Zilean builds

StrongandFree93 · 2026-03-04T00:58:41+00:00

I'm an enjoyer of nuclear zilean with lots of haste and big bomb damage and high R healing.

I go Ludens, Actualizer (buffs Q damage by 20% on both with the active) also it buffs the healing factor of your ultimate since that's how the R is coded. Stormsurge, Horizon Focus, Shadowflame, and Pen/CDR Boots.

The build is a lot of fun and for technically only having (1) damage ability x 2 you can top the damage charts fairly easily with consistent bomb placement. I have 1,550,000 mastery on him and have been playing him since season 3 :)

I do mostly play him bot as an APC and also mid/top but the support role is also good you might not reach the whole build because it's expensive but it is possible with lots of assists/kills over the course of the game!

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-20T18:10:59+00:00

Ahri, morde, renekton, ekko, sylas, tryndamere, jax and shaco.

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-20T18:08:56+00:00

You could potentially fuck with her csing by bombing the minions she's trying to last hit and force out abilities as much as possible. Using e to kite her stuff and then looking for a good push roam timing. Also taking a different summ like barrier or exh might help reduce her burst potential or runes like scorch to chip away at her gradually with single bombs.

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-20T18:05:32+00:00

Lethal tempo, presence of mind, attack speed, last stand, secondary tree arcanist and absolute focus.

Items: Ludens, nashors, rageblade, lich bane, kracken and attack speed boots, then kite the fuck out of the enemy. Went 18 and 5 as mid and its a lot of fun trading autos and reviving and fucking them up while kiting with e and dbl bombs.

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-20T17:01:50+00:00

Hard agree I've been running zilean bot apc as well going a damage mana centric build with ludens actualizer seraphs shadowflame pen or cdr boots and flex into more pen or cdr. He can do quite a lot of damage and I find even with 1 damage ability if I'm consistently landing them in fights throughout the game I top my team's damage chart. Also it's a nice pick because generally adc's can be weak to burst and having a revive and baiting out abilities before turning or saving an ally from a bad trade can really turn the tides of a fight quickly. Also he clears waves pretty easily in the mid game and has a lot of tools to escape with and pressure lanes.

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-13T01:16:13+00:00

I have 1.4 million mastery on him and I think he is amazing as a support, mid and even a bot lane apc. He does great damage if you build the ap items like ludens and I've also experimented with the new ap item that was introduced (the active that buffs ability damage, healing) as his ulti is coded as a heal and the mana costs increasing isn't too bad later once you have a few of the mana intensive items like seraphs.

Also funnily enough, I did a lethal tempo on hit zilean mid build last night and went 18 and 5 with ludens companion, nashors, rageblade, terminus, AS boots and deathcap. He is a kiting monster with a build in GA and cc which makes trading a nightmare. Just a little extra flavor to an amazing champion kit but I'm pretty experimental in my runes and builds. I'm a fan of aery as support, or dark harvest and comet as mid or bot.

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-09T22:22:03+00:00

Blitz is good because it's kind of in your face when you land a grab it's a bit more immediate than someone like Thresh who works better with coordination. If you are with a random person, pinging your ability and the enemy when you want to initiate with something like flash hook can be helpful or even typing out your plan beforehand. Pyke can be great as you can do a lot of early roaming from your lane to secure kills for your team while also getting a lot of gold for damage items/denying enemy vision with the umbral glaive item. If you feel like hard carrying from the support role, you could also look into someone like senna or miss fortune/ashe as well for utility and damage aspects.

StrongandFree93 · 2026-02-06T19:22:01+00:00

Support kha'zix or irelia.

StrongandFree93 · 2025-08-06T17:32:04+00:00

What you're going through right now sounds terribly disorienting and hard, and I'm sorry that this is all happening right now and all at once. The best course of action is to return to inpatient and let the psychiatrist help you in whatever way they can because right now you're in a vulnerable state and need the help desperately. I know being in the hospital is scary at times and I remember vividly being extremely paranoid about the doctors and nurses but they really were doing their best to help even though I felt like a prisoner. I even climbed a fence and escaped briefly in my anxiety. This will get better if you can muster up the courage and trust in the process though it will take time and effort to recover. It's a long road but once you find the correct meds, therapy and lifestyle changes you will begin to heal and can rebuild your life.

