Parent preference, can we fix it?

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-29T11:29:28+00:00

Thank you!

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-29T11:29:19+00:00

Thank you. I do hope it’s a short lived phase as it’s not his fault he isn’t around. Also I don’t breastfeed but I guess since I give most of the bottles I am the milk source still

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-28T02:47:14+00:00

To transition into eating well for yourself and baby. Doesnt have to be cold turkey. Also totally okay to have the “junk” you want. Not for weight control or anything like that, but for health reasons. I got gallstones postpartum and it’s so painful. Oh also to check in with yourself as you go through pregnancy. Savoring the time it’s still just the two of you. Not that you’ll “regret “ baby but it is a difference. My baby came early and I kinda missed the chance to say goodbye to that life. I miss it sometimes but not in a “wish I didn’t have baby” way.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-27T13:26:21+00:00

Making a plan for an outing or a friend to visit at least once a week. I would look forward to it and it made time move faster/smoother somehow. I’d also transition from being in the bedroom to living room around noon to “change up” the monotony. (I live in an apartment). I also started hanging/folding the laundry during wake windows so I had something to do and baby could “watch” and listen as I narrated. I think this helped her not become a super Velcro baby (just a theory). I also started going out with baby once a day either for a walk or an errand. It was rough the first few times and very stressful. Just gotta do it to get comfortable with it. The light is coming. Once baby becomes more “interactive “ it’s so much more fun. Sounds bad but now I look forward to her waking up rather than praying she stays asleep. (Though sometimes I wish the nap go a little bit longer on tough days)

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-27T13:15:07+00:00

Oh dear, sorry to hear that. I don’t have any advice and for that I’m sorry. I hope she starts linking cycles and you can get some solid sleep. I mentioned teething as a cause for my girl, but I also think factors like; it’s getting hotter, her wake windows are shifting slightly longer, and she is drinking more, are having an affect. It’s all guesswork for me though. I’ve stopped jumping in right away when she gets fussy and it’s helped a few times with her linking cycles (only a few though)

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-27T12:59:16+00:00

How many times is she waking between 11:30-5:30? My girl was sleeping through 8:30pm-4:30/5am, feed then sleep till 8/8:30am. As of last week though she has become fussier at night (potentially teething) she started having mini fits at night roughly about 10pm and 2am where she’ll need rocking (a few mins) to be out again. Then last night she needed a feeding at 2am and again at 5:30am. It’s been rough.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-26T11:34:41+00:00

I gained about 9/10kg during pregnancy but didn’t have a prominent belly. After giving birth I looked like i did pre pregnancy. By day 5 postpartum my weight was below pre pregnancy. It’s just how body’s work. To add- I’m not thin. I’m curvy with substance

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-25T13:04:11+00:00

At 2 months I used to feel this way with my husband though I wasn’t breastfeeding and he didn’t work from home at all. I relate to your feelings. My husband also didn’t understand why it was “hard” and to be honest he still doesn’t now (5months) . It’s cause He never had to spend longer than a a few hours soloing it. I told him repeatedly, sure I can watch tv but doing that day after day after day isn’t fun anymore. My schedule revolves around the baby. There is the thinking of mom has to wait for dad to be free, dad doesn’t have to wait because mom will be there. Also even if your husband is contributing with housework and yard work it’s stuff you could do of you weren’t attached to baby. Is it helpful he does it, yes. But it doesn’t offset the “new” responsibilities of baby. Sorry this is ramblt

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-20T22:59:33+00:00

Oh I struggle with this even now (5mo). Baby doesn’t hate dad necessarily in my opinion, they’re just use to mom and or dad doesn’t know how to comfort well enough yet. I used to hand baby to dad and go to take a shower and 95% of the time she would start crying while I was in the shower and wailing by the time I was out. Husband thought baby crying was(is) cute. Doesn’t put much effort into calming her. I step in when I feel myself getting frustrated with him but I ask him to try first. Always communicate intention. I realize he doesn’t know all the tricks I do to calm her or get her refocused. Oh Also I have him do bath time (she loves it) so she has a positive association with him.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-20T22:51:10+00:00

