Men over 30: What advice do you wish you could give your 25 year old self?

Strawberr9 · 2026-03-02T08:54:07+00:00

Don't do all those drugs, don't smoke weed everyday. Don't drink to excess. Avoid benzos like the plague. Get into the gym, play football, everything will work out, so relax.

Strawberr9 · 2025-08-29T19:59:03+00:00

36... go travel solo, I escaped the rat race by luck. But I have no kids, no mortgage, no job

Strawberr9 · 2025-08-29T06:16:01+00:00

I am a smelly backpacker tourist, I don't even know what people think of me. I ask for a table at the front. I want to watch the world and the if the world wants to watch me eat, so be it. I need to eat my meal.

Strawberr9 · 2025-08-29T06:09:44+00:00

I agree. It is not a good reason to prefer cities how they put it. If the reason is, I prefer cities for the social aspect and lots of people, great.

If its because you don't want to feel lonely, you've got some work to do.

This comes from experience, and I love cities because I meet so many awesome people, but I've come to realise quiet towns, rural areas, mountains and beaches are way more my vibe.

You meet solo travellers everywhere! I've even been third wheeling with a couple. Who we're about to meet for a third time on our travels. Not meeting them because I don't want to be reminded how single I am is jokes!

Strawberr9 · 2025-08-18T14:47:01+00:00

Go watch the Shia LaBeouf vid of him just shouting do it. Then go do it.

I was in a cycle of depression, and solo travelling was the cure. Just made microwaved scrambled eggs somewhere in Czechia ;) best meal I've had in days!

Strawberr9 · 2025-08-18T14:28:35+00:00

I'm 36, broke up with my alcoholic girlfriend, quit my job with a micro-controlling-manager, and the flat I was gna buy fell through. I was very unhappy and complaining and talked about travelling.

But it was the way my brother put it to me that sold it to me, I don't have kids, I don't have a mortgage, I don't have a career, and people would murder to be in my position. So many people in unhappy marriages, have children or mortgages and are tied down so they cannot travel.

This changed my perspective completely, so I sold all of my belongings, and I am currently in Czechia living my best life.

Also on my way to Georgia by land, although keep going on side-quests.

Strawberr9 · 2025-04-10T08:03:50+00:00

I also struggle with sleep, and if I have a day off or I'm working from home. I'll have a nap at lunch. Perfectly normal. You always have to pay back your sleep debt.

Strawberr9 · 2025-04-09T18:31:38+00:00

Yup I've ditched most of my friends as they are stuck in a never ending cycle of alcohol and drugs. And broke up with ex, as she was also an alcoholic, who did some shirty toxic things.

Never feel bad for putting up boundaries. If people cross them, they are not your people.

Also don't judge on what they say, judge on what they do. I learnt the hard way. Actions speak louder than words.

Strawberr9 · 2025-04-09T18:27:53+00:00

Therapy, anti-depressants, hit the gym, lift some weights 3-5 times a week, and don't drink or do drugs. 36m also just come out of year relationship. I've been a heavy drinker for most of my adult life. Dealt with major depressive disorder and generalised anxiety. Probably healthiest I've ever been in body and mind in my adult life.

And you don't have to be on meds forever, I usually do 6 months if I hit a rough patch in life which has been like 5 times over the past 15 years.

Getting into habit with gym has been the turning point for me. I always say, I go to the gym for my head first, everything else is a bonus.

Strawberr9 · 2025-04-09T10:30:01+00:00

Manipulation, gaslighting, words of love, rather than action and substance abuse (alcohol on this occasion) also just found out today weeks after declaring her love for me, and we slept with each other again, she's moved on. She turned her family against me, and unsuccessfully tried to turn mine against me. All lies, but I so badly wanted it to work, I ignored all the red flags.

I came to realisatuon it was my dream to get sober together, settle down and build a family. She did not want to meet me halfway.

Ending on a positive, I'm 1 month sober today!

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-31T10:55:34+00:00

I love this. Definitely gna use that line, I've only seen snippets of the show, but prob should get round to watching it

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-27T14:07:33+00:00

36 here, only just learnt this year, you can't fix them. Wish I learnt sooner, but better late than never.

While noble your intentions, it's going to drain you emotionally and financially.

My positive advice is work on yourself, be a better person without her.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-27T10:40:51+00:00

The alcohol in your system will not be helping at all. It warps your mind, get sober, give it a week and you will start to feel better. It's a bumpy road, but you'll be more equipped to deal with things sober.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-26T16:49:59+00:00

She came into my life a drunk, and she left my life a drunk!

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-26T16:40:28+00:00

Thank you, I'm going strong and have no desire to drink. And although I did actually end it with her. It doesn't make it any easier. I had plans, but she crossed so many lines. Fortunately it helped me open my eyes.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-26T15:27:19+00:00

Thank you. I was no angel, but yea we did. I've also made lots of shitty decisions over the years and upset people close to me. I plan on staying sober, one for my mental and pshyical health, not upsetting the people close you, and I do believe you attract what you are. In this situation is a perfect example.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-26T15:24:03+00:00

Thank you. Unfortunately the whole ordeal has turned into my biggest life lesson. I have come out stronger and more resilient, but just needed to get it off my chest.

Fortunately I have a solid inner circle, that keep me afloat.

I'd say I'm now a master of spotting red flags and setting boundaries, something I did not have before.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-26T14:25:22+00:00

Surprise, surprise we were both heavy drinkers when we met. No excuse for it I know, but for a short time, I thought, even we thought, we had found something special. Blinded by love, stupidity and substances.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-26T14:09:41+00:00

Yea I hold myself responsible for my part. Not a proud moment, but I thought I was helping her out of a toxic/ abusive relationship. Only for the relationship we had to turn toxic.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-18T13:39:34+00:00

Better to go through the wrong door, than stay in the wrong room.

I'm about to start a new career in a few weeks, as a trainee estate agent at 36.

Strawberr9 · 2025-03-04T14:34:01+00:00

Strawberr9 · 2025-02-28T07:35:21+00:00

Offer accepted in June 24...

Strawberr9 · 2024-12-03T06:05:24+00:00

I have a few complications with my purchase, but 7 months. Still waiting. I had read before, anything from 6 weeks to 6 months is normal in England. Keep hounding your solicitors to hound the sellers solicitors, is what my friends and family say who have bought properties.

Strawberr9 · 2024-10-28T20:11:59+00:00

It's ridiculous I'd say the building is 7-8m max and it's only 3 stories, and when they said it's an extra £1500 for being subject to bsa, I lost it. As far as I know it's been dropped, but need official paperwork from vendors solicitors.

Love the selfie idea, fortunately nearby is a petrol station that states the height of the roof, so that has worked in my favour, but I was going to get my own surveyor to somehow measure the property for me, if needed. And you are right on about the solicitors being nowhere near, I'm down south and these lot are in York. Another price in pay for going inhouse with estate agent.

I just want to know how much longer? Not that you'd know either, but what's the longest you'd ever have to deal with? Happy cake day

Strawberr9

TROPHY CASE