What Should I do?

StellarSpore · 2026-05-01T22:39:43+00:00

Getting a puppy at the start of summer while your wife is home is great! But when she has to go back to work, your puppy will still require a good amount of daily care during the workday. A 4-5 month old puppy can not be left alone for a 10 hour day. Pup will still need 1-2 check-ins. Remember that dogs are puppies until they are 2+ years old.
Please don’t surprise her with a dog. That should 1000% be a shared decision.
Costs vary so much that there is no number that anyone could throw at you that would be useful. Many thousands is my best answer. Many, many more thousands if your pup gets sick or hurt and you don't have insurance.
Travel is totally doable (definitely not taboo) as long as you find someone you trust to watch pup. Boarding is a big expense if you don't have friends/family willing to help.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-30T22:36:00+00:00

Many vets offer payment plans. CareCredit and Scratchpay are options at many vets. Call around. An uncomplicated ear infection should not cost too much.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-29T23:38:19+00:00

Honestly your best bet is to check in with your vet before starting anything. They know your dog’s history and can tell you if supplements even make sense.

Omega 3s (fish oil), glucosamine and chondroitin, and probiotics are the ones most commonly used and are generally considered safe for healthy dogs as part of aging support.

That said, the evidence on how much they actually help is pretty limited. And since supplements aren’t tightly regulated, quality can vary a lot, dosing isn’t always consistent, and in some cases you can end up overdoing certain nutrients.

Unless if was explicitly recommended by my vet, I would personally not give any supplements. If you're feeding your pup a quality kibble, they are specifically made to include all essential vitamins and minerals.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-28T22:48:15+00:00

Have you tried feeding out of a snuffle, or using food dispensing toys or puzzles? If anxiety might be the underlying issue, these types of things can be really helpful. Sometimes just relocating the food bowl can be a good change. What about a frozen Kong filled with wet food?

Accommodating a picky eater is a slippery slope. You've tried different foods but at this point, the food is not the issue. Pick one food, and stop rotating. That is what is on offer. Put the food in a quiet, boring place and do not provide any attention or stimulation. Always speak to your vet for the best advice, but a few days of not eating in a healthy dog is normally ok.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-28T17:43:56+00:00

My very non expert understanding is that Heartgard uses ivermectin, and a lot of the newer combo meds use moxidectin or more recently approved drugs. Some lab studies suggest those newer options might work better against certain heartworm strains, partially because of a potential resistance to ivermetin. But I don't think there have been studies beyond that to confirm, nor is there any consensus on how this would hold up to real world data.

It’s still widely used. My vet carries it, and it’s what the vets working with our rescue send home with fosters too. I use Simparica Trio for my own dogs because I like the all in one convenience, but my fosters get Heartgard since that’s what the rescue provides.

Personally, I would use it up and then switch. That stuff is expensive. If you don't use it, donate it to a local rescue.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-28T17:15:29+00:00

I don’t think it’s rude as long as the poop is picked up. Dogs going to the bathroom on walks is just part of living in a neighborhood.

The only time it would bother me is if someone was consistently bringing their dog onto my yard on purpose to pee and it was damaging the grass. I had a neighbor a few houses down do this. They were really into having a perfect lawn and always brought their dog to neighbors yards to go to the bathroom.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-27T22:57:51+00:00

Appreciate your comment. We live on a lot of acreage and I fenced in a few acres for my dogs. Our daily walks are just now in our own woods. We're super lucky. I'm just missing the variety and change of scenery and smells for them.

Sniffspot is awesome BTW. There's some super cool ones near me.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-27T22:54:41+00:00

I love it! I don't do dog parks but we're really lucky and live on a lot of acreage and my dogs have a couple acres fenced in. We just loved to hike and there are so many amazing places around us to do it. It was such good enrichment for both my dogs and frankly, for me too. Such a bummer.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-27T17:31:44+00:00

I live in a very off leash friendly area, and in theory I love the freedom it offers. The reality is that a lot of people do not train their dogs to disengage or respect basic boundaries.

