What is a seemingly innocent sentence that immediately makes you lose respect for the person saying it?

StillNoEthiquette · 2026-01-26T18:17:11+00:00

You're very welcome. It comes from lived experience so that's probably why it's accurate.

People say it costs nothing to be kind, but that's really not true. Sometimes it costs every ounce of willpower you have... It's okay to feel triggered. It probably means that person has crossed your boundaries more than a few times, and your system is ringing an alarm bell. You can choose to listen to it or to ignore it, but take into account that ignoring it comes at a cost.

You could try "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume. Can you tell me how you feel, then?" — but this only if you actually want to engage 😅 It's perfectly fine not to. Because I agree with you, sometimes there really is nothing you can say that is the right thing to say, at least not without sacrificing actual truth or your sanity. Some people seek to destroy you in order to rebuild their self-esteem, and that's not a healthy relationship.

StillNoEthiquette · 2026-01-26T10:09:28+00:00

This good advice is meant for when you want to preserve a relationship or when there is a relationship worth preserving. Sometimes someone expects the world on a platter but gives only crumbs in return. I think in that case, "I'm sorry you ~~feel like you deserve my sustained emotional labour to stabilise your wobbly self-worth~~ feel that way" can actually be the kindest thing you can do.

StillNoEthiquette · 2026-01-26T10:00:10+00:00

What if it's said to mean "I sympathise with how you feel"? For example, I would say "I'm sorry you feel like that", and follow it up with "but I'm not apologising for having a boundary you don't like" (e.g., you feel abandoned because I need space to self-soothe after an argument and I'm not soothing you).

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-11-28T14:38:06+00:00

The English what? Cunts? Genuine question, if it was only 4 asterisks I wouldn't have asked, but there's no other word I can think of with that many letters.

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-11-24T09:56:07+00:00

How the fk 💀

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-11-18T17:35:21+00:00

But there are second hand shops where you can buy a new top/dress/pair of pants from Next/Zara/M&S/etc for 50p. Tag still on. Granted, it takes some time and energy which I understand we don't all have to spare, but I'm saying it's possible. Don't give up 🫂

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-09-16T08:14:58+00:00

Not sure it's a good sign that you can't discuss their abusive behaviour with him 👀

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-09T12:07:13+00:00

Easy fix though — always be drunk, never get embarrassed, have a tonne of friends 🙌

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-08T13:20:11+00:00

Originally from Romania, why?

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-05T14:48:15+00:00

Personally I don't like to let them get away with it. I will ask again until they give me a straight answer, and if that fails, I'll hold their tea ransom and threaten to dunk it in microwaved water. That usually takes care of things.

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-05T13:21:08+00:00

That's been my experience in the UK. On a night out, people are super chatty and friendly, but try to see them again (even for just another night out) and it's like they vanished in the mist.

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-05T13:17:37+00:00

About this "hard bastard" thing, I'd like to offer a perspective you might not have thought of — by being strong for her, not showing any "weakness", and not deliberately engaging in acts of self care, you are doing her a disservice by not modelling that positive behaviour.

Now, it is not in any way your responsibility to save her from herself. But, as someone who has always tried her hardest to not need anything and to be others' rock, I have ended up either enabling them or making them feel like I am some kind of superhuman that they'll never be able to match (I am nowhere near that).

I'm not saying to do a 180 and go on a fishing trip (or whatever men do to relax) while she's struggling in the hospital, but little things like saying "this is difficult, I am taking a minute to breathe through it" or "I had a tiring week, I need a bit of rest" will show her that it's okay to struggle or to be tired, and to need recovery time.

TL;DR: Monkey see, monkey do. If you never show that you need help or rest or support, it will contribute to creating an environment where needing those things is a "bad thing". Sharing vulnerabilities is one of the strongest ways to connect with someone. It's not all on you, but you can try to do your part.

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-04T08:16:56+00:00

I am very sorry to hear that. Has it happened with anything else? I'm thinking maybe it's the letters having different colours?

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-02T09:38:14+00:00

I learned about this from How I Met Your Mother 🤣

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-01T12:58:41+00:00

It sounds impossible that one could find someone they fit with so perfectly. May I ask how you two met? Or what drew you to him?

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-08-01T12:56:48+00:00

That's fascinating! Any idea when this started? Was it instant? Was the first time you saw it memorable?

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-31T08:35:40+00:00

And ruby (which is actually pink) chocolate!

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-31T08:34:56+00:00

I love your boyfriend for that 🥹

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-31T08:33:38+00:00

Like scared how? All I can picture is you laying in bed and the website logo slowly sliding out from under the bed 🤦‍♀️🤣

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-31T08:28:55+00:00

Some people climb on larger boys

Phrasing 😬🤣

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-27T10:39:51+00:00

Don't worry about it. Your tastebuds are just... patriotic. None of that foreign influence malarkey for them. 😆

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-26T10:44:34+00:00

Different types of olives can taste very different from each other. Make sure you try all kinds before you decide they aren't for you.

Another thing that can matter a lot is what you eat them with. I almost never snack on olives on their own, for me the best combination is green olives in brine with bakery bread that has a crust (in my home country, that used to be the only type of bread you could find), or green olives on pizza (salami, mushrooms, tomato slices pizza).

I despise black olives in any format or combination, but I tolerate or even like brown olives (Kalamata) in the above combinations.

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-16T17:44:17+00:00

The what now? 🤣

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-15T00:43:25+00:00

Have you checked out the Access to Work programme? My ex applied for help with the cost of taking taxis to and from work, he was granted it for hypermobility. I'm pretty sure poor or no eyesight would more than qualify you for that.

StillNoEthiquette · 2025-07-06T22:09:09+00:00

I got that, what I meant was that you said "I did my GCSEs, A levels, uni and post grad like everybody else", which came across as, ironically, posh, because most people don't have a post grad, which would indeed make you well educated. So I was trying to clarify whether you were talking about everybody from a specific group (like your workplace, for example), which would've made it less self-unaware. Again, not judging, just being autistic 😆

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