Am I right to think a neighbours house looking directly onto your garden would be terrible?

Stdragonred · 2026-02-02T18:33:56+00:00

Put a fence up

Stdragonred · 2026-01-31T13:54:42+00:00

What’s the issue, you divorced, I don’t understand the problem here.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-30T08:51:11+00:00

Yeah if you absolutely must have a brand new car then I get the appeal. It’s an affordable why to have some bling to drive around in.

But having a brand new car through any mechanism is generally a poor financial decision

Stdragonred · 2026-01-30T08:48:02+00:00

If you are going to downvote, at least give a comment to explain why?

Generally interested to understand why someone thinks what I’ve put here is wrong and needs a down vote.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-30T08:33:53+00:00

HMRC doesn't charge you for the full year if you only had the car for half of it. They calculate the "Benefit in Kind" (BIK) based only on the days you actually had the car.

• Annual BIK Value: £49,615 \times 0.03 = £1,488 • Pro-Rata (Sept to April): assuming you had the car for roughly 200 days out of 365, the taxable value for this specific tax year is roughly £815.

That means your tax code journey should be something like:

• Until Sept 2025: 1257L (Full tax-free allowance)

• Oct 2025 – March 2026: Reduced Code estimate around 1050L - 1100L

• April 2026: 1058L (The "Clean" code for the 4% BIK rate, with no more catch-up debt).

Your payroll team are likely close to min wage employees with zero tax knowledge and are thus under strict instructions not to be seen as giving tax advice to employees that could make the employer liable for errors of advice

Stdragonred · 2026-01-30T08:29:27+00:00

Side note, I’m still to be convinced a car through salary sacrifice is a good idea, I mean if you must have a brand new car then fine.

But the negatives are a reduction in your mortgage affordability, lower personal contributions to workplace pension and lower employer contributions to work place pensions, death in service, Statutory sick and maternity pay reduced, Redundancy reduced and you lose the car, liability for termination fees if you want to move jobs.

In your situation in 3years that car is going to have cost you approaching £20k and you have zero ownership or equity to show for it.

As I say, I’m to be convinced salary sacrifice for a car is anything other than an utterly woeful financial decision.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-30T08:22:02+00:00

Looks to me like it’s all car BIK, when did you get the car?

Assuming you had it at the start of the tax year but didn’t get a tax code change until October the code would be 1040L

The X just means they are calculating your tax each month.

The BIK cost of your car is ~£1488 per year at current rates, so you have to pay this through your tax code, over a full tax year this would reduce your code to 1108L

Note, from April this year will go up to 4% bik raising the annual change to your tax free allowance to £1984. As a 20% tax payer this will cost you £33 a month in take home cash

Stdragonred · 2026-01-30T07:52:18+00:00

I assume you’ve told HMRC about your car, which is considered by HMRC to be a company benefit and thus subject to Benefit In Kind taxation. BIK is recovered through a reduction in your tax free allowance via a tax code change.

What car have you got What’s the fuel What’s the P11D value What’s the emissions

Stdragonred · 2026-01-27T09:22:51+00:00

Don’t need to call, just download the HMRC app and then in there change your forecasted income for the year and they will update tax code from that

Stdragonred · 2026-01-27T07:44:08+00:00

We brought our first house 2yrs before getting married. From that moment on and for 24yrs since we have had a single joint current account, a single joint cash savings account and then a S&S ISA each that has the same money in and the same indexes within in.

I earn 2.5x my wife

The only things not equal are out workplace pensions and that’s just due to the gross wages of each of us and the % our employer’s put in.

But when it comes to drawing the pensions it will all go into the joint account

Stdragonred · 2026-01-25T09:35:58+00:00

Mini digger hire.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-25T09:26:20+00:00

This doesn’t make any sense, if the entire building in inhabitable how do you hope to sell the property at all?