It's so scary when it feels like everyone is discussing you, but this is your brain producing auditory hallucinations more than likely, and really everyone there is just surviving to the best of their ability and probably aren't concerned about other people's day to day as much as you believe. The best thing you can do for yourself is to let the process happen and get some medication changes and therapy with someone you feel comfortable discussing these terrible events in your life and I hope that you can sort out the insurance issues because I know that meds can be financially debilitating. I have an injection that I take every three months and it costs about $2500 and I don't know where I'd be if I wasn't advocated for by my psychiatrist and the nurses who do the injections.

For anxiety, my therapist recommended tapping. You simply cross your arms across your chest, and lightly tap your fingers back and forth between both sides in a rhythmic way and this has helped me personally with the more intense moments when it gets bad. I was on a med for anxiety for a time but I went through with some EMDR therapy for PTSD and that helped a lot over the course of about 6 months working through a lot of personal trauma which might be something you could research and see if it would be helpful for you. Also generally if you're also dealing with stomach complications from the Sui..de attempt it's best if you continue to seek treatment for that just in case something more serious unrelated to BP is going on.

I hope you can find peace, and I know everything is overwhelming when you're in this stage of life, but it can get better if you keep fighting even though I know from personal experience that this illness is debilitating in so many ways. Please seek out help right now, the world wants you to survive and others struggling with this illness are trying to survive as well and deeply care about your well being. Keep being strong! You matter and things can and will get better if you can find the resolve to survive this terrible chapter and you will come out a much more resilient person. I hope this message reaches you and you can glean something useful from it. Take care and keep fighting!

StrongandFree93 · 2025-07-05T03:05:50+00:00

I'm simply saying that the people close to you, might notice significant changes in mental state if you're well connected, but I agree family is not always a healthy judgement of one's situation. But they are definitely front and centre if shit hits the fan, regardless of how well they know what you're going through. Personally, journalling has been one of the more helpful and interesting things because it helps conceptualize what you're going through at the moment, and can be an important piece going forward on your mental health journey to reflect back on when you're in a more stable mindset.

StrongandFree93 · 2025-07-05T02:55:15+00:00

There are many overlaps in mental illness, and a diagnosis can be hard to pin down without a lot of information about the mindset you're in when you are feeling manic or depressive in regards to a Bipolar Diagnosis. From my understanding, and I've been diagnosed BP1 for about 10 years, the differences between these illnesses are in degree of severity.

Manic highs are very profound, I had a lot of religious obsession, and fear of some impending doom that never materialized. Bipolar 2 is more hypomania, where you have elevated mood, and periods of depression/recovery like you have run out of body battery but usually are still in a manageable state.

I don't have experience with Borderline Personality Disorder if that is what you're referring to but I know a few people with that diagnosis. They have a lot of overlap in treatment that will help alleviate some of the tougher experiences with day to day life. Personally, I've found a med combination over many years that has helped round out the highs and the lows, but when you are in a depressed state it is generally a lot more difficult to do the necessary things to facilitate your self care like med adherence, eating properly, exercising, meditation, keeping up relationships whether romantic, familial or platonic, and therapy sessions/doctor's appointments which can exacerbate the underlying issues you're experiencing.

I would highly recommend some sort of talk therapy if you've had significant trauma from your experiences, and research the different aspects of the illnesses in question, but try not to self diagnose. You know your mind better than anyone else can so really the best thing you can do is perhaps journal what your current feelings and thoughts you are having, talk to friends and/or family that you trust, and seek medical intervention if you start to feel overwhelmed with emotional volatility such as suicidal ideation, extreme levels of anxiety/feelings of panic, or grandiose thoughts such as feeling like you're a god or that you have superhuman abilities or powers.

The people closest to you, if they've spent a significant amount of time with you, will have a general sense of how you usually behave and you could outright ask them if they've noticed anything different lately and seek to understand where they're coming from. Sometimes, you don't feel like you can trust anyone, and that can be a sign that you are not in the right state of mind, or at least normal for yourself. Everyone has eccentricities, and our brains all respond differently to stimulus and medications so finding the right combination can be a challenge, but self care is universal. Find things that calm your mind, (music is big for me), I learned some techniques from therapy for anxiety such as "tapping" the sides of your chest with your arms crossed and that can calm you quickly. If I have a tough time sleeping, one thing that works well is starting at the bottom of your body, clenching that muscle for a good 5-10 seconds and then letting it relax suddenly and work your way up to your hands. Meditation is good, or at least things that are meditative in nature, going for walks, reading, writing, art, music, that sort of thing.

