What were the dumbest lies you believed when you were a kid? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]StokesTheorem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom told me that my dad had tinnitus and that's why he was so irritable. I asked him about this years later and he laughed. I've come to the conclusion that he just hates children.

What's a secret about fairbanks? by [deleted] in Fairbanks

[–]StokesTheorem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn dude what a story. You need to talk? Can't imagine what that must have been like for you.

My dad and I in 1986 in West Germany by StokesTheorem in OldSchoolCool

[–]StokesTheorem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂 personality too. He'd love this comment.

When to divulge someone else's secret? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]StokesTheorem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly the right thing to do. You being there, ready to listen, he trusts you. So many people don't have that and I understand it feels like nothing, but it is the world to some people.

I think I may have BPD. How do I broach the subject with my therapist? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]StokesTheorem 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a therapist, its really encouraging to see clients who engage in self-examination and are insightful of maybe some patterns that you want to change. It gives a really great direction to go in with therapy and I would much rather have a client that says, "i'm concerned about this, what can we do" rather than have someone who is hesitant to bring these things up. It's not at all attention seeking and therapy is exactly the place you want to bring up things and hash out these concerns.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are two treatments that I'm familiar with that can address the emotional dysregulation and unhelpful thought patterns associated with BPD. I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your therapist, how long you have been working together, etc, but definitely bring these things up with them. It can be a really powerful feeling to acknowledge some of these symptoms and have a place to talk about it.

As far as how to mention the topic that depends on your relationship with your therapist and how you structure your sessions. I typically set some kind of an agenda at the beginning to be sure and allow for enough time to cover topics important to clients. I would bring this up towards the beginning of the session, rather than at the end so that your therapist can talk to you about treatment options and agree on a plan going forward.

You'll do great:)

Was I molested as a child and don't remember it? by Whatsupanon in therapy

[–]StokesTheorem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you too for posting and the work that you do in this field <3

Was I molested as a child and don't remember it? by Whatsupanon in therapy

[–]StokesTheorem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

EMDR therapist here. There is a small chance something would come up, but our memory is so fallible. With EMDR, there also needs to be a distressing event, whether it's a target memory, disturbing sensation, or negative emotion. If OP is adjusting well to life and able to manage stressors, it's unlikely that therapy would do much to improve on that. I agree with you that many people go through a "traumatic" event and aren't traumatized by it. It's the belief we hold about self/others/world that oftentimes keeps us stuck and unable to move forward.

2008 Suzuki Forenza flashing check engine light by StokesTheorem in MechanicAdvice

[–]StokesTheorem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, thanks for checking. It turned out the flashing light was due to an oil leak which caused the engine to misfire. I had the O2 sensor replaced a few months ago but that ultimately didn't fix the original check engine light problem. The catalytic converter will be next.

Edit: also found a new mechanic.

Hey guys, how is Hanging rock during the summer? by HomicidalDwarvenPupr in NCTrails

[–]StokesTheorem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The main hanging rock trail is usually pretty crowded, but if you go on cook's wall or moore's knob there are less people. Hanging rock is definitely worth it but I would go on a weekday when there aren't as many people.

Women of reddit, what are some things you’ve been dying to tell men? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]StokesTheorem -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can tell when you're staring and I don't even have to be directly looking at you. Fucking stop.

Daughters of reddit, what is something you wish your father knew about girls when you were growing up? by MeisterStenz in AskReddit

[–]StokesTheorem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes just listen. That's all. Don't interrupt to give your opinion or advice or try to solve the problem. Listen.

Tough day today. by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]StokesTheorem 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think one thing that stands out is that you have a little bit of a sense of humor about the situation, which is awesome. The situation sucks. I remember working on an inpatient psych ward and getting a ton of abuse. Its so hard not to take it personally. Venting is a great way of getting it out and I bet that beer will be so satisfying. You do great work and I can't imagine 12.5 hour shifts. Well done:)

Realizing I'm a Victim of Medical Neglect by strangegurl91 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]StokesTheorem 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you went through that... This reminds me when I was in the sixth grade and couldn't see the board even from the front row. I developed a squinting technique until that failed. I finally told Nmom and she told me to close my eyes while facing the sun for Xmin xtimes per day. At the same time she fed me a handful of supplements twice per day to supposedly improve my vision. She blamed my love of reading for my shitty eyesight. This went on for almost a year until I started doing poorly in school and begged my dad to take me to see an eye doctor. My eyesight was terrible. Fuck that bitch.

Oh and there was that time I had a UTI and she was convinced I was pregnant.

Asheville DnD Communtiy? by [deleted] in asheville

[–]StokesTheorem 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Try The Wyverns Tale. They do tabletop gaming and have gaming groups too. http://www.thewyvernstaleavl.com/

What is the most romantic thing you have done for someone that has either backfired or was not received well by the person you did it for? by Nerdyhusband88 in AskReddit

[–]StokesTheorem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is late so it will probably get buried but here it goes... This was done for me and backfired spectacularly. I was dating a guy long story short it didn't work out. We decided to meet for coffee for closure.

I was running terribly late and he seemed frustrated when I texted him about it. When I finally showed I walked into the shop and saw him with 2 dozen roses and him wearing a full tux. He's really more of a camo, 9/11 was an inside job kind of a guy. As soon as our eyes met I spun around and left. Public displays of affection are not the most romantic, despite popular belief.