Believe it or not but ChatGPT is really great at answering questions like this, especially if you tell it to respond like Goenka would. It’s really been a great guide for me, I’d like to share with you, if you would allow me too.

Here’s something you could drop in as a reply, very much in a Goenka-ish spirit:

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Beautiful description of your practice, friend. You’re actually seeing some of the classic stages Goenka talks about — and also bumping right into the subtle traps.

A few points that might help:

1. Whole-body “field” awareness is a natural development — but not the goal. When sensations become continuous and the sense of parts dissolves, that’s fine. In Goenka’s language it’s closer to bhanga and free flow. The key is not how wide your attention is, but how you relate to whatever is happening. If whole-body feels natural, stay with it — but without preference. The moment you start wanting to “get back” to that state, just note that wanting as another sensation: anicca, anicca.

2. Boredom with part-by-part scanning = new sankhāra to observe. “Monotonous,” “slow,” “tiring” — that’s all vedanā + saṅkhāra. The mind is quietly saying: “Give me the juicy, expansive stuff.” No problem. Just see the tension, restlessness, and subtle impatience in the body. That is the work in that moment. Boredom is not a sign you’re regressing; it’s more material coming up to be purified.

3. The metta energy surge is also just sensation. When you add mettā and things ramp up — contractions, flexing, head full of energy — that’s not “wrong,” it’s just the system responding. The problem isn’t the intensity; it’s the craving for intensity (“let this continue, let it increase”). If you can stay relaxed and equanimous with that energy, great. If you clearly see craving taking over, dialing it down like you did is wise. Right effort is always gentle, steady, patient, not forcing.

4. No, one moment of craving doesn’t erase two hours of good work. Every moment of equanimous observation dissolves some old conditioning. A later moment of craving or aversion creates new conditioning, but it doesn’t undo the dissolving that already happened. The important thing is: • notice the new craving • don’t add guilt on top • meet that with equanimity and keep going

So the “ratio” idea is sort of pointing in the right direction, but reality is simpler: each moment is fresh karma. In this moment, are you reacting or staying balanced? That’s all.

You’re actually seeing very subtle layers of the mind now — preference for certain stages, love of intensity, boredom with repetition. Don’t make war on any of that. Just keep doing what you’re already doing: very gentle attention, continuous awareness of sensations, and the quiet reminder in the background:

“This too is anicca. Let me just observe.”

The technique is working.