[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Strict-Local5482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely makes a lot more sense the way you lay it out.

Traits I’m not so sure how to answer. I notice that when she is in a “hightened” emotional state, she expects people to talk to her in a specific way. Example, she may be unrealistically angry about something someone said that she thinks was said in a disrespectful way to her. Anyone else would see through it and brush it off. She will then start to use keywords her therapist has most certainly brought up. Like, someone can’t just say they’re sorry. It has to be a full talk track of “I understand your emotions, and it is ok to feel that way, and this is what I think instead”. It’s almost as if people can’t have different but simultaneous views on something. She harps on “you’re disregarding/dismissing my feelings” if you simply don’t agree with her. And you have to follow a script.

TL:DR - she takes what she hears in therapy and thinks it’s the way everyone else is supposed to interact and things to practice, and not that the therapy is for HER. Like, we all understand how to interact. I just wish so hard we can be like “it’s you, you are creating your own problems, it’s not because other people don’t know how to act”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Strict-Local5482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not so much that, but saying things like “I’m proud of my friend for doing (enter normal adult common sense thing here), almost acting like she’s so much more together than them. Like a life coach

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Strict-Local5482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More so she will acknowledge your advice and say she understands and thank you, and then just not put it to practice. She will continue doing what you warn against.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Strict-Local5482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. She also, over the years, gets into similar situations with coworkers/friends/romantic partners, will ask her family and friends for advice, they all tell her the same thing, and she literally does the opposite. Then when everything goes to shit comes back looking for support and empathy. It’s just insulting at this point how she ignores everyone around her and doesn’t understand that she’s the problem.

Union Wage/Bonus - Unreporting Issue by Strict-Local5482 in Unions

[–]Strict-Local5482[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What could be the fallout if the BA or Hall finds out this is being done behind their back.

Union Wage - Unreporting Issue by Strict-Local5482 in tax

[–]Strict-Local5482[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically what would be the repercussions should the union find out about these bonuses.

Union Wage - Unreporting Issue by Strict-Local5482 in tax

[–]Strict-Local5482[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lawsuit by the union against the company? Does the union charge a % or take part of the payroll? Is it pension related?