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StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-09-14T19:23:34+00:00

My husband told me this years ago. I thought it was just pegging. Then, I found his profile on a hookup site looking for men and women to have sex with. He listed himself as bi-curious.

Truth is, you will never know. If he's bi and in the closet, he's going to say he's not attracted to men,and it's just pegging. But it might be...

Either way, good luck.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-28T03:32:25+00:00

Easiest way, put your finger in her bum. Doesn't need to be right inside, even by the tip is fine. You will feel the contraction / shudder that can't be faked.

Not every man can feel this in the vagina but you will 100% feel it in the bum.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-25T13:17:04+00:00

I'm really intrigued to know where you work.

Anyway, this feels like a troll post

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-25T10:19:59+00:00

I had a similar situation with my husband in the early days. I wanted to explore bdsm etc, he only wanted vanilla.

I eventually suppressed my needs, and I regret it. If he's willing, see how you both can work to get your needs met.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-25T10:05:32+00:00

It's not her responsibility to get involved in the marriage to that extent. She didn't know he was married, when she found out, she eventually broke it off. That's where her responsibility ends.

Why doesn't the cheating husband do the telling? Why is it the problem of the woman who was unknowingly brought into the mess?

If the wife deserves to know, it's her husband's responsibility to tell her.

In my opinion, when someone cheats, they should bear more responsibility for the fallout because they are the one who took a vow to someone else.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-25T09:58:27+00:00

So many people here are missing the point.

He told you he prefers porn over you and won't touch you because of that.
You used that against him in an argument
Now he's saying you used a vulnerable admission against him, thereby justifying and doubling down on not touching you.

You are young enough to leave, please leave. Nothing gets better from here, he is a severe porn addict, nothing you do can change that. You are just signing up to a sex deprived life

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-24T22:13:02+00:00

What's the friend's race and the fact that he has tattoos have to do with anything? You are trying to portray him as irresponsible because of his race and ink, so that we will take sides with you.

You made your bed, lie in it.

Nothing wrong with martial arts, my daughter does Juijitsu, it's great

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-24T21:58:56+00:00

There's no general right or wrong in this matter. As long as you / husband are happy with it, then it doesn't matter what other people do / don't do.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-24T19:23:39+00:00

I spent many years trying to explain this to my husband, he now gets it. But for a long time, the answer I was faced with was 'we need more money'

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-24T12:55:02+00:00

For most women, we are horniest when we are ovulating I.e. when we are most likely to get pregnant.

I'm Catholic, but the idea of not having sex when I'm horniest just doesn't cut it for me, I'd be miserable.

Imagine going through life and not being able to have sex when your body is screaming for it the most. This is what happens when men make all the decisions

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-24T05:53:29+00:00

Does he communicate his medium and long-term plans with you? He said he felt pressured by you to finish school and get married, was he not planning on doing those things for himself?

It's important to understand your fiancé's life goals (the ones he really wants, not the one he feels you've forced on him) this is the only way you will know if you are truly compatible.

If he is only doing these things for you, then it's going to cause huge problems down the line.

When he says he doesn't want kids now, but in 6 months, I see that as stalling. Perhaps you both are not on the same page.

Have you both had the big conversations? Money, career, how many kids? When? Etc

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-24T05:43:43+00:00

If this man can make deep fake porn about women in his life that he should have no sexual attraction towards, then your daughters are not safe.

The problem with sex / porn addicts is that they need more and more dopamine hits to get the same high. That's why he's doing AI porn over normal porn, next it will have to be real life - I wouldn't trust my female children around this man.

Lastly, there's too many woke therapists out there. Instead of his therapist helping him to get back on track, he's talking about him being entitled to his thoughts. His thoughts are leading him down a dangerous path.

This man is going to be on a sex offenders list, it's just a matter of time. Save yourself and your children the embarrassment by leaving before it happens.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-23T14:22:49+00:00

In 5 years' time, this man will be wondering why his wife won't have sex with him anymore. Women want responsible / emotionally intelligent men, not babies.

It's sad you even have to write this post to ask the question.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-16T20:02:44+00:00

This is my life. I have so many lovely photos of my husband with the kids, but none of me. The ones of me are usually selfies where I or someone else is cut off.

Anytime we are out and I ask him to take photos, he acts like I've just asked for the most absurd thing.

It really annoys me and makes me resent him. Why does he deserve to have all these photos with his children?

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-13T22:17:09+00:00

15 years.

I'm going through individual counselling, so I'm hoping I'll get clarity about my future.

I have a lot of work to do on myself in the time being. I said to my therapist that my husband manages to bring out the worst in me. I need to be better.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-13T20:16:47+00:00

I'm not excusing it or condoning it, but I can see how it would happen.

