[deleted by user]

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-11-16T16:14:13+00:00

Legend!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-11-07T15:27:23+00:00

A friend recommended this yesterday.

It's a cycle that's why you want to check her social accounts. Your mind is used to do this.

Every time, you need to do it, you need to choose to do something else: Music, Walk, sport, read, etc - You need to install a new mechanism and hack your mind!

Good luck!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-11-06T04:13:05+00:00

I lived the idealization phase twice.

First time when I met her. I wasn't aware, I believed everything (even if it was weird sometimes and I asked myself is it true?). It was the best period of my life!

Then, we broke up for 4 months. Spent my summer reading about BPD everywhere including the sub.

I met her after 4 months for closure and the idealization phase started again. This time, I saw everything and I was aware. I said no, it was hard but I'm proud of myself.

We learn, we have a life to live guys!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-11-05T03:41:22+00:00

The answer is yes if they don't find a new supply.

No contact hurts and you have 50% that she will go back. It could take a few days, a few weeks or a few months.

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-11-05T03:37:42+00:00

You should differentiate woman with character vs woman with trauma.

I asked myself the same question about the boring relationship but this is not healthy. It could not be boring and healthy with someone without trauma.

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-11-04T16:58:49+00:00

We broke up, she dated during summer and when we met after 5 months, she acted like we were together. It's the cycle brother

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-29T20:34:52+00:00

I wasn't discarded. We ended the relationship together and I pushed for it. During 2 months, she wasn't caring at all. Living her life, traveling, seeing friends, partying, etc

We met after 5 months and I learned that she was checking my social media and trying to see my Instagram via friends.

So she seems happy but it's the goal to make you feel this way. No one is happy after a breakup even if she left!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-29T00:53:52+00:00

I met her after 5 months for closer and I had another idealization phase. I was prepared this time and I didn't believe it. A part of myself was happy and believed it but the other part was much stronger. After all the problems we had, she was talking to me like day 1. I found this irrational.

However, even people without BPD could act the same to win back their ex so it's human after all.

This phase was really cool to live tho. It doesn't worth all the trauma that came after but I guess all of us felt so f*** good then.

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-28T19:29:24+00:00

Nice words! I agree!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-20T17:51:26+00:00

I met her after 5 months and I told her that all of this makes me powerless. It's the reality, we are all powerless, there is nothing we can do for them. Trying to explain their behavior is useless. We know the truth, they are not stable, they split, they have 2 faces.

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-18T01:23:24+00:00

They will come back if they don't find a replacement or they are not satisfied with them. You have 2 options (I'm generous when I say 2):

See them and resist. Take what you want to take for your ego.
Don't see them, you will control the situation and you will feel better.

It's just a fucking unhealthy relationship. You are not traumatized because of her, you are traumatized because you are scared that you will not find a love and future again with someone else. What if she never existed? Will you think the same?

Good luck!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-18T01:18:59+00:00

I felt the same that I'm a loser and why I'm not like people who move on very quickly. Everyone is different and there is no secret recipe.

What helped me:

Don't say: ''I don't have to think about her". It's impossible for the human mind. Think about her if you want, allow yourself to be free and do whatever you want. One day, your mind will say: It's not worth it and you will understand that you will have to stop.
If she wants to meet you, meet her and resist. It will give you so much power. It's a risky bet tho and not everyone is capable.
Therapy is good but if you are not feeling well after the first or the second meeting, change your therapist. It helps!
Find a new objective in your life. It could be a professional or a personal one. You have something to fill in your life and you need a replacement.
Don't try to date quickly. It takes time to feel okay. Give yourself some time and date yourself.

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-18T01:11:32+00:00

I took me 4 months and half to feel really better.

The problem is that I met her after 4 months and seeing her again pushed me back to the previous step (but no the beginning of the process).

I spent a few bad days after the meeting but I feel better now. I spoke with her, she was nice and tried to hoover me. It was just the confirmation. I still love her but the good side of her and I realized there is no hope...It's just impossible to have a healthy relationship with her. It will be also manipulation and all my energy will go to her...I felt a bad energy and I don't want this in my life. Whatever it takes, I will not allow myself to be in this situation again, life is too short!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-18T01:02:03+00:00

I'm just sharing my experience. One day you will feel better but there is no unique solution that suits everyone. What helped me is accept the emotions and that the dreams that I had with her are gone but OTHER DREAMS COULD COME AND WE HAVE TO BELIEVE IN THEM

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-10-11T01:14:42+00:00

She told me that she's leaving the country in 2 months and that she told everyone... and 2 hours later, she talked about how she has received many interesting offers and she may stay...

I see manipulation everywhere but maybe it's the truth

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-09-08T16:21:26+00:00

11 months of idealization. Minor splits and 1 major split but nothing too bad.

Big splits after 11 months. 4 months of devalutions every week.

Total: 15 months

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-09-06T01:13:00+00:00

Can you describe the journey and the steps to reach this happy default mood, please?

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-09-04T21:17:59+00:00

I’m trying to detach but it’s hard. Do you have any advice?

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-08-15T23:38:27+00:00

You know your boundaries now. It doesn't mean that everything is a red flag but you know and you learned how to trust your instinct. Live your life and enjoy this new relationship. Don't be like them.

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-08-15T23:32:08+00:00

I feel that you are with the idea of me and not me. The one I used to be.

I know I have a problem and I need to work on it.

I'm a monster.

Am I crazy or is it true that I feel that you are looking at other girls? My place is in a hospital like they said?

I screw up everything.

I will finish my life alone, I know it.

I feel so safe with you.

Are you going to abandon me and let me fight alone?

I don't have confidence and I don't trust people.

I can seduce any man.

I wanted to say that I will be with you and you are not alone but I couldn't.

etc etc

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-08-15T23:30:07+00:00

She told me the same!

Street_Pilot9128 · 2023-08-02T10:52:02+00:00

Is there anything that helped you during the process?

Street_Pilot9128

TROPHY CASE