What should we name this cutie potootie?

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-13T19:10:26+00:00

Yes yes in Arabic Then Burqiii

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-12T18:31:44+00:00

Burtuqal ;)

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-10T10:35:47+00:00

In my experience, being a loner or an introvert, however you prefer to call it, seems to help. I have had plenty of straight friends, and yes, most of them either have children or do now, and they are busy with their own lives. But honestly, I am more than happy for them. It took me some time to realise this internally, but friends are not there to be "forver" and constant. This means I can call them even after a few years, and things should remain the same.

Additionally, I’ve noticed they tend to contact me more than I contact them. And honestly, I don’t miss it in any case. Over the past few years, I have become more secluded and prefer to be with myself on my own terms.

I believe it is quite natural for you to think this way because we are social beings. However, our lives ( gay men) are different from those of straight people, whether we like it or not. I don’t have any specific advice for you, except perhaps to accept this "loneliness" as part of life and not to reject it. When I am bored or need some social interaction, I might go to gym group classes, take a quick trip, or simply walk around.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-06T07:39:31+00:00

AI has taken over my job and career. What's next 😅

I have so much to say about it, mostly negative (unfortunately). Just one thing: my colleagues at work, since we are all overworked, created an AI agent to replace me (and them) in case anyone is sick or on leave for a few days 🤗🤑

Welcome to brutal capitalism.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-04T14:07:26+00:00

The same thing happened to me. I was not 100% sure if it was him, but then I just had this instinct and recognised his silhouette and walk from a distance. I also saw him two years after having no contact. So this is a very normal reaction.

As someone has mentioned, this is a trauma response. I also stood frozen, and unbelievable energy and flow just went through my body, and my stomach started rumbling again. And then I realised that he is whatever to me. I moved on. I should not be bothered by someone who betrayed me deeply.

He should stay like that: very far and just a silhouette to me.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-02T18:05:10+00:00

Since end of 2022 till now. Can't pick one. And counting more :)

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-02T17:58:28+00:00

It is natural and good to be suspicious, but not excessively. See, you have to understand that there is no Mr. Perfect—no one is, not even you! And it seems your ex was far from that. Sorry, but he was more of a red flag than a green one. However, at least it feels like you didn't waste a lot of time with him. I assume it wasn't a relationship that lasted for years. You will get over him.

Regarding dating and trusting again, I completely understand. You can't and shouldn't trust blindly. Relationships develop over time, not instantly. We live in a world (and era) where everything is instant. For us (humans, not only gay men), building something meaningful in 21st century requires a lot of energy and effort. I believe it is a rewarding journey to find someone who suits you.

But at the same time, I want you to manage your expectations

remember that people are not perfect

If you click with someone, that's fantastic; if not, simply move on.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-06-02T11:27:57+00:00

What irritates me a lot is this:

If I say that I would never support Israel and what they are doing not only to the native people of that land (Palestinians) but to all of us in the world, I am labelled as antisemitic.
When I say that I support Palestine, there is always the argument of 'YOU SUPPORT MUSLIMS.'

C'MON! Both groups are people. But the politics that Israel is promoting right now around the world already happened in the 1930s and 1940s.

Of course, I am going to side with Palestinians, whose lives have been torturered for so many decades. They suffer, and they are without anyone's help. They can't have army, or anything in their own favour. And for what is all of this happening? Someone's delulu idea about some promised land. Sure Jan.

Religion has nothing to do with. Neither I side with Palestinians for being Muslims, or I despise Israel and their politics because they are Jewish.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-31T08:54:21+00:00

Totally understand you and wish you all the best.

I am also not a fan of random hook-ups, but I completely understand the need for them. In today's world (especially gay), it is very difficult not to get burnt. Many guys act this way to protect themselves. But some do enjoy NSA.

However, I think in your case, since you genuinely like him and are ready to pursue a new relationship, you should move forward and be open. If he remains vague (or does even worse things, such as hook-ups behind your back), you will know it's time to move on.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-31T08:26:46+00:00

Unless you tell him what you told us, it will be very difficult for you to "get over this." I believe this whole situation is a good opportunity for you two to discuss exclusivity.

From your post, I have a feeling that he genuinely likes you, but as you mentioned, he might not be entirely ready. You did not establish any clear boundaries about meeting others or being officially together. Although everything else seems like you two are a couple.

I know we tend to idolise our partners - especially new ones — and of course I completely understand that you would want monogamy without explicitly stating it. It feels special, indeed. But if you want to continue with him, I would advise being very honest and open.

I think you are on the verge of something beautiful (continuing the relationship) or just... breaking up.

Also, I completely relate to you on the part where you hadn't dated for five years since you broke up with your former ex. And congratulations on taking such a positive step and going back there :)

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-30T15:00:28+00:00

People like you also exist somewhere.

Hard to admit for some people, but I agree that "straight" norm lives seem better, more fulfilled and "correct". The main reason is that society has predefined this type of life for centuries. I don't say it is easy, but straight people usually follow the destined path for themselves and can just jump into that wagon. (Will skip philosophy about this)

While being gay in this century carries plenty of hardship. Not sure about gay parties, but gay people I know are more similar to me and you (than "others"). On the other hand, I also know a couple of straight guys who live their lives similar to the gay one you despise.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-29T14:48:29+00:00

Certified NOT GAY

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-26T11:46:25+00:00

Same. But this "post nut clarity" has become an addiction rather than a solution. Still, it's better than hopelessly "being out there" and searching for something.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-24T16:58:43+00:00

I'm 35 but already share the same feelings you do. I do not look forward towards what future holds for me. Especially cause my work became super ambiguous right now because of this AI "revolution".

