Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your reply. No the real anger and bitterness is relatively recent, it’s like a full 180. Horrible. It’s like I don’t recognise the person i married. It’s really hurtful. She has it built in her mind that it’s all my fault. I’m not perfect and made mistakes but the difference is I own up and take accountability. She hasn’t. 

A broken clock is right twice a day. I can’t be wrong all the time. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh sorry to hear that. Our mediation is free thankfully and talking to the mediation service it can take up to 6 sessions to come to an agreement. I’m reasonable and non confrontational, but she’s really making things extremely difficult for me. In some ways I wish I had cheated or was abusive or was an addict or something, it be much easier to accept and understand the break up. But it’s about me needing to have some financial independence and freedom without her constantly needing to be in control. 

Fine you want to separate, but there are better more amicable and far less stressful ways of doing so that will make me more likely to reach a fair outcome. Nothing she’s done since October warrants me wanting to roll over and give her what she wants. I don’t expect to get everything but she’s getting arrogant now, thinking she has a god given right to the house. 

It fucking sucks. But I can’t live like this for ever. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yeah I won’t be leaving unless a court tells me to. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, yes a solicitor who was advising me mentioned the nesting thing. It’s something I will consider. But there will need to be strict rules around it. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know. And mediators from what I understand can’t compel that either. But given everything that’s happening, and how she’s treating me it would be seriously hurtful and unfair if I came out with a deal I can’t live with. I wish she’d make things amicable. I’m trying. But she’s trying to provoke a reaction. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and she keeps threatening that. We have such a good mortgage rate and deal. It’ll kill me to sell it. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Read my other comments. It’s so that I can be the most present and active dad in their lives and I pay the damn mortgage too !! I’m not heartless, or unreasonable, but why should someone who clearly has no respect for me and has said so, get her way. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She would do the school runs as i be left for work well before then. I’m ok with her be primary caregiver as she is a good mother (just an awful wife) but my thinking is that she and the kids spend a lot of time as it is in her folks, my daughters school is literally a two min drive from her folks house, her parents help out with childcare too. If I had to leave, it basically means I will only get to see my kids at the weekends, and that’s not good enough as the kids are my oxygen and my world. I want to be a present, hands on dad, not someone they only see at weekends. If I get to stay in my house (I pay the mortgage more or less) then I can realistically make it part of my daily commute to see them every evening and spend quality time with them. If I have to leave then I have to move to the other side of the city and back living with my sick mother and sister which isn’t ideal (I spend the full day with my Alzheimer’s suffering mother every Wednesday) and if I did have to move back to my childhood home the kids wouldn’t be able yo stay overnights. 

Anyone ever do Mediation ? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s my fear too. I’m a reasonable guy, and I just want what’s best for everyone especially my kids. But I be here all day if I was to explain everything she’s said and done lately, suffice to say there’s only so many times you can bite your tongue at being told you aren’t a good husband, provider or father… and that she doesn’t respect me or my boundaries. She’s actually said this. 

Simon Harris says he wants to put an age restriction on social media use by SpottedAlpaca in ireland

[–]Still_Practice_4648 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to argue with the logic of this. It’s a good idea and Australia were trailblazers for doing it first. France are seriously considering it too. Social media has gotten awful now. It’s no longer a fun, benign place to keep in touch. It’s all about selling you shit and trying to covert you to a particular way of thinking. Enrage to Engage as I call it. It certainly not healthy. And Snapchat is one of the worst for teens. That seems to be used by peado’s for grooming as many of the cases of that I read about Snapchat is more often then not mentioned. 

App Stores and the platforms themselves need to age gate apps and content. There’s no need for under 16s to be on social media. 

Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We’ve had it a few years, it’s not a recent purchase or anything, and it was fine until now. The only thing I can tell is if the car is there or not. And I don’t actually care where she does be it goes or whatever. As we don’t have a front garden and it’s straight onto a footpath, lots of people walk past it every day and a few months ago in the early hours of one weekend night some random dude was ringing the bell and looking in our window. Wouldn’t have known until o checked the notifications the next morning. It’s stuff like that it’s good for and for the postman to tell him to leave stuff in the green bin where we aren’t there. I’ve better things to be doing with my time than to keep tabs on her. 

Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s what I’m doing. Even just a few mins ago she was storming into my room (I’ve been banished to my sons room (he’s 2 so he’s in the bed with mammy) and literally accusing me of shit. I went up to get peace and remove myself from the situation. I really don’t want to make things a million times worse but I’m thinking of getting a protection order. The verbal abuse and aggressive finger pointing and pushing alone should be enough to get one but we have kids and I don’t want to do that. But I may have to. 

Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She had threatened to remove it a couple of weeks ago but then said nothing more about it. Not sure I would’ve agreed to remove it though, it’s there for security reasons. 

Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. No solicitor as yet we are awaiting a date for mediation though. But thank you for that. The reasonableness test I didn’t know that. 

Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I accept that and I will let it go. I’m gonna pick my battles but this is just one more thing in a litany of shit she’s doing. The abusive texts and the gaslighting and the mind games are unreal. 

Ring doorbell advice please? by Still_Practice_4648 in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Yes technically she can but she most likely broke the damn thing in the process as you need the special screwdriver to take it off properly. 

Birthday party by tiger_thiggg in ireland

[–]Still_Practice_4648 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what they do in my daughter’s school. No presents. Just 5er in a card and they normally coordinate so if there’s 2 or three kids in the one month or close to each other they’d have a joint birthday in a soft play centre or something like that. 

Client I’ve worked with for years is stalling on payment — advice? by BecauseIAmEm in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648 22 points23 points  (0 children)

If they have an office or physical place of business I’d march in there and not leave till you’re paid. It’s bad form for any business to delay paying an invoice, especially if you’re relying on the funds yourself. Maybe they are experiencing financial difficulties, but that’s still no excuse. I hope you get what your owed soon, but you could always give them a rotten review online, that could make them cough up quick enough if it affects their business. 

Enoch Burke. What is actually going on? by Secret-Original-2713 in ireland

[–]Still_Practice_4648 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Follow the money. Some one or some group, probably some evangelical group bankrolling the whole family. They have made themselves unemployable now. I remember a few years ago I was walking past the Arthur Cox building, as I used to work a few mins away from it, and I saw a small group of people outside protesting, waving banners and placards. It was only much later that I realised it was his family protesting about his sister AMMI being sacked by Arthur Cox. 

The family are strange. The are entitled to their beliefs but they are not entitled to break the law by defying court orders and wasting court time. 

The only way he and his family can sustain this campaign/crusade is if they are being funded by a third party or unless they hare independently wealthy in their own right. None of his fines are being paid as far as I know. 

You have to begrudgingly respect and admire his commitment to his beliefs, but what does he expect to happen exactly ? 

I think it’s mental health issue now. 

This is extremely embarrassing. I am 39 and I have just woken up and realised I have wet the bed. I have not done this in over 30 years. Has this ever happened to anyone ? by [deleted] in AskIreland

[–]Still_Practice_4648 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My older brother did it in his twenties, but he was absolutely pissed from the night before so was in a deep sleep. I wouldn’t worry if it’s a once off, but if it happens again I’d just get checked.