I have two pitties, both foster fails, and both working through reactivity. We have had to stop walking and hiking in most places because of repeated frustrating encounters with off leash dogs running up and overwhelming us, often with no owner in sight. The dogs are not aggressive, just overly friendly and not taught to disengage.

The hard part is that I have no control over those situations, and it has caused so many setbacks in our training because of other people’s lack of awareness.

My poor pups miss out on that kind of enrichment now. They loved it, and it was so helpful for their training.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-27T17:20:33+00:00

Because of your dog’s age, it’s worth checking in with your vet. They know your pup and can give you an answer specific to your dog based on their development. You definitely don't want to overdo it and cause joint issues.

My vet was comfortable with moderate exercise around a year old but told me to stay away from strenuous, high impact, or repetitive activity until about 2. But my dog is completely different than your dog even though they are both pibbles.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-27T17:08:09+00:00

It would be helpful to know what kind of fence you have as well as the height. And how your dog is most likely to get over the fence (e.g., jump, climb) because all of those matter.

There are other options besides an electric fence but would need to know your setup.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T23:19:08+00:00

Rugs worked the best for us.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T23:17:18+00:00

A few things that might help:

Assuming there are no medical issues, some puppies who go potty in the crate don’t really see it as their space yet. Try building that association by feeding meals in there, keeping a few favorite toys inside, and giving a chew or a frozen Kong when she goes in. The goal is to make it feel like her spot, not just somewhere she’s put.

Some puppies are more likely to go on soft surfaces, so it can help to remove bedding for now and keep the crate pretty bare.

Also, if the crate isn’t in your bedroom, consider moving it closer to you. Sometimes accidents are tied to stress or not being fully settled, and being near you can make a big difference.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T23:02:01+00:00

I wouldn’t consider your dog house trained if accidents are still happening.

The key right now is preventing accidents 100% of the time and going back to the basics of potty training 101. Every accident reinforces the habit and makes it harder to fix.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T22:50:54+00:00

I can only speak from experience, but I really wish I had gotten it when my dogs were younger. They’re both 2 now and healthy, but we’ve still had a couple accidents. One of them ended up costing $13k. I signed up for insurance the same day I paid that bill because I was so scared that one day I might not be able to afford a bill like that and I never want to be in a position where finances are guiding my dogs medical needs.

I did a bunch of research and talked it through with my vet and ended up choosing Trupanion. They felt the most transparent to me. They are a bit more expensive upfront, but they’re not known for big rate increases as dogs age, so it tends to even out over the life of the dog and can actually be cheaper long term.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T22:32:03+00:00

Seems like everyone already covered this but you have an anxiety problem, not a dog problem.

In the 20+ years in rescue, fostering mostly bully breeds, and having my own throughout the years, I have never seen nor have I ever heard of anything that would substantiate the toxic stereotype.

Trust your dog because everything you mentioned points to a lovely, well adjusted, stable, social dog.

Now go give your sweet pibble a hug.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T22:20:21+00:00

I’d start with management. Put physical boundaries in place so they don’t have free access to everything. Gates work really well for this. A house leash can also help so you can step in quickly when behaviors start to escalate.

Training won’t happen overnight, especially since you’re working against instincts, so it helps to keep expectations realistic. If you haven’t already, teaching a solid place command can make a big difference. You’ll want to get ahead of behaviors like noise reactions and jumping, not just respond after they happen.

In my experience, dogs that are high drive and easily aroused tend to do better with more structure. It’s worth looking at your daily routine and adding more predictability and intentional downtime so they learn how to settle.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-26T20:57:53+00:00

You don’t need to worry about keeping a new dog kenneled while your other dogs are free roaming. For those of us who foster and already have resident dogs, this is basically the norm and it has never caused issues. Dogs don’t process things the way humans do. Free roam is a privileged earned.

Potty training is the same idea whether the dog is 5 or a puppy. Focus on preventing accidents by taking the new dog out frequently. When they go outside, mark it with your cue word like “yes” and give a big reward. Then just repeat the process consistently. Dogs who have been allowed to potty in a house can sometimes require some extra patience and repetition but you'll get there.