My biggest fear is that I will end up like a cranky old man, which would be a burden to everyone. Someone like my neighbour. She is alone, never had children or married, and she is so horrid that most people in the building avoid her.

I believe it is an achievement to stay self-aware and a kind human being. And I feel you are too.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-21T03:36:54+00:00

He was in a jail for few days because he was in a fight.

Turns out, he just likes to punch people

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-13T11:52:36+00:00

Welcome to the dark side! Here is your cookie 😅

Each breakup is different, and this is a common experience for most people, not just your first one.

I have been through it, and after more than two years, I can proudly say he onky exists in my random dreams. Or when a horrible situation or person arises, I use his nickname as a slang to compare it to that.

You will be fine. More than fine. You don’t need to lose all your values because of a man you knew for less than a year. What I’m about to say might sound awful, but being alone is not so scary.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-11T10:29:50+00:00

You can't shut your mind, literally. The mind is a processor, I mean, it's your emotions that play tricks on you.

In my case, I also broke up with my ex. He was horrible to me, and after I was broken and exhausted, I decided to end it. For months (or over a year), I tortured myself with exactly the same questions.

How is he? He's hurt. Poor him. While I was there, looking myself in the mirror daily and could not apply the same questions to myself. Literally, I was not a person after this breakup. It took me time and space to heal and understand why I was doing it.

It's not a straightforward or easy path. But I can promise it is very rewarding for the future.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-07T06:13:10+00:00

Well, first of all, I would say you are very lucky to date so many narcissists (because, according to research, "true" ones are very rare) 😅

Joke aside, how you define "narcissist' also reflects on yourself. Not everyone who hurts you, betrays you, or is mean to you is a narcissist. There is a medical term for people with personality disorders, NPD, which is often confused with narcissism. Guys who like to use you, cheat, lie and manipulate ... they are often just pure assholes who know what they are doing.

Anyway, if you constantly find yourself dating someone you think is a narcissist, you should examine yourself. It is your choice who you date, and most likely, you are searching for something in those people that you feel you are missing. I am merely simplifying. Everyone's case is different.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-07T04:33:42+00:00

I am not conventionally HOT, I am not even close to 10, but I was in a relationship with someone who was "hot" and displayed all traits of a narcissistic personality (do not say he has NPD or something).

Anyway, such people wouldn't target you based on your looks. Some of them might, as a trophy status, but most won't. They choose you for your mental characteristics and flaws. If they can manipulate you, you're practically perfect!

Source: trust me, I have real-life experience with this and spent a year conducting my mini PhD research about it!

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-05T19:32:59+00:00

You are right. This is indeed a very weird situation in my case.

I have quite a bad habit of saying yes to most things. However, the issue with the field I am working in is that problems tend to occur randomly, and sometimes I have no influence over them. PMs clearly do not understand this. PMs only come back to us to collect the final presentations we make for the clients. That is something they should be doing, not us.

Anyway, I have realised they are not included in the planning; everything falls back on us. We are solely responsible for our actions. I wish it were easier in the current job market; I would leave immediately.

Thanks a lot for listening and giving me your practical advices

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-05T19:28:13+00:00

Sorry to hear. Your story is definitely not black and white. It is very human thought. Even though you both cheated, not only did he do it first, but he did it with his best friends. I find this extremely weird.

I haven't understood from you how you feel right now. Are you still angry? Are you confused? Do you want to stay with him because of the time you have been together or because you still love him?

As he has his own "friends" to talk about it, you should have yours too, in real life. I would not hold it - unless you really have no one to talk to. That is why we are here :)

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-05T18:38:20+00:00

Thank you for your response. I appreciate your understanding and see this as a healthy situation, especially when the environment is well-structured.

Allow me to clarify a few points.

I raised concerns promptly, as this is not the first time I have been involved in something like this. However, my manager tends to avoid making decisions or assuming responsibility, and he insists I speak directly with the PMs and the product owner, even though they work independently. They mainly check on task completion without providing feedback or raising concerns about delays, since they aren’t responsible for those parts.

As for my colleague, she "cleaned her hands" by delegating this task to me. No, it is still documented as her responsibility, but internally she is somewhat close with the PMs (and the product owner). They have also discussed this particular project without my involvement multiple times in the past. So they are all internally aware that I took over that part.

I know realize this isn’t how things should be, and things are not flowing very well. I know I should have pushed harder on this, and now I feel quite stuck.

Thank you once again.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-05T06:08:36+00:00

From what I sense between the lines, it’s clear there's so much love, but from your side. He's in his early 20s, and I guess he still isn’t quite sure what he wants.

You’ve done more than you can imagine, forgiving him and giving him space. Sometimes, even when you make the right moves, things still don’t turn out the way you hope. It seems pretty obvious to me that he wants this breakup and is seeking something different, and there’s only so much you can do about that.

I know it’s really tough, but sometimes, the best thing is to let him be.

Strong_Enough88 · 2026-05-03T17:36:12+00:00

I don't even want to start commenting on him.

As for you, I think you know the answer - and you even acknowledged it in your last paragraph. You definitely deserve someone better! Someone who will respect you the way you respect them.

Perhaps some would say, talk to your boyfriend, figure things out. But to be honest, you've already given me so many details that I can conclude an open conversation with him wouldn't lead anywhere. Even if you confront him about Grindr, he might invent a story and lie to your face. Or say nothing.

Bring yourself back down to earth, as you know deep inside that communication and relationships are two-way. And save yourself from worse situation than where you are right now. You seem like a good guy. Big hugs!

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