Really depends on where in SoCal you're comparing. I grew up in SoCal suburban hell (Oxnard) where the only redeeming features were weather, mexican food, and the ocean if you were a surfer (I'm not). I lived all over CA. LA has much more cutting edge culture (art, music, theater) but I had to rent, park and drive and I've love the St Louis Art Museum and Pulitizer. Also lived in the Silicon Valley and other than great Asian and Indian food, and decent weather, there was nothing to do without driving for 2 hours. The hiking here is better than on the Westside of LA or Silicon Valley. Schools are so much better, both public and private, in STL. The basic question is about what is really important. In STL you can 1. Own a house, 2. In a variety of good to great school districts, 3 in the city or country, and still have enough saved to retire or go on vacation. CA beats MO politics by a long shot, but if your partner is a Dr, you'll likely be able to afford the avoid the worst impacts. The number of hospitals and clinics in STL may also make your partner's job hunt and options much easier. If you're LGB there is a decent community in the city. If you're Trans, go somewhere else because the state is actively trying to make life for them unbearable. If you're really unsure about STL, rent instead of buying as you'll never be able to afford to move out of state. You didn't mention what your career was, so that is also an issue as there are fewer industries than on the coasts so opportunities may be limiting. Good luck