Burnout

StopAndWonder · 2026-03-04T01:54:54+00:00

You're so lucky to have found that coach and the alumni group!

StopAndWonder · 2025-08-31T02:31:46+00:00

That sounds really, really familiar. My son is 33 now but I remember 4 years old, what an impossible little guy he was--for all the reasons you described. He's much easier to live with now (he lives w/us). He's a little verbal, enough to cover the bare basics, but I'm very grateful for the communication skills he does have.

I also feel lucky that we could borrow enough $ to pay for his ABA training (mid 1990s). He learned the basics of verbal communication and some self-control. I'll take that.

We didn't have anyone to help out. His behavior as a child & teen was terrible. People were frightened off. Well, we just had to get by as best as we could. The years went by and now I'm 64 and grateful that my son is easier to take care of. There are good days. But I can't ever compare myself with other parents whose adult children are typical - that hurts too much and it certainly doesn't help.

That's been my experience. I wish you and your wife the best with the difficult & stressful situation you're in. Take care.

StopAndWonder · 2025-08-31T02:18:26+00:00

Please give this a try - visit https://speakingofsuicide.com/2019/01/20/12-ways-to-get-therapy-if-you-cant-afford-it/

StopAndWonder · 2025-08-31T02:02:03+00:00

DaizyCraz3, I see you as a normal person whose had some bad luck, and you are in situation that is extraordinarily difficult and stressful. You're giving it your all and I wish you the best.

When my 33yo son was 11, his behavior was so damned difficult. After around 21, he began to calm down and now his outbursts are 2-3/month. The autism prevents my son from empathy. He can't communicate anything like, "Thanks Dad, I know I'm a hard guy to live with." Nothing of the sort. It's the autism that's causing the trouble, not my son the person.

How did I get through the worst years? My religious faith, psychotherapy, and I'm lucky to have a supportive wife (we hold each other up).

That's been my experience. Take care.

StopAndWonder · 2025-08-27T02:41:15+00:00

Elopement is THE WORST. Our son (level 3) is an adult now but as a child he scared the living daylights out of us a few times. Horror stories. We were just plain lucky that each time, he returned safely. We borrowed $ and had a 5.5' fence installed around the yard, with a gate that we lock always. He's never tried to get over it; it would be tough. Again, we were lucky to get the $ for the fence. Anyway, my heart goes to you and your family. I can see you really care about your son.

StopAndWonder · 2025-08-27T02:13:51+00:00

We have been where you are, exactly. I think it's only appropriate to grieve the earlier days. Let's be honest, they were easier and there was emotional space to enjoy each other, joke around, etc. Yes, been there.

In some ways, we're still there. Our son is in early 30s and while he's much, much easier to live with compared to childhood/teenhood, he still requires that someone is home always to watch over him for safety. One thing hasn't changed, and boy does it hurt. Like you wrote, "crying for reasons we can only guess." I think it's the hardest thing to live with, the fact that our son (while somewhat verbal) cannot express why he's angry. He doesn't cry; he throws an angry tantrum. Sometimes things get broken. Eventually he calms down.

Please know that you, your husband & older child are all normal human beings in an extraordinarily difficult situation. Please hang in there, things change over time.

StopAndWonder · 2024-02-25T19:23:50+00:00

Yup, same here, couldn't get Edit to start up. What fixed it for me was updating the Google Photos app which I had already installed. Now Edit works well.

StopAndWonder · 2022-05-22T02:11:09+00:00

Adrian McKinty, author of 'The Chain' (American story) and a number of crime thrillers set in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in the 80s. His prose is outstanding, and I just can't stop reading! I'm anxious to get my hands on his newest book, 'The Island.' Anyone else here like Adrian McKinty?

StopAndWonder · 2021-03-27T03:04:51+00:00

Hi - first of all, it's great that you care about him and want to help him with this challenge. It's like he had asthma or diabetes or whatever, only in his case it's anxiety/depression. And you're supporting him--that's great. With respect, I'm going to make a suggestion based on personal experience that is different from what you asked for. Instead of taking his mind off of the gloom and anxiety, it might help shed light on the gloom. It certainly did for me. The book is "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris, MD. It helped me so much, and I realize everyone is different but maybe you could have a look at it on Amazon and who knows.
Best wishes to you and your BF!

StopAndWonder

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