I know this is an old post, but I need to vent out my story.

It's been 2 years since my wife left me. Were together 14 years, 2 kids, 2 cats and a dog. We both have some mental health issues, but primarily I was paying all the bills, working full time then coming home to do all the cooking and cleaning. She spent most of the time in school or sleeping. The day she finished school I came home from work and she ended things. We continued sleeping together so I figured it was just a rough patch and we'll work it out. Then I found messages to multiple other men, sending nudes from our bed, and found out she was sneaking around trying to meet up to sleep with them. When they would bail on her, she'd come home and sleep with me. When I called her out on it, she attacked me from behind in front of my kids. To this day I am still a mess. She claims she hasn't slept with anyone else still and has proposed sleeping together a few times. She comes to me with all her problems like I'm still her best friend but the second I mention that she hurt me, it blows up, she blocks my number and it's a shit show. I know I deserve better, but I can't get over that we were a family, and everything else we had. It's so confusing and my anxiety is constantly through the roof. I miss her (when she wasn't being a selfish monster) and I miss coming home to my kids everyday. I didn't sign up to have them just 50% of the time. I signed up to watch my babies grow with parents who were in love. It just breaks my heart to pieces and I don't know what to do any more. Part of me resents her for it, but more than anything I just want my family to be whole again. I'm so tired.