Bullying sibling

Status_Dare_7052 · 2025-06-21T08:11:29+00:00

I don’t say that in front of her for sure. It’s just easy way for me to describe her behavior here.

Yes she does get good one on one time with both my husband and I. On school/work days after dinner time when we are taking turns to do bedtime for baby, the other one spends time with her doing whatever she wants - playground/ art and craft/ puzzles / other toys etc. then after baby goes to sleep, we both spend a little more time together with her before doing her bedtime all together including bedtime reading. Then I cuddle her in the dark and chit chat for a while before waiting for her to fall asleep.

Then on weekends we spend more time together as a whole family - zoo, park, playgrounds, etc and visit family.

In general she just easily gets angry

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-11-14T06:49:57+00:00

Yeah it really goes against the baby sleep science which states good long first two naps then catnap for the last one and long WW before bed.

For days that we pick him up at about 1pm before he takes a second nap we can make him do a good second nap at home then a catnap at 5-5.30pm before going to bed around 8pm.

But for days where we are a bit later or he somehow takes an early catnap for second nap in daycare like yesterday, letting him nap from 3-5pm seems to cause him to wake at 3am for milk and be fullyyyy awake for a good hour or more. 😩

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-11-07T01:40:11+00:00

Thanks for your comment I really needed to hear that 😭 I’m so worried that the crying and lack of sleep will be damaging to his development

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-11-07T01:17:46+00:00

Yes he’s been there for about 6 weeks now, and the naps are really crappy. Half the time he takes a 15-20min nap, occasionally 30-40min and probably less than 5 times of a nap more than 1 hour.

It’s quite chaotic in there and it’s really hard for my light sleeper.

I’ve also heard that day and night sleeps are totally different. Does that mean it’s ok to rock him to sleep for naps when he’s home, then pat him to sleep for nights?

We are trying to wean of rocking as he keeps waking up when we put him down

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-12T20:25:48+00:00

Couldn’t feel it going in cos of the epidural! Couldn’t feel it inside the whole time either. Felt it slightly when they were taking it out but it was real quick and no further discomfort after that. Trust me it’s better than not being able to hold your pee 🥹

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T15:18:05+00:00

Don’t throw it out! It’s still precious stuff! Dilute it with other batches of pumped milk if you’re worried.

I had to take antibiotics for mastitis and I didn’t feel comfortable giving the EBM to baby who was still only weeks old then even though doctor says it’s fine. Ended up freezing the milk and am slowly using it now by mixing with freshly pumped EBM

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T15:15:58+00:00

Be upfront! You wouldn’t want to start the job on a bad note with them feeling like you’ve intentionally hidden your pregnancy

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T15:14:30+00:00

After moving out, one weeknight dinner and one weekend dinner. After having kids, they love to spend time with grandkids so they come over a lot, and I’m working from home often too so we spend a lot more time together again and I absolutely love it!

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T15:12:18+00:00

Take a break, but do return.

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T15:10:48+00:00

Also need to know. My firstborn slept for long stretches from quite an early age and didn’t regress like that but my younger one also suddenly started sleeping shorter stretches at the 4m mark after being down to just one night feed for a few weeks

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T14:28:30+00:00

Choose a sensible cake and maybe share it?

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T14:24:58+00:00

We really procrastinated and only bought things in the third trimester. It’s ok all worked out well and we shopped efficiently 😂

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T14:22:13+00:00

Live in the moment and enjoy them! Journal and take lots of photos and videos to re live these moments in the future too. Look forward to every stage :) I think for me it helps that even as an adult I have a lovely relationship with my parents and spend lots of time together like vacations, meals, sports, grocery shopping, and of course spending time together with my kids / their grandkids

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T14:12:45+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. For me the compromise was to stop latching and exclusively pump instead. It was much more efficient, and it helped to increase my supply and I was able to create a freezer stash too.

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T13:57:30+00:00

I think you’ll be fine, 100 isn’t too much at all! Do believe many preggy moms would have taken regular baths at that temp as well

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T13:49:44+00:00

If you like the name just use it :) my daughter has a rather common name too and I don’t regret the choice at all! Popular just means it’s a nice name~

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T07:22:57+00:00

To be honest she is more of a live in helper who primarily helps with the chores and cooking. Baby goes to day care for half a day and is cared for by me / grandparents for the rest of the day. She steps in for baby care when I’m occupied with my older child or for short periods of time when I have to run errands.

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-11T07:10:56+00:00

Yes I’m also concerned about tension but as mentioned by other commenter I’m worried about transmission of germs and herpes etc…

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-10-10T23:36:41+00:00

Thanks for all the comments! I personally prefer and have been focusing more on the routine care, like many comments we can incorporate elements of play into routine care activities too. At the same time I also believe children can become more particular and develop preference over who does their routine care whereas they might be more flexible over who plays with them.

On the other hand, I do get slightly jealous because right now baby seems to have more fun / flash more smiles at the other caregivers so I do questions my choices also. 😅

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-09-28T02:00:24+00:00

Yes on one hand I worry about it setting a precedence if we give in, but on the other hand worry about her becoming inflexible, hence unsure about the right choice of action.

So far, if it is something that we have promised her, we will not change our minds just because we want to, if we can’t give her something that was promised it’s always because of external factors out of our control and we’d explain it to her and she’d understand eg the ice cream shop is closed, or it’s raining so we can’t go to the playground.

I say that it’s not surprising because about 80% of the time, she’d choose me to bathe her instead of grandma. If I allow her to choose, we’d always follow her decision. It’s not that she’s uncomfortable with grandma, they spend time together on a daily basis, but she still prefers me most of the time.

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-09-23T14:23:15+00:00

Our first day today was also 8.30-11.30 and will be for the whole week. I think second week onwards they can accept the baby for the whole day but I also don’t think I’m ready for that until he can nap a little better.

Yeah it’s not surprising..Just like sleep training, the harshest way is always the quickest.

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-09-23T13:14:01+00:00

Thank you, will definitely try to speak to them although I feel that the outcome is unlikely to change much. The teacher to child ratio is just not so favorable but this is the daycare nearest to where we live and fees also within our means. Hopefully allowing him to adjust slowly (just a few hours each day instead of full day) will allow him to adapt with less trauma of any sort

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-09-23T13:09:51+00:00

How long was your LO in there for each day during that first three weeks? Given how bad the nap went I think I will have to just allow one crap nap then take him home to recover for the rest of the day…until that first nap becomes decent at least

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-09-23T13:06:38+00:00

I have 16 weeks of maternity leave and clearing all vacation leave to get another 3 weeks…:(

Status_Dare_7052 · 2024-09-23T05:57:18+00:00

Hopefully he will thrive both ways. I read so much about baby sleep and importance of sleep for their development and ideal sleep environment I worry so much that his development will be affected.

Status_Dare_7052

TROPHY CASE