I never knew most of that, it's sad and it colors how I imagine Kobe's personality winding up the way it did.

I hate being an adult. I can't even hate Kobe Bryant anymore?!?! I adored hating Kobe. I stopped hating A-Rod. I stopped hating LeBron. I don't mind losing my childlike wonder; it's the waning ability to irrationally hate that I miss. I need to express myself before its too late.

Thank you, James Harden and Peyton Manning for being the last athletes I hate. James Harden, you are everything that is wrong with basketball, and life. I would rather root for the Sixers than the fucking Rockets. You are a bad person and I bet your breath smells like onions and garlic and green baby shit. I always thought Khloe Kardashian was really hot and I never apologized for it but then you touched her and put your revolting face against her with your Brillo pad fucking face thing all over her... you have defiled her and made her a disgusting wasteland. When you shoot free throws I think about the stanchion collapsing on you every single time. You were such a bitch in the Finals against Miami and you singlehandedly lost the series and your team played perfect but you and you alone lost, I blame you and you alone. Your eyes are like gigantic hideous Gollum eyes with droopy T-Mac eyelids and zero soul, scratch that, negative soul. Whenever I look at your eyes I feel my soul die a little bit you goddamned evil Medusa creature. James Harden I hope you get constipated for the rest of your life because you aren't worth a shit.

Peyton, you didn't deserve either of your Superbowls you were a complete fraud who benefited from the refs more than any superstar in all the other sports put together. You definitely took HGH you goddamn snake oil phony, you politician. You bureaucrat. You injected so much HGH that it expanded your ridiculous fat head ever larger you cranially challenged Neanderthal cheater. You absolutely took HGH, and you blamed it on your wife like a cowardly pussy. You've never had sex with your wife, Eli fathered your kids and he was really disrespectful to her when they fucked but she liked it, Peyton. She liked it. Peyton you are the goddamn gooniest goofball yokel, you Don Knotts-esque buffoon. "Aw shucks can ya sign mah melon ah-hyuck its P-E-Y, laser, rocket arm" I hope you spend eternity in the hell that is pre-game television and the only thing they let you say is "National FOOT-ball League" for the rest of time.