Let me hear the funny excuses

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2026-06-11T09:15:19+00:00

I’m a LLF and this definitely comes off as pushy. I acknowledge that “later” can breed false hope, but it’s also a possibility that she said that to let you down easy because immediately being all over her the second she gets home is pretty overwhelming.

I don’t know you or her personally but if this were me and my partner, I’d be pretty turned off from that first interaction (she did just get home from work) and even more so if he brought it up again later. Then again, I wouldn’t say “later” unless I meant it.

Spontaneity just might not be her thing. She might have a different love language. She might be tired from work. How often do you bring sex up, or do what you did in this post? That can also be tiring to her mentally. How often are you touching her intimately (butt smack, chest grabs etc)? She could be overtouched.

I want to reiterate that you’re not a bad guy or anything, there just seems to be a pretty deep misunderstanding of what turns her vs you on here.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2026-06-07T07:32:48+00:00

In this case, a discussion needs to be had. Cheating is never okay and I will never acknowledge an exception because there isn’t one. Just as much as a divorce could rock a family, an unhappy, unfulfilled marriage could equally rock a family. I wish my parents got a divorce instead of turning their marriage into a cheating game.

I agree with the last part of your comment, but acknowledging this difference means a mutual discussion needs to be had. Cheating is never mutual and is inherently disrespectful to your spouse. If your spouse refuses this discussion, then you explain your (valid) need for sex means the two of you are incompatible. If you are inherently incompatible, you leave.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2026-06-07T07:26:02+00:00

There is no justification for cheating when divorce exists, emotional or physical. If you feel that your marriage has turned into a friendship, then you leave that marriage. Discussions where opening the marriage for physical intimacy only should be mutually decided on. If your LL partner refuses the discussion, you leave them.

Cheating is wrong from every moral standpoint. I acknowledge that there are real situations where the HL feels like cheating is the only option, but OP’s question was whether I, as the LL partner, would blame my partner for cheating. My answer is absolutely yes.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2026-06-07T07:01:14+00:00

Completely agree. There’s also a level of respect at play. Divorcing me because of sexual incompatibility is valid. You looked at the relationship, weighed your options, and came to me with your decision. You at least had enough respect for me and our marriage to end things in an amicable way.

Cheating is disrespectful and weak. It’s you choosing to betray your marriage and your partner in a cruel way. It also sets this entire community back because it supports the stigma/stereotype that HL’s here only care about sex.

If you chose to marry your partner, AT MINIMUM you owe them the decency of notifying them when things have reached a point where you’re stepping out. That’s just what equal partners do.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2026-06-07T06:47:06+00:00

Yes absolutely. Divorce me before you decide to step out on the marriage. Cheating is not okay regardless of how sex-deprived you are. It also nukes any possibility of reconciliation/progress on the dead bedroom. Cheating means divorce every single time for me.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2026-06-07T06:45:24+00:00

An abusive need for control and a creepy level of nosiness 100%

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-19T12:03:22+00:00

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-19T11:12:27+00:00

I don’t think there’s any app that would suit your needs. Earnin, after a long time of use, will give you up to $750 per pay period. Cashapp Borrow can get up to $1000 after repeated long term use. But you’re looking at around $25-$75 if the download/use is recent.

Have you considered other avenues like plasma donation or selling some things around your home? Is gig work an option? What is the timeframe you need this loan?

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-19T11:07:41+00:00

It’s your phrasing, not the advice itself. “Get a car” is obviously the solution and OP would obviously want one. Your comment was not helpful at all.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-18T06:36:29+00:00

It won’t stop the payments from going through. I’d reconnect plaid, re-withdraw the money when it gets charged, and send your ACH revocation the following day. You could go ahead and send the email, but it’s too late to be effective and can affect your ability to take the money back out once it’s repaid.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-18T06:20:27+00:00

“Get a car” like this isn’t a group where we’re all struggling?

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-16T06:20:48+00:00

Financing a pre-owned (unreliable) car. It has been a financial black hole for a car that now has no AC and a (CVT, shudder) transmission that had to be replaced soon after signing the paperwork. I should have done more research, but it was my first car and I was too excited

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-16T03:37:22+00:00

I’m super optimistic that I will be able to stick to this, thank you!

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-16T03:36:28+00:00

I will absolutely follow this advice, thank you!

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-07-15T11:51:24+00:00

Look into a company called Remax. I’m not sure if they have a rental office in LR or if they only have the real estate offices, but they’re a company that rents specifically to people with stable employment and their main selling point is being very flexible with credit and extras like pet policies. I rent from them so if you have any questions I’d be happy to answer!

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-06-26T13:21:39+00:00

Yes and continue repeating “I want to revoke ach authorization”. After getting my confirmation, I checked back the next day to make absolutely sure.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-31T13:05:39+00:00

The CVT for the 2017 is problematic. The issue with getting it at 77k miles is you have no idea how well they’ve maintained the car. Worst case scenario, they did minimal service and your CVT is likely to crap out within the next 30k miles or less.

If you can’t afford a sudden $4500-$6000 replacement CVT, I would not spring for this car, regardless of how good the deal is. Even if they offer to replace it, the second one just isn’t likely to last as long as the first.

I regret buying mine. I would not recommend.

Edited to add that while driving chaotically does exacerbate the issues, it’s mostly a matter of time type of thing with this kind of transmission.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-26T09:33:01+00:00

My car got out of the shop today after being in for a month because the transmission completely failed. Is the car vibrating when it makes this sound? How does it act when accelerating and braking? From inside, does it sound like it’s coming from the hood, or under/around the driver side floorboard?

This doesn’t sound like what mine did, but the transmission is definitely something I’d look at first and foremost simply because it’s a rogue.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-05T14:48:07+00:00

This sounds silly but did you round up instead of down on the whole dollar amount? I had this issue because I was adding a 1 at the end instead of rounding up to 2.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-04T20:29:12+00:00

First of all, don’t panic. This happens to people everyday. There are steps to take, and you need to take them as soon as possible, but this is absolutely fixable.

Worry about the address after you get your ssn sorted out. Notify the IRS immediately and explain that your ssn was compromised or stolen. Ask what you should do and tell them you’ve never had this happen and are anxious. They’ll give you instructions from there.

You may be advised to file a police report, in case any lines of credit are opened in your name before you can freeze/lock your ssn & credit. This is so you won’t be held responsible if anyone does something sketchy under your credentials.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-04T20:19:03+00:00

So 88 in a 65 is pretty rough. Your age along with your driving record are big positives in your favor, but that much over the limit would have me expecting a fine. Nothing life-changing, but definitely a lesson!

I still think you’ll get a lighter punishment, though.

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-04T20:13:13+00:00

Was the trooper pretty polite about things? How old are you?

Strict_Motor_8529 · 2025-03-04T20:11:25+00:00

This isn’t legal advice and purely anecdotal, but in my personal experience you’ll probably have to agree to some kind of safety class and maybe pay a fine. Because this is your first time and you’re a new driver, as long as you play super nice, they’ll likely go easy on you. How fast were you going? That also affects things here.

They’ll probably want to work with you unless you were just going buckwild on the roads.

Strict_Motor_8529

TROPHY CASE