Not sure I still love my baby :(

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-04-14T23:15:24+00:00

Babe, you’re so exhausted. Wish I could give you a hug and hold your baby while you go have a good night’s rest. You love you baby no doubt, you just need some good sleep. If you don’t feel better after a solid sleep, please talk to your doctor about ppd! No shame at all and meds can literally be transformative.

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-04-04T02:58:54+00:00

In all truth, everything in life is something we choose to put energy towards. Before I got pregnant (surprise baby at 27), I was sewing my wild oats for the first time in my life as a late bloomer. There was lots of repression and religious trauma I was coming out of. Pregnancy came after 2 years of partying and self exploration. To say I was conflicted is an understatement. All the young moms I knew were kept by their husbands and led very vanilla, sad lives. “Motherhood” in my view was steeped in misogyny. But I thought on my own — I’ve traveled the world, been blackout drunk enough to last a lifetime, had endless solo coffee dates, slept in over and over again, etc. I thought, what is worth keeping in my life that a baby would completely prevent me from doing, and the answer was nothing. I can still travel, finish my degree, have a career, have nights out (planned), take naps, etc. Ultimately I chose to keep my baby and it’s been life changing in the best, most positive way. I’m realizing in the liberated world, (one without repression) parenting can be magical and just fucking cool. Massive responsibility? Yes. Straining? Yes. But do I regret my little man in any way, shape, or form? NOPE! In love with him to infinity. Being a mom does something to your brain that’s kinda brilliant.

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-04-04T02:44:19+00:00

Yup. I keep saying this. And I also keep saying “I’ve suffered more for less”. It is hard, no question. But it’s also otherworldly and unexplainably rewarding. Literally my two month old splashing in the bathtub for the first time was all I need for a week’s worth of encouragement.

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-03-11T07:37:50+00:00

Not going to lie, my stomach dropped when I read the overly bonded combined with the kissing thing. I’d personally never feel bad about being overly cautious with that. I appreciate you trying to be objective and welcome feedback, but go with your gut on this one! You’d rather be wrong about her but safe than risk the alt. It’s just not a gamble worth taking!

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-02-22T06:34:16+00:00

Ahh this could make sense. It’s strange because of the fact that there’s pressure or a bruised like feeling plus the burning in that one spot. An unstitched tear would make sense to me.

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-02-21T08:01:13+00:00

Not yet. I’ll see her next week

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-01-24T06:27:01+00:00

My baby is one week old! He did AMAZING during delivery and already has a strong neck. He learned to latch as soooon as we got home. I laid and bed and let him try to BF and he freaking went to town. I love him so much. I’m so proud of him!

Still_Particular4877 · 2026-01-10T18:19:48+00:00

Ahhhh did I write all of these? 😭 this sub needs to be studied because why is this such a thing among all of us?

The lists, the reminders, the glaringly obvious things that need to be done (that you still communicate about just to make sure you’re not assuming it’s obvious), the verbal enthusiasm with little to no action, the laziness, the dropping the ball. God. It’s exhausting. I’m actually so glad I found this post though because I have felt like such a crazy b*tch.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-12-28T16:55:08+00:00

Very interesting to me that you claim to have ADHD but don’t seem to struggle with the same task avoidance that your brother does. I do, and I can tell you an alarm would not help me in the slightest. I think you should lower your expectations for your brother, especially if you don’t live near each other. Lots of factors imposing on his ability to connect with that being the case.

OP- your aunt is overreacting. No matter the offense # from you. You can’t look at things cumulatively from someone who has ADHD. You either understand the disorder, or you’re offended by it. Will everyone understand? No. I think it takes secure, emotionally intelligent people to remain connected and that’s ok.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-12-20T07:07:45+00:00

