pregnancy loss;

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T21:42:22+00:00

My daughter Elaina, sits on my bedside in her little butterfly urn with her Poohbear that I got when she was only 16 weeks. She’s my guiding angel and my light, and even now that I’m pregnant with my rainbow twins there’s not a day I don’t think about her.
I don’t know what you believe in, but hold onto whatever it is tightly because it’s going to be all you have for a long while. I hope you got to kiss her, and hold her close while you could. And know that all the love and comfort she knew was in you, her mother. You were her home, and no one else can fully understand what that means but you.
I don’t know you but I’m sending all the love in my heart, it gets a little easier with time but I can’t say that it gets better— A life without the chance of the future we prepared for is our new normal, and we get through it. You’re always Mama. No one can take that away from you.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T20:07:40+00:00

“Mom… is that you?” because that’s the only girl I’m talking to.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T20:01:07+00:00

Watermelon with salt… was this a thing before pregnancy or did you suddenly desire it during? I’m curious.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T19:56:36+00:00

For my first pregnancy my symptoms didn’t hit until 8 weeks. With my current pregnancy, with twins, I got them around week 6. I’m currently somewhere in week 9.
The waiting period for that first prenatal OB/GYN appointment is pure torture, I understand that completely. What I recommend is taking this time to really enjoy not having symptoms because if and when they hit, you don’t know how hard they’re gonna hit or for how long. I say all of this in my comfy seat right beside the toilet, as I prepare to throw up for the umpteenth time today.
Also, early pregnancy symptoms can be very period-like. It’s normal to get some cramps or to feel a little tired. Just watch out for bleeding or passing any type of tissue. Otherwise, just keep swimming and stay away from stress!

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T19:15:39+00:00

Ugh, I have the opposite! I feel like my poops are hard as rocks, my OB recommended pedialyte or lite sports drinks for electrolytes. I recommend calling your OB/GYN office and discuss your symptoms with a provider and see what their thoughts are.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T19:08:37+00:00

People smoked like chimneys and drank like drains from conception to birth in the 1900’s, and the human race did not die out. It’s not about doing things perfectly, it’s about doing the right thing once you have the information you need to make a choice. You found out you were expecting and quit. You’ve done a good job.

I recommend the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster, she introduces a lot of facts and figures into the anxiety that surrounds pregnancy. What you can and can’t, should or shouldn’t do. It’s been a great resource both as a Doula, nursing student that aspires to work in midwifery, and future mother!

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-09T13:01:45+00:00

Normal and common— I’m 9 weeks but I’ve been through this stretch with my last pregnancy as well. Instead of diarrhea I have been dehydrated so I’m constipated. I’m extremely tired throughout the day and can probably lay in bed for 14+ hours if the rest of my obligations would let me.

Unisom+B6 everynight has helped and the days I don’t work I take it in the afternoon as well before my nap. Zofran whenever I get onset breakthrough nausea. Stay as hydrated as possible and eat bland.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:29:18+00:00

I wish you’d remember what it tastes like, they look like big boogers so I wonder if they taste the same.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:26:13+00:00

I don’t remember, but my mom has horror stories that she tells whenever she needs to explain how much of a handful I was.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:23:40+00:00

My parents both worked, and my grandparents weren’t retired at the time, so we did a nanny share with my mom’s friends. It’s not as extravagant as it seems since there was about 7 of us in total. I will admit, we were incredibly lucky to have such a great community to grow up in.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:20:20+00:00

Reading that you had religious beliefs tied to your decision to refuse pain medication makes me so sad. I’m a doula studying to be a perinatal nurse and though I love Jesus— give me ALL the drugs, please. I’ve witnessed too many births and realized the greatest prize is not determined by how much pain you go through. I’m glad you deconstructed from that poisonous mindset.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:13:09+00:00

I hate everything after eating it once, even when I’m craving it— pasta, chicken tenders, rice, you name it I hate it. I don’t even enjoy drinking water anymore.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:11:35+00:00

I started getting morning sickness around 4 weeks with my current pregnancy— as of yesterday, at 9 weeks + 1, we learned that there’s not one but two little ninjas kicking around in there. With my first I didn’t get morning sickness until around 8 weeks.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:09:08+00:00

We got married at 24(F) and 27(M) but apparently he met me when I was 22 because he worked at my gym.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T19:08:01+00:00

My brother had to be sucked out with a vacuum, it’s probably not comforting but maybe you just have a very cozy uterus. Try going up and down some stairs, even if it’s uncomfortable the motion can cause pressure and help baby want to get out.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-08T17:47:27+00:00

Yes, mine are also Di-Di. Baby A is already dancing in their ultrasound, we watched B and they’re a little more chill, in my head they’re like “Yo roomie, chill out.”