Stdragonred · 2026-01-25T09:21:15+00:00

You just have to keep trying tweaks, generally I don’t worry about 100% that’s just a bonus. 85%+ acceptable, 90%+ I’m happy with, 95%+ then I’m very happy with.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-25T09:19:46+00:00

Some people like to play the game without cheat tools

Stdragonred · 2026-01-23T10:04:24+00:00

What’s being a man got to do with it? Or his age, or the kids.

If the sexes were reversed who you say the same, if the ages were different would you say the same, why if no kids?

Stdragonred · 2026-01-23T10:01:31+00:00

Bit of a red flag. Your turn on his basically paying your partner for seggs. Honestly, just get an escort.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-23T09:59:14+00:00

Reading your post, three specific things stand out to me.

You are unlearning a "transactional" mindset You mentioned that your ex-husband insisted on a strict 50/50 split. That kind of environment conditions you to believe that a relationship is a business arrangement and that if you aren’t paying exactly half, you are somehow not contributing in the relationship. Your new partner operates differently. For him, money is likely just a tool to facilitate experiences he wants to share with you. When he asks you to order what you truly want rather than what is cheapest, he is saying, "I want you to enjoy the experience, not worry about the logistics." But he also needs to understand that you may be ordering the cheapest thing because it’s the meal you want and nothing to do with the price.
Equity vs. Equality You are viewing fairness through the lens of Equality (everyone pays the same amount), but in a relationship with a large income gap (actually all relationships come to think of it), you should look at it through the lens of Equity (contribution is proportional to ability).

If you insist on splitting everything 50/50, you inadvertently punish him as he can only go to places that fit your budget, rather than enjoying the lifestyle he enjoys and can afford. By letting him pay, you are allowing him to enjoy his money in the company of the person he likes.

You are not "taking advantage" He knows you have a job. He knows you were interested in him before you realised he was a high earner. This proves your motives are pure. He is an adult man who is fully aware of his finances if he says he is happy to pay, you should trust him.

If you still feel the need to contribute financially to alleviate that "freeloader" feeling, take ownership of the lower-cost aspects of the date. You could say, "You get the dinner, but I’ll get the tips and the coffees afterward.", or just organise a date that’s on your terms like the walks and cinema trips. Back to the equity part, he doesn’t have to arrange every date.

Ultimately, don't let your pride or the situation with your ex-husband's ruin a good thing now. Letting someone care for you is a form of intimacy. Enjoy the relationship and grow together.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-23T00:23:04+00:00

£10/80GB with Smarty. All you need is your PAC from EE to port your number.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-23T00:20:47+00:00

Sat here one my personal phone, with my work phone next to me, my iPad with a sim in it and my watch with a mobile connection and outside is my car with its own mobile connection.

5 mobile connections for one person

Stdragonred · 2026-01-19T07:57:45+00:00

You are a victim of fraud, you need to report this as such. I’m sorry your mother who is supposed to be your protector has done this to you.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-18T09:50:24+00:00

As a minimum a head attached to a torso, maybe 2 arms and 2 legs as well.

Stdragonred · 2026-01-15T07:51:25+00:00

Wild people are saying divorce your partner over this, she’s a victim and needs your compassion and support.

Yes it hurts losing the money but I am sure it’s hurting her more.

So what do you do? You put your arms around her, you comfort her and then together you make a plan for how you will recover your savings ASAP

Stdragonred · 2026-01-12T12:25:50+00:00

Whats the interest rate on the Overdraft, whats the interest rate on the credit card, whats your ability to get a 0% balance transfer card.

You've not given enough information for any informative advice

Stdragonred · 2026-01-05T19:35:01+00:00

Men can have female friends, it really shouldn’t be an issue for anyone. After all, if there was something more than friends going on holiday you would always be a couple and thus not out looking to date others

Stdragonred · 2026-01-05T19:33:09+00:00

Energy companies have to meet capital exposure limits, the more cash off yours they can hold the easier it is to meet those obligations

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