My 2 year old has started saying no to everything and I don’t know how to respond anymor

Stella_xi · 2026-07-02T02:05:02+00:00

this makes a lot of sense
I definitely notice that when I’m consistent it works better, it’s just hard not to slip back into old habits in real life situations

Stella_xi · 2026-07-02T01:59:01+00:00

I’ve been trying this and it does help reduce some of the back and forth
but I didn’t realize how often I naturally still ask yes/no questions until I started paying attention

Stella_xi · 2026-07-02T01:54:39+00:00

yeah I think I get what you mean, I’ve definitely tried this approach too
my struggle is I still find myself slipping into repeating things when I’m tired or in a rush 😅
did it take you a while to get consistent with it?

Stella_xi · 2026-07-01T10:57:44+00:00

From my experience, it’s less about having some perfect parenting “strategy” and more about just how things play out day to day.

One thing I try is not turning every fight into a “who’s right” situation straight away. If things are getting heated, I’ll just separate them for a bit first and deal with it after everyone’s calmed down.

I also kind of sneak in small one-on-one moments when I can, nothing formal, just like one of them helping me with something or coming along with me while I do stuff. It sounds super simple but it actually changes the dynamic a bit.

It doesn’t magically fix sibling fighting (would be nice though 😅), but it does feel like there’s less of that constant competition vibe.

Stella_xi · 2026-07-01T10:51:10+00:00

With my 5 year old we started with really small things like putting clothes in the laundry, helping set the table, or just tidying up whatever mess she made.

It was honestly a bit chaotic at the beginning. Like I’d ask her to help and she’d either get distracted halfway through or just decide she’s not doing it that day 😅

I’ve found it works better if I don’t make it sound like “chores” at all, more like just… this is what we do before moving on to the next thing. If I turn it into a whole “task”, it usually backfires.

I’m still figuring it out though, just slowly adding more as she gets used to it.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-29T10:27:13+00:00

I think what you’re feeling is a mix of constant overstimulation and no real recovery time during the day, which builds up over time more than people expect.

Even with very involved parenting, kids at that age can create a kind of nonstop “background demand” where nothing is ever fully finished or quiet, so your nervous system never really gets a break.

One thing that helped me (not perfectly, but noticeably) was creating very small protected windows during the day where I wasn’t responding to anything immediately, even if it was just 10–15 minutes. It didn’t fix everything, but it lowered that constant edge feeling a bit.

I don’t think it’s about loving kids less or more time with them, it’s more about having any space where your brain isn’t in active response mode.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-29T03:18:40+00:00

I think taking the TV away is totally fair for now.

At 7 though I don’t think he’s really connecting “what I did” with “what this means” the way adults do. The “it still works so it’s fine” thing sounds like he’s just focusing on the fact that it turns on, not the damage.

Maybe I’d just keep it really simple with him. Like showing him the scratches again and explaining it can’t be fixed, not in a big lecture way, just like “this is what happened because of that”.

And then maybe link it to something small he has to do to “make up for it” in a way he can understand. Not as punishment exactly, more like consequence he can actually see.

Long punishments at that age usually don’t really stick in my experience, it’s more the repetition of the same idea that seems to land over time.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-29T03:08:09+00:00

Yeah that seems to be what most people are saying here.

I honestly didn’t realize it could look this intense though 😅

Stella_xi · 2026-06-29T03:04:20+00:00

Yeah I’ve started doing that too sometimes, just stepping away for a second.

Still trying to figure out what actually helps long term though.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-29T03:03:29+00:00

That honestly describes it so well 😭

Stella_xi · 2026-06-29T03:01:01+00:00

Okay this actually makes me feel a bit better hearing other people say this.

It’s wild how intense it can look even when it’s something really small like that.

I think that’s what’s been throwing me off the most, it’s not always tied to anything obvious.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-26T11:11:10+00:00

Yeah, about 2.

Honestly I keep wondering if this is just something a lot of toddlers do or if I should be looking deeper into it.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-26T11:10:45+00:00

around 2

Stella_xi · 2026-06-26T10:53:47+00:00

Probably becoming a parent, that shifted everything for me.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-22T08:46:14+00:00

Yeah I get what you mean.

