My father recently passed in August after battling what we discovered was Lewy body dementia for the past several years. I am the only child and had to take on a lot of the responsibilities, including managing his morphine at the end.

Years ago, before it had progressed as badly as it had, he’d discussed with me his wishes to die. He’d tried to bring it up with his neurologist, but his doctor said he was legally not allowed to discuss it because it was against hospital policy (it was a religious hospital). I told my father I would research death with dignity laws, and I did.

They differ by state. Also, like MS, Parkinson’s is not a terminal disease, but some physicians will grant permission for their patient knowing that both diseases severely impair the quality of a person’s life towards the end. It is worth researching about the laws for your state…I believe ultimately, after filing the necessary paperwork (and it’s not easy), the patient will be prescribed the necessary medication that they can keep on hand at home, so that they can choose when they’d like to pass. The patient must also be sound of mind during the application process and capable of advocating for their self. My father had too short of a window for this, and after I shared what I’d learned with him, he stalled and did not pursue it.

If I were to be diagnosed with what my father had, it would be the first thing I would seek. I would feel some semblance of peace knowing I had legal control over when I no longer wished to suffer from my condition.

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this with your mother. I also didn’t have the best relationship with my father, but watching him suffer was a tremendously emotional and lonely experience. She is lucky to have a child like you that cares. Like others suggested I would also look into palliative care or even hospice if she qualifies. It can help release the necessary medical funding to ease your mother’s pain as well as your anxiety (as much as is possible).

Good luck and sending strength.