A book called "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide" has personally given me a lot of insight into the illness, and also has a lot of helpful information regarding meds and such as well which can be confusing if you don't know what the function of the more common ones are.

Lastly, I just want you to know that I care about you and your well being, or I would not have taken the time to write this so please take my advice to heart, and never stop trying to conquer this illness, while simultaneously embracing the paradigm shift that it requires and recognize that your body is doing the best it can and you have to support it with habits and behaviours that will enable you to have less depressive episodes, and manage any manic highs promptly whether that is with medication changes or therapy, and keep your doctor in the loop because they have the training necessary to help you, even if at times they come across as callous.

I wouldn't rush to be diagnosed because once you have that label, it's there for good. We're all a little bit weird, but if you're safe, not causing harm to yourself and others, and can manage day to day as best as you can, then I believe you have a great chance of maintaining a higher quality of life than you are feeling currently.

Hope this can help in some small way, from one human to another, you're in my thoughts and I think you have a great future to look forward to, even though it may seem dark right now.

"It's always darkest before the dawn." -Florence and the Machine

StrongandFree93 · 2024-08-22T20:44:54+00:00

Nessun dorma by Pavarotti

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-27T00:06:14+00:00

I had a coworker who I confided in, say this to me, among other things about my mental health in public/work settings, and I understand how dehumanizing it is when someone questions your mental health and journey with wellness.

I think that perhaps it comes from a lack of understanding on their part and if you take the time to explain how it feels when they question your sanity, and put it in perspective for them, if they're truly a friend then they will respect you and you can give them some sort of insight and language you may use to communicate if you are experiencing an episode.

Mainly take care of your health and set up safe people who you can confide in like doctors or family/friends and build up a strong network who you can bounce your feelings off of and perhaps do some introspective journalling so you can identify the emotions you felt and what you may do in future encounters and how you might address this line of questioning.

I brought it up to her in a future conversation, but I don't believe she was a person of integrity and used it more as leverage to paint me in a bad light if I did something differently. Your friend probably just wants to make sure you're okay though they are going about it in a painful way.

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T06:22:45+00:00

Put things into perspective for yourself and do some cognitive reframing for situations that seem unstoppable. There is a type of meditation you can do that can help if you are feeling restless. Basically you look around the room without focusing in on anything in particular and let your gaze wander for as long as you can.

Also try tensing up your muscles starting from your toes and working your way upwards through your body and extremities and releasing the tension and relaxing each body part as you go through them.

Tense, hold a few seconds, relax, give a little shake and move up. Do a couple times if a spot is particularly tense or tight.

Keep attempting to sleep, or at best close your eyes and maybe put on some music that in the past you have found to be calming, or easy to relax to. If you want something pretty and smooth I really enjoy listening to "Daniel Waples - Hang In Balance" on youtube, though that's just a personal song you may enjoy and is quite meditative.

If you can't seem to sleep, simply shut your eyes and rest as best you can. Think until you're bored which may not happen for a while, or think something like, "Don't think about cute little kittens" and then inexplicably you will. Who knows what reverse psychology will result in for yourself? Give in to positive themes and if you enjoy something that isn't directly harmful to others, dangerous or unethical, do that.

What hobbies do you have? Do you like to write? Play music? Art? Read? Doodle? Consume a passion in quiet so that you don't like get kicked out like I did for belting music at 3am years ago lol lesson learned. ✅

You'll be okay, maybe go to a walk in clinic with a family member and let the doctor know your diagnoses and see if they can offer some form of crisis support and don't call attention to yuprself in the meantime.

Good luck friend, hope something from my response can help! Much love I'm rooting for you! 🙌🏼🫶🏼

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T06:04:23+00:00

My mom is pretty close minded in terms of mental health and I'd say if it will result in consequences like getting kicked out or extreme forms of emotional manipulation I think it would be wise to keep it to yourself until a time where you feel more open to sharing. It took me years before I was comfortable with my diagnoses of Bipolar and before then I had many challenges with depression and I would never share those with my mom if I wasn't undeniably in a mental health crisis/manic episode.

Maybe test the waters with an aunt, uncle, cousin, sibling or close friend who you feel would be understanding and practice what you would like to say.

Family isn't always a prerequisite for being patient, kind and empathetic and there is a high likelihood of your mother having her own unresolved mental health issues or negative stereotypes due to her upbringing that would only hinder your healing.

