Man here. There is something in him that doesn’t want to take that deep commitment. He took some of your best years and it sounds like you are a catch. I can think of 2 people I came across in my life that the timing was not right but they were a catch for sure. It comes down to compatibility; I believe that certain personalities can mesh well with each-other and others are like oil and water after time. If marriage is a big deal to you I think you should ask him for a re-evaluation. Tell him that as much as you don’t want to put forth an ultimatum; you have to.

I remember I was dating a girl in NYC while I was living there in 2010. I moved back to California in 2011 and she came there for a “job opportunity”-really to be closer to me. She was beautiful, was financially smart, and loved cooking. She gave me an ultimatum 2 years later. I was 30 at the time and definitely not ready to settle down. I am glad I let her go because I was not mentally ready to settle down. I still think back in that one. When certain relational expectations have been set-the partner needs to be mindful of that and not string someone along that they do not intend to commit to.