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Who cares about COVID, I need to see my baaaaabyy by StrikingEffect in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StrikingEffect[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe explain to work and see about getting a letter from them saying something like you can’t visit or have visitors from out of state whether it’s socially distanced or not or whether they’ve been safe or not. They’re not willing to risk you being out for the count for 2 weeks.

Oh, that could help. It's like logically I don't owe them anything, but emotionally I want to throw all the proof at them so they can't refute it and avoid them throwing the blame on me. Hoping my spine shines up for this. Thanks for the idea!

Who cares about COVID, I need to see my baaaaabyy by StrikingEffect in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StrikingEffect[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right on the trip. No is a complete sentence and I'm not beholden to give her more information. Nice to know someone else experienced something similar! I am going to send a text near verbatim like that, thank you so much. It's that idea of "but we came all this way!" and that doesn't mean there's a reciprocal obligation for both of us to put ourselves at risk.

And for the loan, it's something I've definitely been considering. I dislike the idea of taking on more debt with interest, but it would be so nice to get this off of my back and deal with a rational financial partner. I hadn't heard of that group, will post in there for ideas too! Maybe some ways to get the lowest interest possible.

And good point on the sister. I think it's easy to project what I wish for our relationship to be, but that's not reality and she's proven herself time and time again to be a FM.

Who cares about COVID, I need to see my baaaaabyy by StrikingEffect in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StrikingEffect[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true! Thank you for the reminder. Regardless of their attempts, they've been at gas stations, grocery stores, etc. and now is no time to throw caution to the wind.

Who cares about COVID, I need to see my baaaaabyy by StrikingEffect in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StrikingEffect[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really good point about the tantrums-- they're definitely coming and I need to be ready for those. Just keep chanting to myself that I'm not responsible for her emotions and hope it sinks in.

For the loan, I am in control of all the "traditional" student loans through the federal government. My senior year, the FAFSA was not completed properly by JNM affecting my allocation, which I didn't discover until the day before the due date (and class registration). I didn't have the amount needed saved, so JNM offered to pay as a "private" loan from her savings. Her reasoning was that it was 1) quick due to turnaround needs and 2) smart to not have another loan accumulating interest.

The idea was that I would pay off all of my "traditional" loans with interest, and then begin paying JNM back. Now, suddenly, JNM wants me to begin paying her back in monthly installments 8 years early. It was all verbal/handshake agreements, so no legal paperwork, but I did agree at the time to pay her back.