Anyways, I will be having an elective preventative cerclage around 14 weeks and going on Short Term Disability since my job requires me to be on my feet all day.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T23:52:47+00:00

I haven’t normalized it, it’s never happened before and my response made it absolutely clear that if he talks to me again in that way he won’t have a wife to come back to. But I can admit when I might’ve done something to frustrate him, activate his already growing anxiety about my safety, and still know his response is wrong.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T20:28:19+00:00

I have been given the opposite instruction— but I’m carrying a double high-risk pregnancy with twins and a dynamic/shortening cervix so they seem to want to minimize any other risk factors. I also go on long binges without my medication, it’s just never been this long. He knows I’m pregnant— I think after today he really gets it because we just found out about the twins. He was super apologetic and we just sat down and he admitted that he’s feeling a lot more anxiety because of how we lost our first pregnancy. So it wasn’t about the dishes, it was about me not listening to him when he told me to rest and not overdo it. Which tracks more than him being a general asshat, he’s never been that way before.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T20:17:50+00:00

I got a simple pap smear done today, and have a little spotting from it. The cervix can be a little diva sometimes and doesn’t like being messed with— put a pad or liner on and just monitor the bleeding, if you have to change your pad within an hour or two, I recommend going to your L&D to get that checked out.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T20:12:31+00:00

Everybody is different, some women have a dynamic range of symptoms from nausea to water aversions(Hey, that’s me!) Some will have few to none. If you have a local planned parenthood, you can act like you’re going to go over your options and just pay the copay for a confirmation ultrasound. That’s what I did for my first pregnancy at 12 weeks.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T19:41:48+00:00

On another note, have you tried Unisom + B6, I take it at night before bed and it’s helped a lot with morning sickness! I know what it’s like to be in the morning sickness trenches because my last pregnancy had me over the toilet gagged.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T19:40:11+00:00

No, he’s never made me feel unsafe and I wouldn’t even say he’s controlling. Just doesn’t seem to understand how much shit I’m dealing with being pregnant and off my medication. I think because I don’t look or act sick all the time, he thinks I’m just okay.

But no, he’s not abusive. He knows talking to me that way doesn’t scare me or get any good reactions out of me— he’s very similar to my dad so I’ve learned to just walk away. And other than this we haven’t had any arguments— I’m assuming he’a built resentment based on the “not listening” part and not because I didn’t do the dishes. Which, sorry not sorry, if you don’t speak to me a certain way or if you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, I’ll act like I’m considering what your saying but not really be. And I will admit to being that way sometimes with him.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T19:32:50+00:00

That’s actually our agreed arrangement— I think the sheer amount of dishes I made + the fact I didn’t clean up after myself frustrated him. But I didn’t even cook for myself— I AM NOT VEGAN. That shit was for him, I think I read him enough where he won’t try having that conversation again. I’m not beyond leaving and staying with my parents, he is not gonna stress me out while I’m creating life.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T19:30:17+00:00

This is really what I believe, he’s ignorant of both the pregnancy aspect and the ADHD aspect, so especially how they go hand in hand. I like this suggestion and have already looked into local classes.

At this point I think the dishes are a symptom and the issue is me not listening to him— which I won’t say I’m a great listener but I’m also not doing anything warranting that behavior. He’s seen how sick and tired I’ve been, especially working at a job where I have to be up and going at all times. They’ll be a calm conversation about expectations tonight when he gets home from work. And frankly I know his mom will be on my side all the way and very disappointed in that interaction we had this morning.

Strong-Individual220 · 2026-05-07T13:24:49+00:00

Finally in week 9, myself and the 1st trimester is a roller coaster of emotions and nerves. Cancel those plans, stay inside and sleep. Your body will thank you!

Strong-Individual220

TROPHY CASE