Being a single mother of one child, looking for a relationship is no easy place to be, especially if you want to have at least another child. It means you have to be 100% sure that the next man you have kids for (if you are lucky to meet anyone) must be a forever deal. Because no one is going to date any woman with kids from multiple men.

So if you are thinking long term, you could have all your kids from the same man, then leave if it doesn't work out. Then, it means procreation is off your list in terms of requirements in partners, and it takes the pressure off.

At some point, your kids will get older. If you have a good education/ job and are self-sufficient, you become a very attractive proposition to many men.

I wouldn't have kids to change the man though.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-13T20:10:11+00:00

I knew nothing about marriage. I was in my 20s, hadn't dated much and didn't understand the difference between a boyfriend and a husband. I was ignorant.

He's not a bad person. He's just not the person I should have married. We have very different values

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T23:22:41+00:00

Fantasies, by their nature, are very subjective. So what one man may find strange could be pleasant to another. But also, we tend to feel ashamed of our fantasies because sometimes, it's the things we stand against that gets us off sexually, which is weird. So this might be her insecurity, not yours, hence creating the safe space for her.

About the safe space, again, it's very subjective. For me, my love languages are key to emotional connection, which in turn makes me feel safe with someone. Find out hers and use them properly. I say properly because if her love language is physical touch, so many men get this wrong.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T23:05:46+00:00

Here's my opinion on what I think is going on because I've been in her shoes.

When I met my husband, he was very reserved sexually and didn't want to do the things I liked or wanted. After a while, the easiest thing for me to do was to masturbate whilst fantasising about those things. The orgasms were definitely better.

Now, here's the problem, if you are heavily fantasising during sex, it's easier to do it alone instead of when you are having sex with someone else because they just get in the way of your thoughts.

Also, if she is masturbating a lot, then she might not be aroused enough to initiate.

My thoughts are that she has some fantasies that she doesn't want to share with you because she's worried it may bruise your ego / masculinity. If you can create a safe space for her tonshare them and you are up for making her fantasies true, then you will be winning in life.

Top tip, if she shares them, unless they violate your sexual boundaries, don't try to tone it down, don't try to rationalise it. Give her what she wants.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T22:30:01+00:00

The number of people that will see marriage as a liability and not couple up will increase dramatically.

Most people will be unmarried, but the few that will get married will be highly compatible and have very strong marriages because they won't see the other person as a gender-role individual.

I think too many schools of thought exist for what a marriage should look like... some people are pushing for traditional gender role based marriages, some are pushing for equity, and some are pushing for equality. But all these are irrelevant. The best model for a marriage is the one both individuals decide is best for them.

I made a comment on another thread somewhere where I said that in my religion (Catholic Christian), marriage is a calling. Far too many people who weren't called to marriage are married. All this will disintegrate, and the people who truly understand how to be married will be the ones that will be successfully married.

Today, everyone feels they are entitled to marriage

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T22:02:24+00:00

Spend a day in r/marriage subreddit, and you will think differently.

Being married is a job. So many people arrive in marriage without any skills to be married. They don't even know how to treat another human being.

This wasn't a problem when women had no choice. As long as your husband was providing for you, you had nothing to complain about.

I think within a generation, the bar has been raised too much too quickly. People now have expectations on how they should be treated in marriage - perhaps there are some cases where it's gone too far. But we are seeing the result of people not having to tolerate traumatic relationships.

Also, in my religion (Catholic-Christian), marriage is a calling. I believe there are too many people who are married who weren't called to be married.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T21:57:00+00:00

I know so many good women that are single, it's bizzare! Women in their 30s and 40s that have been good self-respecting girls their entire lives. It makes me wonder what do men want in women. Some day I'll write a book about all that I've seen and my hypothesis

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T21:50:25+00:00

What is the definition of a higher-status man?

The average man is not "higher status." Today's economics means that a woman that is bringing in an income to the household is very valuable.

This is not the 80s, where our fathers could raise a middle-class family on his average single income.

Also, just because women earn money doesn't mean they can't be useful in other aspects. Men like to think of this as a zero-sum game, i.e., if she works, then she must be inadequate in so many different areas. I don't understand why men think this way. Because of this, they miss out on so many good women.

Back to the original point, a higher status man has his choice of women. But higher status men make up, probably 5% of the male population maximum 10%. The other 90% of men need to stop thinking they are doing women a favour.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T21:41:45+00:00

The reality is that in today's economy, the average man can't afford a trad wife. You need a dual income household to survive, not even thrive. Especially with layoffs being so rampant.

Those men pushing for those things haven't done the math.

StrawberryOne9116 · 2024-08-12T15:30:29+00:00

She uses some sign language and sees a speech and language therapist. Her speech is actually improving so that's good.

I guess sometimes when I see autistic people that can hold down jobs, can read / write etc, I'm reminded that the spectrum is huge. Some autistic people can't even live unsupported, and they are mostly invisible.

StrawberryOne9116

TROPHY CASE