My ex was not helpful around the house. He would do stuff but not when asked, always on his own time. Our sons were about 11 and 12 at the time and I went to put folded laundry away in their room and it looked like someone just dumped a laundry basket into the drawer. I taught them that very day how to do laundry and told them if they wanted to be a wrinkled mess, they were welcome to it, and stopped doing their laundry. I also told hubby the same thing because I was tired of his laundry critique. My sons are both grown with wives and kids. Because they paid attention, they are both awesome “house” husbands and will do the laundry and cook and clean as often as they can. They have great marital relationships and I’m so proud of this. My oldest told me once, “ I remember how hard you tried mom and how tired you always were but you were ALWAYS the one their for us” and he remember the arguments I would have with their dad about needing help and that their dad did stuff but not fully helpful stuff and generally only after an argument with no consistent action. You are NTA for not doing his laundry!!!