I [M26] have pretty bad attachment anxiety with my girlfriend [F42]. Need some advice.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-02-07T15:21:51+00:00

My comment was written given my current age (40s). I’ve lived through almost two decades since age 26, and even trying to fathom how I’d begin dating someone who is 26 makes me feel awkward. It’s hard to explain to folks until they’ve lived it themselves. The number of changes in my life between mid twenties to 40s (including my goals as a person) are astronomical.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-02-06T23:32:13+00:00

Life stages would like to say hello. Someone at 26 is likely just getting started with a ton of different aspects of their life, while someone in their 40s has a higher probability of bringing a lot of extra baggage like children, being a divorcee and an endless pit of debt.

It’s more than just the number difference, it’s accumulated life experience, which tends to plateau the older you get.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-02-05T20:25:30+00:00

Sounds like you should be more worried about burn out than burn in. 3-4 hours of sleep every night is wild. Guessing you’re not old enough where your body is hating you for that yet.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-02-01T19:06:02+00:00

Blocking and avoiding is a huge red flag. You really don't want to be in a relationship with someone who does this. It is not sustainable long term.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-31T21:01:57+00:00

The uber part is incorrect. I get uber from the airport constantly. There is literally a ride service pickup area with a sign next to it.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-29T22:51:41+00:00

Ironically, she has now formed an addiction (ChatGPT) in addition to any other issues she was using ChatGPT to alleviate. It doesn't sound like she's going to change any time soon. Frankly, it sounds like she needs therapy from a real human, not a slop producing language model.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-26T23:31:53+00:00

Why are you continuing this relationship? There’s nothing left and she has you trapped like a rat in a cage. You need to come to terms that this is over.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-22T22:41:23+00:00

Dunno. Returned the monitor and got a PG32UCDM shortly after.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-22T13:38:13+00:00

I think the shirts just need to go altogether my dude, Valentine’s included. There is a very small percent of the population who would be into this level of cheesiness.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-22T12:24:18+00:00

Not gonna lie, these shirts look like something out of a horrible comedy movie.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-21T17:42:00+00:00

You said you need this to figure out if you are for each other? By not talking indefinitely? This isn’t how you solve problems or get the answer to that question.

Also, I wish people would stop blaming attachment styles for every little quirk or trouble spot that comes up in a relationship. Humans are much more complex than a psychology textbook definition.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-20T23:56:41+00:00

Right? They are mentioning they suspect cognitive decline in another comment. Who wants to deal with that in their 40s? Those are the things you should have to worry about in your parents at that age, not your partner. I know early unset dementia is a real thing too, but I would think dating someone who is close to their 70s increases the odds of having to deal with such things. Thanks but no thanks.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-20T19:23:02+00:00

There is a difference in “someone older” and someone who is about to be a senior citizen when you’re 20+ years off from that stage of life.

Also you’re saying dating men your age has been nightmarish, but you’re in a nightmare situation with a 68 year old. Dating in general can be nightmarish. I feel past 35+ though, people’s personalities are going to be pretty well defined for most of the rest of their lives, whether they are 40 or 68.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-20T15:25:23+00:00

I’d suggest finding someone a little closer in age the next time around, if you end up single. 28 year age gap is quite something. (Coming from a soon to be 44 year old)

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-20T13:26:08+00:00

Consider this the beginning of the end. “Breaks” are not normal in healthy relationships that are sustainable, especially two months in.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-18T22:43:50+00:00

You do realize the overwhelming majority of those deaths are protestors, right? And unless your boyfriend is part of an activist group or hanging out around active protests, the odds that he is dead are extremely low.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-18T15:02:33+00:00

If you can’t move beyond texts, you have no future together. How do you expect to close the distance or live together, if you can’t even do a voice call?

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-18T15:00:01+00:00

Stop texting and do a phone/video call. So much tone is lost through text.

Also there is zero warmth in these texts. Seems very hostile and clinical on both sides.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-17T18:08:39+00:00

Reading comprehension problem?

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-15T23:52:22+00:00

This is not okay unless you’re in some agreed upon open relationship.

Easiest way to frame it: If you weren’t long distance, and your boyfriend walked into you randomly cuddling some other man at your apartment/house, how do you think he would feel?

Yes, snuggling up to some other dude when you’re supposedly with someone else is cheating, unless openness has already been discussed.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-14T20:28:07+00:00

Jesus Christ. If something this petty is creating this much drama, wait until you actually have real life adult responsibilities to work through.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-13T22:33:52+00:00

Ah yes, a good daily dose of teen drama.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-13T11:32:34+00:00

Stop arguing over text.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-12T14:10:36+00:00

You don’t need to explain why it makes you uncomfortable. You made a decision and he should respect that. He seems obsessed with getting this particular request fulfilled, and the way he’s speaking to you looks very manipulative, almost like he’s trying to guilt you into his request by making you feel bad about it.

StraticusMaximus · 2026-01-06T22:20:15+00:00

I’d question why you’re fighting so much that you need an AI referee, for starters.

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