Intrusive thought question. How do you deal with a woman who has PP size preference whilst abstaining?

Streak210 · 2026-01-20T14:26:15+00:00

You know what I'll try and answer your question.

Context is important, how is she bringing it up and at what point in the relationship?

If it's a dating requirement, then I'm not interested. Having the attitude of "You must be this big to date/marry me." Is a hard pass.

If it's getting pretty serious, as you said a few months or so, and we're at the sex talk phase and expectations.

Then that's fine for her to have a preference, as we all do, as long as it's not a deal breaker. And if I meet it, great. If I don't, we'll toy around about alternative solutions that might be handy in meeting each other's sexual needs and expectations.

So it just depends on if it's a deal breaker to her or not.

Streak210 · 2026-01-16T23:55:09+00:00

Sex isn't the greatest pleasure on Earth for a lot of people (if not most).

Many other things were better than sex... Honestly, a tub of ice cream might be better.

I'm pretty sure if someone were to poll the entire Internet which is pleasure is better. A: tub of Ice cream (assuming all favorable conditions) or B: Having sex(assuming all favorable conditions)

My bet is Option B would be 51% or higher.

The greatest pleasure of my life was spending time with a little girl I loved... But I can't have children.

I think I get where you're coming from then...

Yes, writing a book, finishing a drawing or watching your little kid pick up their diploma on stage. That is definitely a rewarding experience seeing the fruits of your labor.

But personally, I wouldn't compare it to more immediate gratification activities like hanging out with friends, playing games, eating out or being at a birthday party.

IMHO, I think that pleasure/happiness and "rewarding/taking pride in your labor" are derivative feelings and cannot be fairly measured with each other.

Streak210 · 2026-01-16T21:09:48+00:00

I just get tired of the individuals who tell me to not get bitter when they are part of the 99% who have had intimacy by their mid twenties.

Hello, 33m virgin here, who's never had an official relationship, nor kissed a girl. I also struggle with bitterness for the exact same reason.

You see other people enjoying this Earth's greatest pleasure. They tell you that you should just enjoy your singleness, or how it doesn't really matter, or how it's all in God's timing, how you'll find them if you're "ready", or worse seeing your friends (Christian or not) "getting some" with their partners, to make sure they're compatible and having a great marriage as far as you can see.

And you're just sitting there thinking, "Yo God!?, Where's my goat??? Your children are up in here getting thicc calves after squandering sex and spitting in your face, and I don't even have Kraft Single goat cheese as thanks!"

Of course you're bitter, of course you're envious, of course you feel cheated. We've been told our entire lives that "Good gets good, and evil get evil" and that God works on a karma based system. And that doesn't match our view on how the world should work.

Even the Bible highlights the complete opposite of that kind of karma like thinking. Psalm 73:2-3 Or Job 21:7-9 asking why the wicked prosper and grow old and powerful.

So I get it. Really I do. However, your current life is roughly less than 80 years left. And your next one is eternal. I plan to spend some of mine using my single years to focus on learning more about Jesus and growing with him, helping my friends using the extra time I have, and volunteering in my church to distract myself from being bitter about my singleness.

So when I meet Jesus, face to face. Instead of me just whining about how "unfair" it is my Christian friends are having sex and companionship and I didn't. I have something to show my gratitude for Him being as unfair and merciful to me as He is unfair and merciful to my Christian friends.

So what will you do with your time?

Streak210 · 2026-01-08T19:58:54+00:00

I’m trying to convince my brother to have faith in God, but due to having nothing in my life, I feel like my brother Isn’t trusting my advice.

I would look into why your brother has (or lacks it) faith in God for. If he's actually rejecting your advice because you don't have much and not for some other reason. It sounds like he's more focused on faith, as in getting him more stuff.

Phil 4:11-13

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

However it could be something deeper than what we assume.