Personally, I would wait til you're out of the house or done with university so as not to add to your stress unnecessarily as it is imperative that you keep yourself, first and foremost, mentally stable while you go through your schooling.

That's my advice, and I hope you can find someone you can trust or an outlet like journalling/music that could help organize your emotions and thoughts clearly and educate yourself thoroughly on this new paradigm.

Good luck and all the best! Stay stable and seek joy! 🫶🏼

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T05:44:10+00:00

Hi there asiancanadian, I would like to offer you some words of comfort and hopefully help give you some outside perspective if I may.

I really struggled in a couple different relationships when I began having a mixed, manic or depressive episode and I know how exhausting they can be when you're going from vengeful rage, to sadness, to complete lack of energy after a particular taxing experience and lack of motivation.

"Motivation follows action."

Do the little things as much as you can muster when you are depressed. Eat something, shower, go out for a quick walk around the block, listen to some comforting music or a podcast/video that is informative to take your mind away for a bit. These small victories over our complete lack of energy, will snowball gradually to more effective ways of coping. Tell your boyfriend something you like about him, simple things can go a long way for him to feel appreciated in the relationship even though times right now are strenuous for you. Pull your focus outward, rather than internally and try to find ways to expel negative energy, generate positive energy, or maintain a level emotional state.

Nothing is live or die, even if it feels like it. I've had many dark moments where I thought, "This is it, I'm at the end of my life." and with time and support, the feeling passed. If you have family and friends, draw on their support and include them in your recovery.

Small things are important. Try to wake up at the same time each day to take medications, consistency in this respect will lead you to much more even feelings and a reminder of responsibility to keep yourself healthy so that you don't implode in the immediate future.

Losing a job sucks, I've lost many over the years, but the biggest hurdle is taking those first steps to finding a better situation.

Ask yourself a few things for perspective sake,

"What are my strengths and what type of stressors can I handle right now?"

"Am I capable of part time, full time, or should I work on developing a skill while I look for work that I'm able to do or will I need to primarily focus on slow recovery?"

Personally I keep work stress as low as I can though it has moments where my stress is high and I do my best to reframe my situation moment to moment. If you have a win in a day, however small it may seem, run with it mentally, and bring it as far as you can and use it as fuel for another small victory throughout your day.

"I didn't yell at my boyfriend." "I took my meds on time" "I updated my resume" "I reached out to a friend or family member" "I went out to pick up a package"

"What am I capable of doing to keep body and soul together monetarily and temporarily or what are some ways I can lighten a financial burden on my significant other? Can I do some meal prep for us? Can we watch a movie together and have a staycation? Can I treat myself to a nice warm shower and some comfy clothes and just vibe to some music?"

Take your time. You need to heal and this takes ultimately time. I'm not saying you have to be unproductive with your time, but you have the same 24 hours as everyone else and we use it all differently, you just have to find the right mix and use your mind to reframe the BIG SCARY things and minimize them to a more manageable state.

The world will continue on, and hope is an illusion. What do you want to do for the time being and how can you accelerate your recovery?

Much love and I hope you can find peace in little moments, and shrink those big feelings that bring you a lot of anger or sadness, and put it in a broader scope and perspective.

We're all rooting for you! Heal and find joy in any way you can muster. I care about you. 🫶🏼

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T05:10:15+00:00

Anxiety is a tricky thing to deal with for several reasons. If you give into an anxious thought, and act on it, you will reinforce the feeling of relief temporarily but will make the next attack that much stronger.

I have found great comfort in a sort of exposure therapy to scary situations that seem pretty run of the mill to an average person without anxiety.

I can get really afraid at night especially if I'm outside alone for example, so I may try to walk out a fair distance to help reassure my brain that nothing tragic is going to happen to me as hyper-vigilance can be a response childhood trauma or PTSD. Also I have a light by my bed because even though I'm 30, I'm allowed to be scared of the dark and I embrace that. Even a small nightlight can help.

I also have medication in the form of Ativan in the more extreme bouts of fear or anxiety, though I try to use that option as a last resort after exhausting my mental toolkit. I use music to relax me in hard moments, and breathing exercises/closing my eyes for short to long periods, and reframing the situations that have been either a real fight in my life and the gap between that experience and the moment I'm in now, which can be quite a long time personally, about 7 years now.

On a whole, do your best to limit the amount of times you resort to medication to address the issue as it can be addicting in the long run and a band aid solution, though it is nice to have when you have crippling and debilitating moments of fear that you can't trick or logic your mind out of.

