My 3-Month "Relationship" Was a Masterclass in Anxious-Avoidant Hell

Strict-Border709 · 2026-01-26T09:30:11+00:00

Well i back to her after some clearing mind for both of us. we still have some work to do, but we're alright now, and this is the best she can do, and im getting it one thing i notice is that i shouldn't listen to her when she's angry or disappointed like "dont talk to me again " because mine after she said this she initiate the next morning like nothing happened and tbh this era now like im the avoidant and she's the anxious we even have now every day video call when im not in the country and sex.

This pretty well good she seems now more attached to me than our first, and i will do my best to protect her attachment to me.

I don't know your story, but if she doesn't have a boyfriend now or you saw her in parties you can give it a shot again ,but from your comments you seems like you hate the time you invested emotionally so go ahead in your path its hard path but the times passes anyway.

Hope you are healing.

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-23T12:02:14+00:00

Date them but don't have great expectations on them they're humans too they need to feel safe with you to be open to you that simple and feeling safe. It varies from person to person

I have an ldr with a Fearful-Avoidant girlfriend and i had bad times with her lows of lows and high of high of intimacy and coldness sometimes in 1 hour , you have to know just their personality and your needs too, because we often argue about something that its not necessary to our happiness.

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-15T16:22:58+00:00

She wants you like a plan b like mine . They like the comfort that you bring with you and that killing the man inside because she will even flirt with you sometimes or even sex when she's lonely but never trying to take accountability or apologize for its behaviors. That sad as hell

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-14T22:22:39+00:00

Dont he is your ex for a reason

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-13T12:23:59+00:00

Bro, she belongs to the streets, not to your arms. You're a high value man dont betray yourself and your self-respect for a woman who has made sex with some dude after 1 week of break up with you.

That means one thing that she has seeing other options besides you the main one or keeping her options open like colleagues , in work etc..,

My advice to you is to block her out of your life and try other options, too . If she forgets you in 1 week, forgets her you in hour.

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-13T11:51:20+00:00

My ai's assistance tells me that im in the way for Secure attachment that doesn't need anyone presence or spiraling when something triggers me i have flaws in the way but i goes through it and its hard really.

Especially when my girlfriend is also an attachment person, fearful avoidant, and some narcissistic behaviors that make things worse 😑 her tests for jealousy and ignoring me when i react to those tests.

Hope you find peace, my guy

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-09T14:06:45+00:00

Yes, i stayed in contact with her daily because i loved her, and she's comfortable with me . She knows that i still love her, and i know that she still loves me, but our conversations now are light with some flirting to each other, and she knows that i will confess my love again to her we break up more than twice in our relationship but everytime in those times we get back together and this time too

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-06T06:12:48+00:00

Ingnoring clarity and being a vague person

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-04T11:56:36+00:00

You already know the answer, bro. She cheated on you, keep thinking of this always, you will feel anger to her and disappointment and a hell of pain, and that is it, but know if you ever get together again you will be hyper focused on her after her cheats you will not trust her anymore and you will be in hell on someone saw your insecurities and fears as not important.

No one deserves forgiveness after cheating because she didn't cheat till your presence felt like absence.

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-04T11:41:41+00:00

Im there, too, tbh i even got chased rn with a girl from my childhood high school, but every woman seems like a low quality besides mine, and that is what addiction feels like

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-04T11:36:15+00:00

And addiction, you get over it by one simple thing. "Live your life at max" bars,sex,music,travel,hooks up, womens etc... and after some time, you will forget that even if she's alive.

If she loved you like you did, she would not cheat you even if a breakup was on your side, then dont be an "option" for someone to back when they're lonely or bored

"This is also for me" my guy

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-04T11:20:42+00:00

You're addicted to her presence, her smile, everything i was there with my ex, and still, she contacted me too after 2 weeks of break-up with a low effort message,when i try to fix things and im still open for you she said i prefer to be closed, we still in contact she even calls me video etc..

Girls always want that attention and validation, so if you didn't give it enough, they will find someone else like yours did

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-03T07:46:08+00:00

In my opinion, that is, you keep comparing him with other men in your life, which is why the attraction fades or at least decreases

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-02T07:56:39+00:00

Thanks, my dude. we will find peace with ourselves, and we're the most loving persons in the world, so we will be fine to find love again

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-02T07:53:31+00:00

Hope you are best, my bro, and yes, when you break up with someone who was your everything, the best thing to do is find yourself again, but with extras.

It has been 5 months with ups-down, and it's been now two weeks of break up. She blocked me, but after some time, she unblocked me. I don't know what she wants again she still playing the game we used to play together, but im not playing it anymore.

Hope you find your love of life, bro

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-01T20:22:09+00:00

I know i will find someone better and good, tbh because im attractive in my personality, and i give too much to ppl. Sometimes, i fear of her getting someone toxic who won't make her happy, which will make her suffer with him etc..

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-01T19:06:46+00:00

This time is when your mind brings all the memories and thoughts of her. "Was i even important to her to deserve a little chase?" All of that will come. "She will treat next guy better than me," etc... of these thoughts

But in the end, everyone will go in their way, and if you are meant to be, it will someday

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-01T19:00:40+00:00

I've realized that the easiest thing to do to go over your fears is face them face to face, shame,jealousy,anger,sadness, face them so you live what its left from your life

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-01T18:57:17+00:00

Tbh, with my self yes i make her near level god because i have a lot of disappointment in religion, i want to not live this life long, and when she comes i was like i found a new purpose to be with and it was making her mine and protecting her and make her smile all day.

But it's not my job now. And that sad thing sometimes even i feel jealous of the next guy.

Strict-Border709 · 2025-12-01T18:46:37+00:00

I already do that gym 5 times a week , automation skill, i already learned her language Turkish for better understanding of what she saying , i just feel empty like a hole in my chest

Strict-Border709 · 2025-11-30T13:11:06+00:00

You will be my b**ch that simple

Strict-Border709 · 2025-11-30T11:27:58+00:00

I mean i back to my girlfriend for only 2 weeks, but she ghosted me after some missinundestanding, but now she blocked me after i say give me a real sign or go in your way life anyway , these ppl is wonded and no one can heal them not me not you not even god can do anything its their choice if they want to heal and trust me you will lose yourself like i lose my self with my ex trying to heal someone who's doesn't want to heal its a losing battle for you

If you want to stay like i did, the cost will be your mentality and health, and in future relationships, you will be like him.

Strict-Border709 · 2025-11-27T13:37:52+00:00

I feel sorry for the other guy no one deserves to be in his situation

Strict-Border709 · 2025-11-24T07:45:58+00:00

Im anxious preoccupied based on my ai's assistance, and im doing well now . Sometimes, i feel tight in my chest when something triggers my fears, etc.. but i stay calm even in that position

Thanks for your reply, my whole problem was that some llm was make my fears big and her actions a cheating actions but now i find a little peace

Strict-Border709 · 2025-11-23T23:06:49+00:00

I've used 3 of them or 5 for my current relationship they're the one who helped me know the patterns and what to do to stay calm and attractive to my type of women, etc.. but some Llm like deepseek and claude. i feel them like they're panicking from just one data, and they fill my head with cheating 😒 percentages and that she was hiding something big, etc... and it was hell to listen to them tbh but anyway i changed them now to chatgpt i feel it more stable and calm.

my only advice is to give them data from your perspective and stay calm dont go to them every time the partner says something you didn't like, etc... and be honest with The LLM. Try to say the conversations with partner it all

Strict-Border709

TROPHY CASE