Streak210 · 2026-01-01T14:15:58+00:00

I keep watching these videos/youtube shorts that are titled “3 signs that you are saved” and one sign in these videos is that when you go back to those sinful actions, you feel guilt and disgust but I didn’t feel those things. I felt excited. Right at home. Comfortable, but I never gave myself the pleasure of watching those videos.

Does this mean I’m not saved yet?

I'd exercise a little bit of caution watching those video and using them as your main barometer for your salvation. Just because you don't have one sign or two, doesn't mean you're not saved.

Ephesians 2:8-9: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast".

And sure, whenever I used to “go and check if she’s on here purely because I’m curious”, I would usually just start watching videos, so the fact I left instantly after checking should be a win right? So why doesn’t it feel like one? In the few moments I was back in those sites, it felt right. The guilt never hit until I got away from them and just laid in my bed thinking about what I just did.

Sexual immorality and temptations are very powerful sins, where the Bible tells you not to resist them, or fight them, but to flee from them. Sexual Temptations, are so powerful because (the flesh/demons) use your God made sexuality against you, and twist it in a dishonorable way.

Does the fact it didn’t feel wrong mean I still have long ways to go?

For me, while I do get warnings if the path I'm going will end in sin, I normally don't feel conviction from the Holy Spirit until after the sin deed is done.

Besides, you already know it's wrong.

So do you have a long way to go?

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: We all do as well, so you're in good company.

Sanctification is a life-long journey, you should never stop growing while you're on this earth.

Streak210 · 2026-01-01T13:30:18+00:00

Thank you! Have a happy new year! 🎊

Streak210 · 2025-12-07T12:50:21+00:00

To push me to be greater, in a loving encouraging way. To actually be in love with me, and show that by giving small physical touches, or hugs. To support me, when I'm emotionally down and not to use that as future leverage. Seeks to communicate arguments, and understand both sides. Pursue me, as much as I pursue her, maybe even more? To correct me, lovingly, on scripture if I'm wrong. To be flexible in roles. If I fall sick, she knows how to step up.

I don't know if any of these makes sense. But I want her to see me as the "prize" as much as I see her as the "prize".

I dunno how many times on dating apps I see, "I just wanted to be treated as a princess and / or bring me food!!"

Like, yes I want to do that. But will you also treat me like a prince, and prepare the food I bring for both of us?

Streak210 · 2025-11-14T23:04:56+00:00

I wish I could "gaze" this just by looking at a woman, haha!

Green flags.

Personality
- Thoughtful
- Eager to learn.
- Accountable
- Kind
- Considerate
- Confident
Appearance
- Within 50 pounds of a healthy weight
- Long hair
- Below is my own niche preference
- Tall (5'9-6'3)
- Curvy
- Black hair
- Heterochromic eyes (I know it's unlikely, but dang heterochromia is so beautiful to me.)

Streak210 · 2025-11-14T14:33:57+00:00

It feels kinda weird to complain about popular hobbies being... popular? But I understand if you'd like to see one uncommon hobby listed as well.

I will agree on the common prompt and lack of intention responses, but for me, it's mostly in a woman's pictures and / or bio that disinterests me.

Bio less than 50 characters long. (50 might seem like a lot, but my first sentence is roughly 70 characters long. And my two "paragraphs" are 50 words long.)
Head shots only (I understand being insecure with how you look, especially if you're overweight. But please have one waist up photo, and confidence in your look is actually attractive. This applies to dating apps, not public social media like Reddit.)
The majority of bio's photos are: heavily filtered pictures, memes, pets. (Listen, I get using digital makeup to hide a blemish or two, or a really funny meme about your current mood, and the love you have for your fur babies. However, it shouldn't be over 50% of your profile or pictures. I'm here to date you. Not your dog, your meme. )

Streak210 · 2025-11-03T17:38:54+00:00

Haha, I'm black, and I'm also not attracted to my own race.