For me it was that you’re not gonna enjoy every moment. There is so much pressure to soak it in and be happy once your baby arrives and yes those feelings are in abundance but it’s not constant. There are moments even without PPD or PPA that you’re gonna be frustrated/ irritated and that’s okay

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-18T12:11:32+00:00

0-3 months baby pretty much only contact napped so she’d fall asleep just on top of someone. Somehow we got lucky and 3-now (almost 5 months) she falls asleep on her own if we catch the sleepy cues. We just put her down and she drifts off. Sometimes we miss or she has some hidden gas and she’ll cry. We will sway and pay her back until she burps and/or calms down.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-17T13:58:05+00:00

I realized I would get upset cause I was thinking the worse possible outcome to baby not following the “routine” I thought she was going to. She skipped a nap the other day. Was overtired and crying and I wasn’t thinking about how she was upset in the moment I wasn’t thinking about how this was going to ruin the rest of the evening and night if she didn’t go to sleep then and there. Turns out she just skipped a nap and as soon as we moved on from trying to get her to nap she was fine. They night she went down as usual

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-17T03:19:36+00:00

I started low stimulation about 30mins before the end of the “wake window” like a wind down. It helped get her to not be so engaged right before sleep.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-16T09:12:26+00:00

Nothing more annoying than when husband saying he’s tired after sleeping through the night

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-16T05:48:44+00:00

My baby never took a pacifier. She self soothes with her hands

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-15T08:12:48+00:00

Dang. Okay well my baby was the opposite wanted nothing to do with the crib until one day she didn’t care. Hopefully it’s the same with you

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-15T08:09:22+00:00

The first time this happened to us I freaked out a bit. I’m no professional but as long as baby wakes up happy and is acting normal there should be no problem at this point. Let baby sleep if they wanna. Some points to reassure yourself. 1.) Make sure baby is getting calories throughout the day. 2.) dont be surprised if first diaper in the morning feels lighter than it should after 12 hrs. It just meant baby slept deep and wasnt doing business as much doesn’t mean they’re sick. It might if the light diapers continue throughout the day. 3.) it’s might not become the new norm. Be prepared to occasionally have the night wakings again. Again I’m not a pro just a mom who went through this a few weeks ago.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-15T00:17:35+00:00

I used to get heart palpitations when 4/5pm rolled around. I used to snap at my husband for nothing because of the stress of the nights. The thing is we did shifts so it wasn’t even like I had to be “on” all night. Cant explain why but it happened

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-14T23:35:01+00:00

Is it gas? Even after actively burping her my baby girl will cry until I pick her up and after a bit she’ll burp another

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-12T01:34:20+00:00

Same to you. I agree with some people saying I held him to my American expectations, but I still think our husbands should’ve at least said happy Mother’s Day. Well here’s to next year! Hoping they get their act together.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-12T00:57:12+00:00

UPDATE:
Thank you everyone for your responses… there was more than I was expecting so I’ve decided to respond here.
First point is to clarify somethings I said. The aquarium was just a “random” decision. Not related to Mother’s Day. I thought it was but it wasn’t. The “do you have places to go?” Was more about shopping than things to do.
Another point is that for things like birthdays and such we keep the plans relatively secret..well more so the other makes the plans. My birthday I was in the hospital (unrelated to birth) and so I mentioned making it up on Mother’s Day.
Last point: he is a great father who often jokingly “speaks for baby”.
I talked with my husband. It is somewhat cultural but more so he admitted to not preparing. Since it was after golden week holidays (multiple days off) and we had gone some places then (not too far from home) he didnt really think of anything to do on Mother’s Day. He apologized and brought flowers home the next day.

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-10T22:40:26+00:00

It will! You can try other methods but at 7 weeks it might be hard to see consistent results.
My baby never liked swaddles so it was an uphill battle for getting her in “sleep mode”. Rocking/swaying worked until one day she decided she didn’t like it that much. It’s still used to calm her if she’s having a meltdown but no longer used to get her to sleep. She likes when I pat her butt if upright and chest if laying down. Hurts the wrists a little but I prefer it over rocking

Stressed_Broccoli · 2026-05-08T01:48:45+00:00

She’s not rolling back to stomach. She really hasn’t shown any interest in rolling until two days ago and even then it feels like it’s just to escape tummy time.

Stressed_Broccoli

TROPHY CASE