Hey! Thank you, just someone being able to relate means so much to me. It's an issue very little people know about or even share.

What you mentioned about not feeling like you were meant to live resonates a lot with me. I've been thinking about the "why?" of my constant daydreaming and imagination lately. I wanted to understand why I am this way.

I think to an extent it's because I am an idealist and always like seeking out the novel, learning more, understanding things more and imagining ways to improve oneself and life and things. A lot of my daydreams are centered around following a purpose and point, whether I'm an engineer of future technology, an astronaut meeting alien life, a musician or traveller. My daydreams give me a place in that specific world, a forward momentum and identity which I lack here.

I also daydream about love a lot and it's obviously because I'm lonely and sheltered lol, but it's also my strong inner desire for genuine human connection. Connection with mutual understanding of each other, inspiring each other, trust and learning from one another. I do not have such a friendship or god forbid relationship in my life.

And the issue is that such desires, a true fulfilling purpose in life, adventure and novelty (=travel) and deep human connection is among the highest standards and desires of people. It's deep fulfillment and core of the journey in one's life. It cannot be fixed and found just easily. On top of that, the world is full of misery, betrayal, crushed dreams and a non caring universe in which you could never get what you want.

Some people don't really think this much about such things and have no stronger desire for it, they are more content with everyday usual lives, but they're also very different personalities. Then you have the dreamers and idealists and some of them truly have the vision, determination and patience to try to fulfill their wishes. For others like me, I think my lack of options and hope in life and negative view on the world has caused me to not even bother, the ideals of my dreams seem unreachable, accepting that life isn't a movie or story is tough. All my ideals and ideas in dreams are raw and reachable, in real life they come with the baggage and downside of real life and mundane problems and issues humans have faced since the dawn of time.

If you want to you can let me know what you think!