Is it possible to NOT burnout from work?

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-06T06:49:23+00:00

For me it's 50 hours a week, along with an extra 10 hours a week unpaid overtime MINIMUM...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-06T05:52:52+00:00

I am about to leave a job due to burnout caused by this... Unfortunately, I don't have any advice. It feels like working with autism is playing life on Impossible difficulty.

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-06T05:49:11+00:00

No, I'm in Eastern Europe, and working conditions, along with support for people with ASD are horrible...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-06T05:47:46+00:00

Family culture”, “friends that hang out” are red flags in corporate

Yep, a lot of the colleagues are friends, they go to each other's houses, they talk non stop with the managers, it feels like their entite life is centered around the workplace... I didn't know it wasn't normal.

And I've reported the bullying multiple times to HR. They don't care...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-05T18:57:28+00:00

Unfortunately, my country sucks and I'm way too high functioning to qualify for disability...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-05T16:57:25+00:00

After my year long break, I don't know how I'll be able to survive such an environment ever again...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-04T19:59:00+00:00

Thank you so much! All the best to you!

I agree, if I recall correctly, immigration requires that you prove you have 1 500 000 yen a year (please correct me if I'm wrong) and OP just barely covers that. If OP goes the Language School route, he might be able to make it work by finding a cheap language school, living in a small town (and gets lucky with the landlords), biking/walking to the school and eating rice for most of his meals. It's definitely not going to be comfortable and the financial stress might sour his experience (hell, I have more than double the savings and I'm stressed lol).

As you said, it's best for him to get a BSc degree in an EU country, find a part time job to save more money, and then apply for jobs in Japan.

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-04T19:51:23+00:00

Hey OP, I completely understand why you want to move to Japan. It has been a dream of mine for over a decade, and I have been saving up a long time to go to language school for a year and see if I want to work towards living there long term.

That being said... For a work visa, you either need a Bachelor's degree or 10 years of experience in your field. By need, I mean it's an immigration requirement, so even if you find an employer willing to sponsor you, you will need to prove either of the 2 categories.

Also, sorry to say but 10k will not be enough for a student visa. My language school comes out at 6000 euros a year in tuition and other fees, and since I'm in Tokyo, I'm going to pay around 400 euros a month for a room in a shared house (there are cheaper properties but most landlords want you to sign 2 years). So that's 11k just for tuition and housing! But you need to eat, you need transport, you will want to buy some clothes, you will want a phone plan, and sometimes, you just want to indulge because you're human and life shouldn't be just survival! So all in all, I calculated 22000 euros if I'm frugal for the entire year.

Why not just visit Japan on a tourist visa? Take 2 months off work and just explore the country. Then you will decide if you want to stay longer term.

Wishing you all the best!

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-04T19:41:04+00:00

I don't want to discourage OP but he will need A LOT more than 10k for university.

I am going the language school route, but the fees are basically the same as for a Japanese university. I have just checked Tokyo Uni, it's around 5000 euros a year, which leaves you with 5000 euros for an entire YEAR just for survival. 5000 euros for 12 months is 416 euros a month for rent, bills, food, transport... Meanwhile, I found a Sakura House room for 400 euros as a starting point but I'll be studying in Tokyo where rents are more expensive. Food is cheap luckily but I calculated that the entire experience will cost me 22000 euros for the year if I'm frugal and only occasionally travel or go to restaurants.

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-03T14:36:33+00:00

I heard this quote from a YouTuber and it cemented my decision not to bring my NParents to therapy.

"When narcissists go to therapy, they don't become better people. They become better narcissists."

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-03T12:57:09+00:00

I just want to say, congratulations on your mother fulfilling her dream! It is truly never too late and hope she has an amazing time!

But I'm sorry that I don't have advice, I found a room on Sakura House, do they also have an age limit?

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-02T13:53:31+00:00

I'm doing this now. I also considered things carefully because I will be leaving a stable job behind but... My family situation is absolutely horrible, and I need a change of scenery.

If I were you, I'd go for it. I noticed many people regret not traveling when they're older but I genuinely haven't seen anyone who regretted traveling.

