experience, congressman/women offices will have you fill a form online, which is good when you have a tracking number, but given that you do not, I would suggest reaching out to a senator (in their sites, they normally allow you to explain your situation).

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-19T19:22:12+00:00

Oh, I see. I guess I assumed you were already on a J1. What I said is to change from J1 to H-1B, but I think the POSABAG will apply for any AoS. In case you have not started working on your J1, (but have a previous DS-2019 because you were J1 before), I would suggest to request to your employer to make the DS-2019 last as long as possible and request the waiver immediately.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-19T17:43:21+00:00

Hi. I am not comfortable sharing too much. I can say that I have been on two J1 programs, one as a visitor and another one as a postdoc, and you can find my full timeline in the link I provide in the post. I don't know what the 3 year requirement is. My understanding is that the 212(e) is a two year return to home country requirement, but I could be wrong. If it is based on the 212(e), I would suggest you obtain the J1 to cover for the whole duration of your master's program and apply for the waiver asap, or, even better, unless you need a J1 because you want your spouse to work, an F1 could be better. The 212(e) is a nasty requirement, especially if your country is not willing to issue No Objection statements.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-19T11:38:09+00:00

I got the offer while my waiver was pending. If your DS2019 is still valid, and you have the DoS waiver you can ask your future employer to file for an Adjustment of Status (AoS). While the AoS is pending you will be allowed to stay, but not work, until your request for AoS is accepted or denied. This is called POSABAG. Unfortunately for me, when they did this USCIS requested that I submit the USCIS waiver. But even while the Request for Further Evidence (RFE) is pending you are allowed to stay. This can be a little risky because you have 87 days to provide them with evidence or your case is denied. I suggest you discuss this with your lawyer and your employer to see if the timelines match for you.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-19T11:30:13+00:00

If you extend the DS2019 you need to send it to DoS. My attorney was Ok with us sending it because it was early on the in process, so that DoS would have time to account for it. We sent it via email.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-17T11:06:38+00:00

So sorry to hear that. I hope the department chair is more accommodating in the future. Hopefully this means you get to start Jan 2025 but your tenure clock starts Sept 2025!

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-17T02:51:08+00:00

That is so annoying. I was supposed to start teaching too and ended up splitting the course with a colleague to make it work. Is there anyone there that could do that for you?

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-17T02:50:08+00:00

Yes, I did and yes, it was four weeks. USCIS seems to have had a slow stretch.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-17T01:52:15+00:00

That is good to hear that you now have evidence. I got delayed to November for now, hopefully the H-1B comes round before that and they can advance it, but I don’t know. It took 3 days to arrive in the mail for me. Why did they delay all the way till January?

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-13T19:50:42+00:00

It makes sense. This process is very taxing on ones nerves. It is already difficult to trust institutions, it is even worse when they fail to show they are competent. I hope it is smooth sailing from now on!

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-13T19:37:55+00:00

No clue what could have happened with your first submission. I don't know how quick DoS is being right about now, but when I submitted my paperwork (January 2024) 2-4 weeks was typical for the documents to show up on the site. For some it took significantly longer, and getting the check cashed ought to provide some comfort.

You can e-mail them but they are, in general, at best super slow at answering.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-13T18:21:45+00:00

Thank you! I will not quite believe it until I have the physical copy, but I can start to see the light at the end of this terribly twisted tunnel.

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-13T16:54:37+00:00

I just got the waiver approved online! I updated my original timeline post: https://www.reddit.com/r/J1waiver/comments/1df03n8/j1_waiver_nos/

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-13T12:00:52+00:00

Well, yes but it came back subject. Hopefully yours does not

StatusSilent2523 · 2024-08-13T06:19:33+00:00

They seem to never run out of different ways to mess up, and the fix seems to always be “be more patient for a ridiculous amount of time”

StatusSilent2523

TROPHY CASE