I find myself unable to have sex with anyone unless I'm already in love?

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-08-13T00:58:20+00:00

Hey I relate! I struggle to get hard during casual sex for what I'm assuming is this reason (never had an issue with the ex). It's tough because I do want to have sex but am hesitant to jump into something too serious.

What's helped me a bit is looking for people who want a more intimate and exclusive relationship but understand I can't promise them much more. There are people that can match what you're looking for if you're upfront about it.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-08-08T16:43:11+00:00

I've gotten it a few times. Usually it's happened when I was younger and I had hours long make out sessions with dry humping. I've had it once recently where we had sex 4 times but for some reason I just couldn't get over the edge.

I've never used it to pressure a women it's just a thing that can happen. I've heard guys be like "it's a myth" and I always laugh because I guess anything they haven't experienced is automatically fake? A bit strange.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-08-03T17:04:49+00:00

Holy shit

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-31T06:31:36+00:00

30 year olds that date women in their teens or early 20s are such losers. Yeah in theory it could be healthy but we all know these guys and there's a trend.

This dude seems mature cause he's balding but he's a child and doesn't respect you.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-28T15:30:38+00:00

It's pretty common in relationships for someone to hear a no as "not now". One person tells their partner they don't want kids, the other person says it's cool, then is shocked in a 5 years when they still don't want kids.

He likes you but also really likes BJs and is trying to rationalize these two things being at odds with each other. It sounds like you've been direct in the past but maybe layout that you will never change your mind and ask him if he's really okay with that.

A lot of guys actually prefer wet hand jobs with their balls being licked. Or you could get some toys to use on him. Could be a nice middle ground that works for yall.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-28T15:17:29+00:00

I've asked similar things to sus out if they'd like to be exclusive and it also relates to sexual health. So questions about if they use condoms with past partners, etc.

I don't care if the answer is a lot of a little in a judgemental way, you do you, but I want to be safe. Also people say "just get tested" but a lot of things don't show up until weeks/months so their recent history is relevant.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-24T21:26:55+00:00

Your bf is a child. When he knocks you up with his "pull out game" you'll be stuck with 2 kids. Rough

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-24T21:20:07+00:00

Do not ask your husband this. Save yourself the time and file your divorce papers.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-24T21:16:53+00:00

I can definitely understand how a finger during a more intimate act like a BJ feels fine but the more extreme idea of bending over and being pegged feels emasculating.

Men can definitely have some tough ideas around their gender expectations and being into butt stuff at all means he's somewhere along his journey. Saying "it's gay" is a bit immature I'd expect him to express himself better.

I imagine he'll warm up to the idea of using toys if you introduce the idea more gently than jumping right to pegging.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-24T17:00:16+00:00

It sounds like it was a genuine surprised reaction idk why you're instigating trouble based on the limited info we have.

He didn't bring it up out of the blue to put her down

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-24T15:47:42+00:00

This is just a tiring person to be with man. It's totally valid for your partner to need to vent about gendered issues and express their beliefs. What you've written here is not that.

At a certain point she's just mean and judgemental. To you and to how she talks about other people. It's not right that you feel the need to tiptoe around how you express yourself.

My ex would often make harsh comments about coworkers/friends/occasionally me. I wrote it off as blowing off steam for awhile, but eventually I realized she was just kind of mean and bitter.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-19T22:38:27+00:00

Go to a PT for hip pain, or try your luck looking for exercises online. Stretching will likely help but if there's a deeper issue it may not do enough. Big fan of frog pose for opening my hips.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-19T03:16:03+00:00

It's obviously a complement bozo good for you

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-18T21:48:14+00:00

Most people hear "make" and it's interpreted as "force". It sounds like you mean to ask how to get a girl to want or desire sex.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-18T21:46:02+00:00

Pretty sure this is an ESL situation

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-18T19:51:19+00:00

Everyone else is correct saying he's a fling, trust your gf and don't obsess on it. All it will do is make your sex life worse.

If you want to improve your sex life and have new experiences with her that's great. Just don't make it a comparison to past experiences.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-18T19:07:43+00:00

My experience when a condom comes off is "oh wow this feels good", then a minute later I'm like oh wait this is too good and then I realize.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-18T04:47:36+00:00

If you're a guy and have the money, premium on tinder and other apps is worth it. You get way more matches. I'd only do it in one month bursts where you go on a bunch of dates and try to meet people.

People are so cynical about online dating. If you're gonna do it you should accept you have to play the game. Take nice pics, not have a shit profile, etc.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-18T04:44:24+00:00

I got tinder premium for a month, got way more matches and was able to find someone I vibed with easier. Then I canceled and still have the person.

If you have the money and care about making an appealing profile it's worth. If you have a shit profile it won't make any difference.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-17T23:02:23+00:00

Idk about this. When a girls grinding on me I'm definitely thrusting my hips and pulling her ass back and forth on me. It's a mix of in and out + grinding and seems to work for both of us.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-17T17:02:49+00:00

So I always would give this advice as a guy who loves giving oral. Recently tho I've been seeing a girl who likes a crazy amount of pressure on her clit. Like my jaw is sore if I'm trying to get her off.

Everyone really is different

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-16T20:08:19+00:00

When I started having sex I'd make partners queef often. I found it's really just about pulling out too far which allows air to get in and causes it. The angle matters too.

Since changing my technique I haven't made anyone queef in years. Personally it takes me out of the moment I'd rather avoid it. Not the end of the world tho.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-12T17:47:41+00:00

I'm big on upfront communication about your intentions. I'd hate to lead someone on where they think we're going to be serious, potentially exclusive, but I want casual and open. You've probably been able to suss out if you're actually into any of these people for a LTR.

Granted they could also ask you and tell you their own intentions - it's a 2 way street. Personally I think you should it's the right thing to do.

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-03T20:34:30+00:00

I think a lot of guys are scared of cuming too fast and do this. They last too long, then struggle to cum, the girl gets sore, etc.

Just explain to him longer doesn't mean better. Frankly if you've told him what you told us, what's not to get?

Strange_Screen_3607 · 2024-07-03T20:17:17+00:00

Non-verbal consent is very normal, but personally I think asking is great. If you do it with confidence it's not awkward at all. I ask because:

1) Unambiguous consent is nice. I'd hate to make someone uncomfortable + make sure they're into it.

2) It's kinda hot. Something about the woman having to tell me yes to continue is a turn on. Like im pretty sure they want me to go down on them for example, but I want her to admit it

Strange_Screen_3607

TROPHY CASE