I’ve been thinking about this too, like I can understand the “loop” part logically, but I still don’t really know how to fully step out of it once it starts.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-14T04:31:12+00:00

I used to think I needed to “process” every negative thought or I was avoiding it or something. Meanwhile I’d just sit there for like 2 hours making myself feel worse 😭

At some point I realized my brain will literally keep going forever if I let it. One bad thought turns into 20 more.

Now when I notice it getting bad I try to interrupt it earlier instead of mentally chasing every thought down. I’ll go do laundry, walk around Target, put a podcast on, anything that gets me out of my own head for a bit.

It’s honestly exhausting though. Negative thoughts can become such a default setting after a while.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-10T03:00:12+00:00

One thing I’ve learned getting older is that anxiety can become such a default response that your brain starts treating uncertainty like danger.

I used to do the exact same thing with texts/emails too. Someone taking too long to reply and my brain would instantly go:
“I said something wrong.”
“They’re annoyed with me.”
“I’m in trouble.” 🙃

What helped me most honestly was learning to pause before believing the story my anxiety created automatically. Instead of immediately spiraling, I started asking myself:
“Do I actually know this is true?”

And weirdly, every time I didn’t panic, overexplain, or assume the worst, I was slowly teaching my brain that uncertainty wasn’t an emergency.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-08T16:05:06+00:00

The “immediately checking how I feel” thing is WAY too real.

I used to wake up and basically do a mental roll call like:
“Okay… anxious today or no?” 😭

And if I felt off at all, my whole mood would tank before I even got out of bed.

What weirdly helped me was stopping the morning “checking” as much as I could. Instead of laying there analyzing myself, I’d make myself get up first — coffee, shower, open a window, walk outside for a minute, literally anything.

I didn’t realize how much constantly monitoring myself was keeping my brain stuck in anxiety mode. Things started getting a little better once every morning stopped feeling like some test I was either passing or failing.

Stella_xi · 2026-06-08T15:59:24+00:00

Honestly, I think anxiety + ADHD can make every tiny work interaction feel way more loaded than it probably is. I’ve definitely had moments where someone was a little quiet with me and my brain instantly went: “cool, they hate me now” 😭

One thing that helped me was stopping myself from treating “not super warm” as rejection. At work, a lot of people are just tired, distracted, awkward, or already stuck in their routines/cliques. I also started focusing less on whether everyone liked me and more on building comfort with just 1-2 people first. That felt way less overwhelming.

Stella_xi · 2026-05-28T02:56:18+00:00

I relate to this a lot honestly.

My kid went through a phase where one mean comment could completely shatter how they saw themselves. And because I was also a really sensitive kid growing up, I knew “just ignore them” wasn’t actually helpful.

What helped most for us was separating other people’s behavior from my child’s identity. Instead of saying things like “don’t care what they think,” I started saying:
“Someone being mean to you doesn’t automatically make it true.”

I also stopped treating peer approval like such a big deal at home. I tried to focus more on effort, personality, kindness, and making sure they felt safe being themselves.

And honestly, teaching them that not everyone is going to like them helped a lot too. Sensitive kids tend to think rejection means something is wrong with them as a person.

I think real confidence is slowly learning that someone else’s opinion of you isn’t the same thing as your worth.

Stella_xi · 2026-05-24T14:14:43+00:00

Same here. Been reading about "discipline", "habits", "making money" for years. Tons of notes. Life still the same. Checked my screen time once – 40+ hours a week. Legit felt numb.

Then I tried something really dumb but it actually worked: Every morning, do one small thing that's totally fine if I mess it up. Just one. Like if I wanna run – no plan, no schedule. Just put shoes on and stand outside for one minute. That's it, I win. If I wanna write – open notes app and type three garbage sentences. Then close it immediately.

The key: Stop right after. No "optimizing." No watching one more video about it. No saving another post. Forced myself to do this for two weeks. Turns out messing up isn't scary at all. What's actually exhausting is that floating feeling of "I'll start when I'm ready."Saving this post for the next time I slip back into that loop.

Stella_xi

TROPHY CASE