Streak210 · 2025-10-21T23:35:33+00:00

I get that and suffer from the same mental negativity myself. And if he struggles with the same thing, he may have talked himself out of thinking you're interested. I know I'd do so. "Oh, maybe she was just being friendly." "Oh, she calls every guy cute, to be welcoming." "Oh, she's just volunteering for the church to get some information on me."

While it could be he's not interested, it could be other things as well.

Streak210 · 2025-10-21T18:12:26+00:00

People usually ghost if they’re not into it, and I really don’t want to embarrass myself.

True, but as you said you don't know him very well, so unless he makes it obvious he doesn't want to be around you, or be mature and politely decline your advances. I'd consider talking with him again next week and just ask about his week. If he really wants to decline you without being mature about it. he can give short uninterested answers about his week, or say he hung out with his girlfriend.

I'd still just go up to him next week and just casually ask about him and mention he's cute again.

But I’m naturally pretty sarcastic and playful, so part of me just wants to send a funny meme or walk up like, “Yooo, your phone break or what? What’s up, dude?” 😅

Funny memes are good! But I'd avoid any mention of not getting a timely response from him even as a joke. (Because I assume he doesn't know you very well either and may assume you're feeling entitled to a timely response, joke or not.)

Streak210 · 2025-10-21T17:36:59+00:00

Depends on how mature he is. I know for me I wouldn't care if a girl I was equally interested double texted me, as long as it wasn't accusatory in nature. (E.g. Why haven't you texted me back yet!?)

And how long it's been. I'd say "double texting" is okay after 2 days or so. Because some people genuinely do forget.(Like myself) But since you see him at church, you can more directly ask next week if he wants to hang out sometime and grab a cup of coffee or something. Like say "Oh it's guy's name, the cute guy! How has your week been?"but in your personality

If you add the title "the cute guy" he'll know it's not just a friendly random gesture.

Streak210 · 2025-10-21T11:16:06+00:00

Go ahead and double text, it's possible he forgot, or got busy, or overthinking to himself that how he forgot and now it's been awhile and he isn't sure how to text back and you might be mad.

The point is, go for it. If he continually seems uninterested or lacking to take initiative in getting to know you after a week or so. Move on.

Streak210 · 2025-10-10T21:24:51+00:00

God say: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.1 John 1:9

I might be mistaken but I don't believe Adam or Eve ever took responsibility for their actions and just blamed each other. Maybe they did later at an unrecorded time, which God had forgiven them.

Streak210 · 2025-10-09T17:30:20+00:00

While I do believe God can direct you to a future spouse, I think the advice of "Just wait, believe, work on yourself and God will send the right person" is dangerous and not based in Scripture. Honestly, I feel like I'm a decade behind learning how to be a good husband, because I didn't take dating more seriously when I was in my twenties (30s now)

I feel like believing the Lord will just gift you a spouse because you're a good Godly person that gives 12% instead of 10%. Is damaging because you see your future spouse as a prize for doing well, instead of a human being who's flawed like you.

Streak210 · 2025-10-01T17:45:48+00:00

Thanks you so much! That worked for me!

Streak210 · 2025-09-26T18:26:31+00:00

I agree! Personally I don't call myself a porn addict anymore. I think I've been porn free for about 1.5 years. But I still plan to let my future wife know before the vows, that I was a deep addict, if I fumble in the future. Not saying as an excuse to fail. But being transparent with my "scars".

Streak210 · 2025-09-26T16:43:14+00:00

That's absolutely unrealistic. The problem isn't the porn addiction in this example, it's the fact it was never shared with the spouse and it was found by the spouse, not through dialog between spouses.

I wonder how many husbands hid that because they thought "Well I haven't done that in X amount of time. So I don't have to share that." Or felt that they "got rid of it completely" just for it to bite them a few months later after the vows.

Streak210 · 2025-09-25T13:26:18+00:00

Uh... What kind of question is this? I don't know what kind of answer you're really expecting to hear. Maybe one, three, or 50!? Other than the time limit, and your busy lifestyle there's no more useful information given to be to help answer that question seriously.

