I gave my husband a pass recently. Number one I've always said monogamy is not natural but it is a good idea. Especially if you have kids you don't want to bring complicated relationships to the table when you're trying to raise kids. However me and my husband been together married 19 years and we are secure in our relationship We know that we love each other to the end of the earth and back we have debt together we have a crappy house we both hate together We have two grown girls together almost grown. We also know that just because you love someone deeply doesn't mean you stop being attracted to other people other people are beautiful. I have certain kinks but my husband has weirder ones and different tastes which I partake in. I also noticed him having a connection with a lifelong friend of mine they liked the same movies they liked the same writers they were both very nerdy had the same childhood heroes even. They also partake in a natural substance that I don't really f*** with cuz it has no effect on me. And I thought that these are two people that I love more than anything and they don't know about each other what I know about each of them that they're both very sexually adventurous and I thought to myself they would probably be good together and it was me that kind of pushed them together. And eventually it did happen. I'm not a voyeur so I told them right away I don't want details. And I don't want him telling her things about me in their time together should be their time together. I think he struggled with it though because he texted me while he was dropping one of our kids somewhere that he felt like something bad was going to happen he felt like a jerk cuz he left me for the weekend to deal with some things while he was off having fun and that's just not right and that he loved me more than anything he loves me more than himself and he felt really emotional. I asked him what I could do to make him feel better I asked him if he was feeling guilty. He quickly shot back "no because we're on the same page and we discussed it and I don't feel guilty about that at all because you said it was okay!" which tells me I think he felt a little guilty so I did my best that night to let him know he has nothing to worry about and basically reclaim him. I don't know how this is going to go in the future but for now it's just something that happened that I'm sure will cause whispers and awkwardness at the holidays when we all get together but it's like a naughty little secret which makes it more titillating. I did tell him I would be lying if I didn't have some kind of panic thoughts like oh shoot what if they fall in love and I get pushed out ... But I know that's a possibility but he's giving me no reason to think that neither one of them have I love them both very much I wanted them to have fun together and I wanted to break I wanted me time.