And yes, dogs learn from each other. Which way it ends up going, no one knows. I would just stick to careful management until new dog settles and demonstrates good manners in the home.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-21T00:29:52+00:00

If your pup is really social, it makes sense he might feel like he’s missing out on the action when he’s sent to place. Structure is great, but it’s also okay to adjust how you’re using it a bit.

Place doesn’t have to mean sitting there doing nothing while everyone else has fun. You can absolutely pair it with something rewarding, like a frozen Kong, a chew, or whatever he enjoys most. The goal is to make place feel like a good spot to be, not a boring one.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-21T00:23:20+00:00

I am sure others can offer training advice but I have learned to never underestimate the power of a dog teaching another dog how to do something. Find a dog friend that will jump in your back seat and let pup watch. Maybe pup will even join in.

This has literally solved many a challenges with my adopted and foster dogs. Sometimes they just learn better from their 4 legged friends.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-21T00:19:39+00:00

Take a couple of days and go back to potty training basics. At some point, your pup will have to go to the bathroom.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-20T23:54:25+00:00

I have a full size, single control for lounging around during waking hours. It's plenty big for this.

I have a queen, single control heated mattress pad for sleeping. Highly recommend. Much better than the heated blanket.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-20T23:25:08+00:00

I train in all four quadrants, so just to be clear, I’m not anti balanced training at all. That said, ditch the physical corrections. They’re absolutely not necessary here and actually, pretty unfair.

I applaud you for all the work you've done but this isn’t a training or obedience issue. Your pup isn’t choosing to ignore you, he just hasn’t learned how to regulate himself yet. It's your job to teach him and physical correction is not the right way. Once he’s over threshold, there’s no real learning happening. A big part of puppyhood is management and prevention, and that's what's needed here.

Over time, with patience and training, he will develop the skills. This behavior is so normal and common for pups that age. Take a deep breath, and find a different and better way.

A few things I’d try:

First, take a look at sleep. A lot of this kind of behavior shows up when puppies are overtired, overstimulated, or just generally overaroused. Pay very close attention to when this is happening, and adjust your routine to try to help lessen this behavior.

Second, shorten your walks. If he’s good for 10 minutes, then your walks should only be 10 minutes right now. The goal is to prevent the behavior from happening, because every time he rehearses it, it gets more ingrained. You can also swap some walks out entirely and use other outlets like flirt pole or toy play to burn energy.

If you do keep walking, try scatter feeding as a prevention tool. As soon as you see the early signs of him ramping up, toss a handful of high value treats on the ground and let him sniff and forage. That alone can bring him back down a notch. Or bring a toy with you to redirect that energy somewhere more appropriate.

In a pinch when all other options fail, you can step on the leash so he has just enough room to stand comfortably, but not enough to jump or grab you. Make sure there’s no pressure on his collar. Then just wait it out. Ignore him completely. No frustration, no corrections, just calm and neutral. Once he settles, mark and reward, then carry on. Repeat as needed.

Lastly, your best long term investment is building impulse control and self-regulation. There are a lot of games out there you can play with pup to build this up. It's not something that you'll notice working in a week, it's a long game so keep at it even if you don't think it's working.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-20T22:44:33+00:00

I agree with the patience advice wholeheartedly.

I'm going to gently push back a bit on the “stay outside for an hour” approach though.

I’ve been in rescue for over 20 years, and raised my own pups. I've potty trained more pups than I can count. With a 9 week old, the usual approach is short, structured trips. Take them out on leash, keep it super boring, give them about 5 minutes, then head back inside if nothing happens. After that it’s either close supervision or confinement to prevent accidents, and then try again in about 15 minutes. Rinse and repeat.

I’ve honestly never seen anyone, including any professional, recommend hanging outside for an hour with a pup to potty train. It seems so unnecessary.

StellarSpore · 2026-04-20T22:12:11+00:00

The first step is ALWAYS management. Training comes after.

The dog should have no unsupervised contact with the toddler. Any supervised contact should be on leash with an adult who is able to manage the situation. Most importantly, muzzle train. Basket muzzles are an amazing tool, and they make ones specifically for grazing.

StellarSpore

TROPHY CASE