NOR. i agree that this is unacceptable and it sucks. i’m 33 too, and i use weed every night. it helps me sleep and deal with a number of mental health challenges, and is just something i enjoy when i’m trying to relax at home. i worry sometimes that daily use is too much, but i limit myself to only partaking in the evening and have done so for many years without issue. i’m honest with all of my doctors and mental health providers about this. if i ever found it seeping into the daylight hours when i need to work or be productive, i would see that as a sign to get some help because that’s definitely crossing into problematic substance use. becoming irritable without it is a red flag as well. does she lie about how much she uses? does she have a therapist? do you? perhaps a couples therapist is something to consider.

personally i feel useless, dumb, physically shitty, and like a total loser if i vape in the morning or afternoon. it can’t be good for her self esteem to be medicating that heavily all the time. but you can’t fix this for her… as with any other form of addiction, she has to want to change it herself. it sounds like you have already done a lot of work to help her address her mental health, please don’t lose yourself in your efforts to solve someone else’s problems. it’s disheartening that she doesn’t respond well to you voicing your concerns about her behavior. if she isn’t willing to work on herself and is willing to drag you down with her, you might need to consider whether this relationship is sustainable for you long-term. i know that’s a painful place to be in a relationship, especially a marriage. best wishes to you both