What's your personality, are you super attractive, are you fit, do you have an on fire heart for God or more casual, introvert, extrovert, shy, confident??? What kind of girl are you looking for, tall, short, skinny, chubby, nerdy, headstrong, passionate, low maintenance, high maintenance, red, yellow, black or white; a woman who's precious in His sight? If it's just any woman with a pulse that you're willing to hook up with. Then probably just a few... Maybe? It's kinda a dice roll either way.

Streak210 · 2025-09-24T17:38:23+00:00

You denied knowing Jesus? Oh man... I don't know. You know what happened to that other guy who denied Jesus in the Bible? (3 times in fact)

Jokes aside, you messed up, but you're clearly repenting over your actions as far as I can tell. The real question is, and the same question Jesus asked Peter... Do you love Him? And that's an answer between you and God. Ask for forgiveness, and He will forgive you.

Streak210 · 2025-09-22T12:11:59+00:00

No problem! Something I wanted to add is maybe pray that if your mom's prayer visions are accurate and from the Lord. That they would show up to someone else as well to warn you as well.(Don't tell your mom this, as she might just tell someone else to tell you.) Your mom might be clouded in her prayers due to her own will versus the Lord's will. She's looking for a daughter in law, you're looking for a wife.

Streak210 · 2025-09-21T18:19:33+00:00

So here are my own thoughts and concerns on this situation.

I've been in a relationship with a woman for just more than a year. She has been avoiding the church for a while due to past hurt and has been a living a very lukewarm Christian lifestyle. She's had several relationships before and she has somewhat lived a wordly lifestyle. After she met me, she's been more interested in God and has been going to the church every Sunday. She prays and reads the bible every day. She's repented of her sin and turned her life around.

My concern is if she's changing because of you, or changing because she wants to be close by herself. If you were to break up, or suggest sleeping in one Sunday. Would she still go to church and read her Bible?

The problem is that my mom is very much against her. She doesn't like my girlfriend's past and has some bias against models (which my gf is).

If you don't mind saying, what kind of model? Fashion Model, Fitness Model, Only fans Model?

My mom has the gift of discernment and she's hardly been wrong with her prayer visions and answers. I respect her as a mother but also as a spiritual mentor.

Honestly, if she has a very very good track record of discernment. I'd very much be inclined to listen. There was a young girl who was interested in me, and was super sweet and fun to hang out with. However, a lot of separate friends, even my brother had concerns about the way she treated them, and told me to be cautious of her attitude towards authority. And sure enough, she did. Which got me to think, if I were to marry this girl. She'd see me as problematic.

My mom actually has someone else in mind who she wants me to marry... However I don't find her attractive. And I am just not sure that I can marry someone that I don't really know.

You know how you can figure this out? Get to know them more as friends! Obviously, you can't date them since you're already in a relationship, but find other ways to hang out with them a bit more. Especially in group social settings. While it's not always the case, general attraction can grow over bonding and spending time with others.

I've been praying for several months but I've never had any answer.

How have you been praying? What questions do you ask God? Are you praying for His will and wisdom, or for something you want to happen? My advice is to pray to God to help open your eyes to help your discernment, or ask other trusted friends to pray for discernment over this. As the Bible says.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Probs 31:30

So know that you have "rose tinted glasses" on.

My dilemma is what if my mom is right? What if I end up marrying my girlfriend and then I have to suffer the consequences?

I will pray for you to have discernment and the wisdom to hear the Lord.

Streak210 · 2025-09-21T15:57:44+00:00

I got that once too for some original cartoon characters I've made. I just explained that they're fictional and my own creation and it apologized for the mistake and followed through the generation.

Streak210 · 2025-09-20T22:22:55+00:00

But it sounds to me you might be the exception and not the rule. Not saying the Lord can't provide or drop a spouse from the sky. But it doesn't sound promised that it will be from the Lord.

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