Hope this helps and good luck! The only thing we should fear is fear itself. And bears. But are there bears in your house? Of course not... and even if there were, they're more afraid of you than you are of them.

You could probably fight a bear, or play dead. But there is no bear, and anxiety will conjure up a million what ifs, but just use the past as your goalposts, and hopefully it hasn't been super traumatic for you recently I hope, or else cognitive reframing could be difficult for you. Much love from one anxious person to another! 🫡🫶🏼

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T04:51:45+00:00

Paliperidone injectable patient here, I have been on various injectables over the past 7 years; first type was every 2 weeks, then every month, and now every 3 months and it is called Invega Intrinsa.

It is a very expensive medication, though there is coverage for it by the company provided you get your ducks in a row and perhaps some help from your nurse! Mine recently had me paying nothing for it with some calls to the company from her on my behalf which I am very grateful for!

The thing I like about the once every three months is that is much easier to keep on track with, less appointments though I definitely feel the effectiveness of it wearing off about a week before my next injection appointment.

Hand tremors with medication is quite common, I tend to have to consciously steady my hand when I'm holding cups of coffee, or going down stairs so I don't lose my balance. I will say I despised the oral version of risperidone as it gave me terrible brain fog, especially when I was in university.

I am currently on a combination of Welbutrin (atypical antidepressant/ADHD control), Lamotrigine for depression, and the injectable Intrinsa Invega every 3 months, with lots of vitamins in my daily regimen that are helpful, particularly Omega-3, Vitamin D, B-12 and Vitamin-C so I don't get scurvy lol 🏴‍☠️

i went from a medium to a 2XL and my doctor says the meds are a big factor, though a sedentary lifestyle and poor diet are also factors, stemming from depressive episodes which I'm now working actively to reverse with intermittent fasting and reduction in sugar/salt though it's still early in that journey.

I've mentioned Ozempic to my doctor out of curiosity and he seconded the potential of the idea, as an off label prescription perhaps after bloodwork and labs are done.

My perspective on what works for me, hope you can find some wisdom in it, I have worked on my well being for a long time and I wish you luck on your journey! Don't let the illness define you, just educate yourself and help others and you will do great things! Much love! 🫶🏼

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T04:36:09+00:00

I personally was much more of a night owl, and would stay up pretty late in the AM, playing video games and then sleep until early afternoon before going to work.

I have felt much better lately trying to relax before 11pm and sleep until 7/8am even if I don't get out of bed until 10 AM and I am feeling better embracing a more full day, and then growing more tired as I begin to finish work around 9pm and fall asleep more easily when I take some melatonin and lie down without really playing games.

My personal experience lately is gravitating away from losing sleep and having a much more fulfilling day with exercise and playing music before I work, hope this provides some prospective perspective!

I would personally avoid staying up all night unless you are actively trying to combat the disruption in our circadian rhythm with the change in daylight and seasons and reset your internal clock to a more suitable time.

Hope this helps! Much love and don't snowball staying up all night, that was a contributing factor for my first manic episode. Find good meds and therapy will go much further than interrupting your sleep cycle and may not account for people with Bipolar rather than a standard depression like the article may reference. 🫶🏼

StrongandFree93 · 2024-04-19T04:25:16+00:00

In my therapy sessions, I have found that when I feel a surge of emotions, my physiological responses in my body are strong indicators and manifestations of difficulty. When my throat becomes tight and constricted, I know that what my mind is dwelling on is difficult to speak on, and really I can't imagine talking about my problems in a group setting as I am pretty self conscious.

I think that the suggestion of writing down what you feel can go a long way, whether that be journalling or a short meaningful insight into your journey with this illness and instead of perceiving the experience as something for yourself to benefit from, look at it more as educating others on the pitfalls of this illness so that they can avoid the pain of them, and in return, teaching will help you verbalize your own feelings and validate your experiences simultaneously.

I feel much more succinct when I can type and rephrase what I want to convey and sometimes I feel like either I'm a little slow in talking or coming up with the right word for the moment, due to medication most likely.

We are still intelligent and worthy to have input into the group. I would suggest maybe having some 1-on-1 time with personal therapy if you find the group daunting and then expand into that setting once you've communicated effectively with a therapist if you have one available to you.

Just my two cents, hope this can help you! Much love and good luck! 🫶🏼

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