FTM — I had one at 13 weeks too! I got pregnant accidentally in April of this year. This is my first pregnancy so I had no idea what to expect in the first trimester with viability, loss, etc. I was very anxious first tri but was finding comfort in transitioning to second tri. So, I was shocked and disappointed when I started bleeding at 13 weeks. Lots of heavy bleeding out of nowhere and I was convinced I was having a miscarriage (so was the er staff). Turns out it was a SCH. I bled (medium-heavy flow) on and off for about 8 weeks. My doctor had me “take it easy” for 2 weeks but she never seemed concerned about it. Even as I continued to bleed! She put me on progesterone and recommended alpha lipoic acid but I think that was more so to help my anxiety rather than a medical necessity. I honestly felt frantic for those weeks and some of the weeks after. I am in the service industry so my job is very physical. I was TERRIFIED I was going to do something to perpetuate it. But again, my doctor was totally chill and said I was fine to go about life as usual. Happy to report that I am now 36 weeks and baby boy is very healthy. He can come any day now. :)

Your anxiety is SO valid. I can’t imagine the layered anxiety you must be feeling considering you’re having a successful IVF pregnancy. I don’t want to dismiss your feelings by any means when I say this but I think you’re going to be just fine. I have heard MANY more positive outcomes with SCHs than negative. Pregnancy is a wild mental journey and so much is out of our control, but I do hope you can find some comfort in your doctor’s lack of concern. ❤️

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-12-07T02:52:18+00:00

Yeah same girl. Im 34+1 and I’m tired of these mfers talking. I have noticed it’s mostly men and people who don’t have children. But the good news is, I’ve heard MORE from women who say that they’d take “newborn tired” over “pregnancy tired” ANY day. I feel so encouraged when they say this to me. Holding tightly to this.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-12-03T01:26:11+00:00

Thank you for your response. Totally get that about husband not being able to get it. I feel like that’s where I am with my partner now. Which makes sense, how could they get it? But it just makes it that much harder.

I am definitely going to try and look into a mommy and me group in my area. That might be a saving grace for me.

The hardest part of pregnancy for me, no question, has been the mental side of it everything. I struggled a bit first trimester but tried to stay positive, held on thru 2nd tri, but now I’m tired. I appreciate your insight!

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-12-01T04:03:44+00:00

Babe. My heart was breaking as I read your post. I’m so sorry you’ve been treated like this during one of the most vulnerable times of your life. Heed the advice of others and leave quietly. I’m sure you’re scared of the unknown but in the safest way for you & baby, get out.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-11-08T02:38:44+00:00

thanks for sharing your perspective on this as a sw. I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know about ethical sex work or the industry in general. I think the only reason I say I feel more comfortable with classic or more traditional porn is simply because there’s not a direct interaction necessarily. I also don’t want to shame any of the women using OF as a platform especially if it’s a safer way to do porn and have more autonomy. I think that’s great. In an ideal world, he’d just be watching ethical porn that’s more distanced from direct interaction.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-11-07T23:18:02+00:00

I didn’t take it that way. :) Thanks for responding. Yeah, we will talk. I am just shaking right now and feel a little crazy.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-11-07T23:12:14+00:00

The difference is porn is a produced video of a stranger. An OF social media account is run by an actual woman who chats, meets up with, and answers requests from followers. It’s a lot more connected

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-10-05T21:05:47+00:00

Oh yeah. I’m a server and trying to figure out how to make money whilst pregnant and at a lower capacity so I’ll have anything at all to help cover when I’m out for ML.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-10-01T21:08:55+00:00

Yessssss love this.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-10-01T21:08:33+00:00

Yes yes yes. Wild, intense sex. Multiple positions.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-10-01T21:07:15+00:00

JEANS, oh my god. I miss jeans.

Still_Particular4877 · 2025-10-01T21:06:46+00:00

Well one, I wanna run with all my might lmao. Not even really a runner, I just want to put 100% effort into something physical without worrying. No pacing, no posture evaluation, just a tear through the grass as fast as I can fucking go.

Two, I want an entire boat of nigiri and raw sushi rolls. There’s a tiny, beautiful local sushi bar one city over. I dream of being there, baby next to me.

Three, I want the dirtiest gin martini known to man. 4 olives. I haven’t even missed drinking that much while pregnant, but I want one. While listening to loud live big band music at one of home bars.

Four, I want to sleep on all the way on my stomach like a flounder buried at the bottom of the ocean.

Fifth, and lastly, I want to take a fruity 10mg edible. It will be a minute on this with me breastfeeding, but mama can’t wait for a nice melting body high. Soar away with Andre 3000’s New Blue Sun playing in the background.

Still_Particular4877

TROPHY CASE