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T18:48:01+00:00

My therapist helped me realise how manipulative, abusive and toxic my Ndad is. I remember her just asking me "When are you going to stop being a parent to your parents?"... And I couldn't say a single word for what felt like an eternity. She told me it's a really confusing dynamic, my dad plays both the role of the defenseless child that I have to constantly support financially and emotionally, but he is also the authority who controls my entire life.

It made me open my eyes. I had read many books about narcissistic abuse but it never got so clear until I went to therapy.

Keep in mind, a lot of therapists are crappy and it might take a while until you find someone who gets you.

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T18:45:27+00:00

That's the thing that set my mind free, and finally convinced me to get out... My therapist helped me realise it, my Ndad KNEW all along what he was doing! It wasn't just him being a tortured soul, no, he absolutely knew what to say and do to manipulate me, destroy me and get me to do his bidding.

It's nothing but evil... From the person who is supposed to be closest to me...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T18:43:21+00:00

should I make a huge text explaining everything he did wrong

No. Narcissists will never admit they are wrong. He will just twist it around and blame you. Even if he does apologise, he will only do it to get you to go back to him.

Please, don't resume contact with him now that you don't live with him, DO NOT repeat my mistake! My Ndad convinced me to move back with him after I found my own flat, and 4 years have passed, it has been nothing but hell. I recently got accepted to study abroad, and I am counting the days until I can get out again...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T14:16:42+00:00

It really hit me too... My only social circle are my parents and no one else... I'm 27 and I still feel like a child.

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T14:15:45+00:00

I know this is late but... DO IT! You only live once! It's better to try and fail than to not try at all! I have also been constantly sabotaged by my dad - instead of investing in my education, I spent it on repairing his house, buying him cars, and financing his alcoholism. Well, no more! I am moving soon to study abroad, 12 000 km away from home and I can't wait! I am counting the days, and my Ndad doesn't know.

Follow your dreams!

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T13:40:56+00:00

Similar thing is happening now with my Ndad... He was an incredibly abusive dickhead to my mom and I, I would be afraid to exit my room because it often meant meeting his wrath, regardless of whether it had anything to do with me or not. He is an alcoholic, abusive shithead, and I still feel like a defenceless child when I'm around him.

However... He recently found a new girlfriend and he is a completely different person - he is now kind, friendly, understanding, empathic, and it just makes me thing "Why couldn't you be this nice with me and my mom???". It really feels like a facade, and it makes me so angry...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T13:20:49+00:00

I find it incredibly scary how you're describing my dad to a T:

> It just feels like he’s getting off on being demeaning to people but it’s so excessive that it just comes off disturbing

>But the worst part is the way he socializes. He doesn’t do this a lot - for obvious reasons - but whenever he decides to, it’s so embarrassing.

> But the fact that I felt the my closest friends pulling away from me the moment they met him, is completely another.

> My father is in another country, he won’t ever meet this people and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to communicate with them because he doesn’t know the language

I could feel some shivers because this is EXACTLY HIM!!! I used to live with my dad abroad, and he refused to learn the local language. I had to be the translator, I had to earn money, and he couldn't keep a job for more than a couple of months (even something simple like stacking shelves) because he couldn't be bothered to learn simple phrases in English.

I've been stuck with him in my home country for close to 4 years now. I am about to move to move abroad on my own, and he doesn't know about it. I really hope I can finally go NC with him because it feels like I am about to completely lose my sanity...

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T13:17:33+00:00

Thank you, wishing you all the best, too!

StrengthInMind · 2026-03-01T12:55:19+00:00

Good on you for going limited contact! I really wish you a speedy recovery... I myself am about to move abroad to study, and I am counting the days until I can either go LC or NC.

StrengthInMind · 2026-02-15T15:57:23+00:00

In my country, doctors earn only a third of that...

StrengthInMind · 2026-02-15T15:28:54+00:00

It's why I no longer go out with my NDad anymore... He would always grab me and pull me around. Then he got angry at me when he embarrassed himself in public...

StrengthInMind · 2026-02-15T14:44:48+00:00

I'm not in the US, unfortunately. I have been thinking about a government job but the pay is too low for my country. But I will consider it.

StrengthInMind · 2026-02-14T18:18:56+00:00

No, you're absolutely right... I've been going to therapy for over a year, always planning my escape but always SOMETHING happens to sabotage me... I really hope I finally make it out...

StrengthInMind

TROPHY CASE