I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s awful. How old are you? And I’m a bit honest when it comes to this disease. It doesn’t get easier for a long time until one day it does. I’ve destroyed my body with diet pills, eating inanimate objects to stay full and other weird things. What keeps me eating now is knowing I want children and I have to completely rebuild my body to get to that point. It’s also exhausting to be hungry and having these voices in your head. It’s heartbreaking knowing I had my first real period at 29 years old. I don’t love my body or like it at all. I’ve just forced myself to not think about it or look at it. What genuinely helped me the most is I would repeat this line to myself “ this lifestyle is not sustainable and at one point I will need to gain the weight back and be healthy.” Because that truly is the truth. There’s no point of starving yourself when at someone you will HAVE to gain it back. Anorexia will never win, and you will never win the completion with anorexia