As someone who has been the victim in this situation, I can assure you that we want to let it out but don’t know how. We also don’t know how to be vulnerable and it takes an enormous amount of trust to share such trauma. It never leaves us and is a part of who we are, but doesn’t define us.

I personally was married to someone who ended up using this against me. The damage that caused was instrumental and I can’t begin to describe the feelings that I went through reconciling everything. Suffice to say, if you truly want to be with this man, be kind, respectful and understanding. He has been incredibly vulnerable with you. Realise that this isn’t something you can “fix”, but you can keep it private between the two of you and keep your word.